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Finding Happiness During Hard Times
Dedication:
I am dedicating this article to my family, and to many of my friends on both Facebook and HubPages who have been supportive and comforting to me in my own time of unhappiness, especially the wonderful Epigramman and the esteemed Billybuc, Cat, Shanmarie, Nellieanna, Just Ask Susan, Abby Campbell, Suzie HQ and Karen Hellier. I appreciate every one of you, as well as many others whose names I haven't listed.
Fleeting Happiness
Life can throw us curveballs, and sometimes it is hard to be positive during these times. When we focus on the bad things happening in our life, it is hard to make room for any ounce of happiness that is waiting to sneak in.
"Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it." ~ Fyodor Dostoevsky
"Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open." ~ John Barrymore
The Definition of Happiness
Basic Contents:
In this article, I provide:
- many tips and suggestions for finding happiness, although not everything will work for you. Everyone is different, and what may be fun for one person could be boring or frustrating for another.
- I am also sharing with you many quotes on happiness that I have found inspiring.
- Feel free to participate in the poll on "sources of happiness", and to comment once you are finished reading this. I always enjoy feedback from my readers.
- I have also provided some links to a post on stress-relieving hobbies, fascinating articles on happiness, and to a couple of beautiful poems. To round it out, there's a video on art, as well as a couple of happy music videos. I hope you get something positive out of this.
- Please check out the link to Faith's beautiful hub, "Smiles That Hide Our Pain". It is just above the videos.
Going To A Park Is Fun In Any Season
Click thumbnail to view full-sizeQuotes That Explain What Happiness Is
- "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
- "Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." ~ Joseph Addison
- "Happiness is a function of accepting what is." ~Werner Erhard
Walking Along The Water Cheers Me Up
Click thumbnail to view full-sizeNonstop Happiness
If you are looking for a secret way to be happy for eternity, without ever feeling sadness or despair, stop right here! It doesn't exist. Happiness is not by any means unreachable, but it is also not something that stays with you once you attain it. Sometimes you have to actively do something to make yourself happy, and other times simply taking action will distract your mind into becoming content. Just remember that without pain, we wouldn't understand happiness as much.
"In order to have great happiness you have to have great pain and unhappiness- otherwise how would you know when you're happy?" ~ Leslie Caron
"Happiness is a matter of one's most ordinary and everyday mode of consciousness being busy and lively and unconcerned with self." ~Iris Murdoch
How Can You Become Happy When You're Sad?
- Count your blessings, and don't let negativity rule you
- Don't surround yourself with toxic people, but with those who are supportive and positive
- Keep your eyes out for opportunities in life, and pursue them even if your mind tells you that you're not good enough
- Don't listen to the negative thoughts in your mind. If it helps, find and write down affirmations that help you to feel more positive
- Accept what is
- Mourn over your loss. It's important to get it out
- Let it go. If there's anything you can do to help the situation, do it. But when it is out of your hands, don't dwell on what you can't help
- Find things to preoccupy your time. These can be things that are productive, fun, or a mix of both
- Remember that life changes constantly. Don't resist, but let it change, and do what you can to be resilient and adaptive without losing who you are at the core
- If you are not happy about who you are at the core, take the extra effort to change yourself- your behaviors, your attitude, or the way you react. But if you do so, watch your intentions. If you are changing an important part of yourself for someone else in the hopes they'll accept you, it might backfire. Do it for yourself, unless this part of you is truly detrimental to others
Happiness Changes As We Journey Through Life
- "The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mode of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change its form without being disappointed by the change; happiness, like a child, must be allowed to grow up" ~ Charles L. Morgan
Create Your Own Happiness
"Some pursue happiness, others create it." ~ author unknown
"You need to learn to be happy by nature, because you'll seldom have the chance to be happy by your circumstance." ~ Lavetta Sue Wegman
"A man's as miserable as he thinks he is." ~ Seneca
Know Yourself
Everyone is unique. Each one of us have different things going on in our lives, and react differently to an event or tragedy. Some take a long time to get over it, and others are resilient, snapping back in no time. We each have our own ideas of what happiness is, and what causes it.
- Decide for yourself what happiness means to you
- Make a list of things that often make you happy, and refer to it when you're feeling down
- Think about what you could do to improve your life in general, and work towards achieving it
- Write a list of things you are thankful for. Even when life seems to be going downhill, I am often surprised at how long the list of things I have to be grateful for is
Boost Your Energy Level and Mood With Music!
- Start Your Day With Music
A poem by Dream On
Art Can Sometimes Improve Your Mood
- "Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling." ~ Margaret Lee Runbeck
- "Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response." ~ Mildred Barthel
Things To Do To Make Yourself Happy
Here are some of my own ideas:
- Listen to an upbeat playlist of music you enjoy- just beware of songs that make you sad
- Watch a comedy of some kind
- Writing can sometimes be therapeutic. I like to write out my thoughts and reflections in a journal
- Read a good book that takes you far away from the negativity in your life
- Watch a good movie
- Go to an art museum, or look at art from the comfort of your chair- to the right is a great video showcasing the 50 most famous paintings of all time, accompanied by music
- Talk to friends and family who boost your spirits
- Write down words of encouragement that you have received, so that you can refer to them again later. Positive reinforcement is good
- Visit family or friends
- Go out with friends
- Reconnect with an old friend
- Hug someone that you love- as long as they don't mind! Affection can be very warm
- Pay attention to a domesticated animal- I find that petting a cat or a dog can change my mood pretty fast
- Work out- it is good for you, and boosts feelings of wellbeing
- Go on a walk. If you are able to go somewhere that relaxes you, that is especially ideal
- Take a walk in the park
- Enjoy nature. Go hiking, camping, or picnicking
- Being near water brightens my mood- whether a river, a lake a pond, or the ocean. In a pinch, a water fountain will do
- Go swimming
This is a beautiful example of choosing our day's mood:
- Choose Your Day's Colors
Prose & poetry based on a precious moment when my grown granddaughter was 6 & in a 'dark' mood, but responded favorably to a suggestion that her day could be colored brighter by choice.
- Take a hot bubble bath
- Pamper yourself
- A good scent can turn your mood around. Burn a candle, bake an apple pie, brew coffee, or put on some lovely scented lotion or cologne
- Do some gardening, even if it is only in pots indoors
- Breathe in the scent of flowers as you pass them
- Buy yourself flowers, or a plant
- Productivity can sometimes make you feel better
- Create something with your own two hands- that can be a great feeling. Whether it be an arts and crafts project, putting photos in an album, painting a bookshelf, woodworking, building a car, sewing- whatever floats your boat. The simple act of making something can make you feel good
- Treat yourself to some comfort food- something that you take great pleasure out of eating
- If there is a beverage that boosts your spirits or provides you great enjoyment, have some. If it is alcoholic or caffeinated, don't overdo it (that could backfire, and leave you unhappier than when you started out)
- Go to a little café, and relax there for a while
- Get out, and people watch
- Go on a vacation, or a day trip
- Explore the area you live in, and find new spots that you have never been to
- Change your routine a little
- Watch a sunrise or a sunset
- Watch a moonrise, or gaze at the stars
- Watch a thunderstorm (from a safe place)
- Play games
- Daydream, without giving in to negative thoughts
- Reminisce about good times
- Live in the moment
- Practice meditation
Sources of Happiness
What makes you the most happy?
Critters Can Be Comforting
Click thumbnail to view full-size- Smile like a madman or woman! It's hard to be sad when you're smiling
- Smile at someone else- not only will a genuine smile boost your mood, but maybe you will make the other person happy, at least for a moment
- Do something for someone else
- Listen to someone else, without listening to your own thoughts during that time. Be there for them in their time of need or happiness
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." ~ Mark Twain
Enjoy the Little Things
-
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." ~ Robert Brault
"Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is." ~ Maxim Gorky
- "Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it." ~ William Feather
- "The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things." ~ Ernest Dimnet
Good Advice I Have Received
I have had so many inspiring things said to me, but here are a couple of things that my brother said that struck a chord with me.
- Look at photos that inspire you- silly things that make you happy- people that you know, or celebrities, places you'd like to go- something to distract you, and make you smile
- Allow yourself to sulk for 10 minutes at a time- life is too short, and 10 minutes is more than enough time to waste on being depressed
~ Michael Stratford
JamiJay's Inspirational Post
- Live Your Life for You
Always live the life you desire the most. let go of negativity, and follow your dreams. Live your life for you, and stop living your life for other people in order to find pure bliss and inner peace.
Faith Reaper's Hub on Happiness
- Smiles That Hide Our Pain
What is truly hidden behind a smile? A poem and article on the pain sometimes hidden behind a lovely smile when no one is even aware that someone may be hurting, despite the smile on one's face.
Just Smile!
A Peppy Song To Brighten Your Mood
Fascinating Articles on Happiness
- Happiness Defined: Your Interpretations Of What It Means To Experience Joy (PHOTOS)
Happiness, as the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it, is "a state of well-being and contentment." Sure, that's one way to put it. But what does it really mean to feel on top of the world or entirely at peace with oneself? - What is happiness? | This Emotional Life
What is happiness? The answer is subjective, but Psychologist Ed Diener says it's a combination of life satisfaction and having more positive emotions than negative emotions. There are three basic sources of happiness, and some people tend to be happ - 10 Easy Activities Science Has Proven Will Make You Happier Today — PsyBlog
A thankful message, spending on others, listening to music, happy daydreams and more… - 4 Dark Sides To The Pursuit of Happiness — PsyBlog
Fake smile? Here’s how to avoid four hurdles on the road to happiness.
Feel Free To Comment
Great article!
I know you haven't been on for awhile but I want to let you know I enjoy reading your hubs many times. They get me through the tough patches.
Great read..I totally agree that we need to experience the bad to appreciate the good in life..I also think we can achieve real happiness simply by changing the way we think and how we respond to situations in our lives..wishing happiness to all..=)
Wonderful article, it's true many people don't count their blessings ! And I always buy myself flowers, such a good boost for a little price ;)
I also needed to read your hub this day. You have a lot of encouraging words. You helped me with the passing of my friend Marylou and so did a lot of other Hubpages friends to which I am grateful for all their advice. In 9/11 my Father passed away married to my Mom for 67 years and she has Alzeimers. I have also lost my job. But I am not writing this for your pitty. I am writing this to say I am happy,healthy and strong, to have new beginnings, new opportunities and new challenges. No one likes a big challenge more than me. I am a fighter and I will make it and so will you @Kathryn Stratford. Make 2016 your best year ever, I am going to:) As long as we have our health we have inside us what we need to keep going.
Wonderful and inspirational hub, thanks for these tips, especially important during the cold winter months when we are indoor more and there is no sun to boost us!
a stress buster hub indeed
I will definitely be coming back to this hub whenever am sad or down. I wish I had seen this last month when I was struggling in my new work environment with nagging co-workers and a stressful boss. I usually listen to soothing music whenever am down or sad but the suggestions you have are just amazing. Thanks for sharing. Voted up and shared as interesting awesome and just plain beautiful
Hi,
Whenever the sad little girl in me wants to dwell in the gloomy past, I make her come out in the sunshine and smile. The sunshine of love from others helps me to smile and slowing I feel the happiness bubbling inside like a great blanket of love has covered and warmed my heart; then I am ready for the world once again.
Your happiness will glow from within, and spread to your ever awakening hours; until you will no longer need to think about it, because you will be happy once again. Your spirit will soar as you count your blessings. I send you happy thoughts and beautiful dreams. And, I wish you the very best in your future career.
Bobbi Purvis
Life is so short, so fragile, and such a gift...wasting it on something other than being happy is losing time to be exulted.
This is such a well done piece of writing...I hope that many stop and read and learn...
Angels are on the way this morning. ps Shared and voted up up and away
Good positive thinking :-) You have two more days in your weekend :-)))
Good luck with your move next week!
Joelle
Very nice hub, Kathryn! I agree with your brother.... 10 minutes is more than enough time to waste on being depressed. But it's easy for someone else to say when they are not in your shoes. I went through several difficult times in my life... and it was always because of the same person (my mother).... but on the other hand, all that time, I was blessed with a very kind husband and 2 very nice children. At one point, I realized that I was the one who allowed her to take that away from me; it's a matter of perception. So instead of concentrating on something that I can never have because it doesn't depend from me, I try very hard to concentrate on the nice things in my life. It changed my life :-)
I sincerely hope that you are in a beautiful place now :-)
Have a wonderful weekend :-)
Voted up, interesting and awesome!
PS : I love your pictures :-) And I love cats :-))) I have two of them!
Thanks, Kathryn,
I agree, Carol is an amazing person. I am humbled in the light of her generosity of spirit.
A year ago, my sister was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer. The doctors gave her only 2 months if she didn't get chemo and radiation, two years if she did. She opted for the treatments because she wanted to be around to help her grandchildren. The treatments worked even better than the doctors expected and now she is looking at the probability of going back to work.
What I admire most about her whole ordeal was the fact that she stayed positive throughout. She always had a smile, even when she was in pain. She always encouraged others to look at the bright side and to appreciate every day as though it were our last.
I learned from her that happiness is all about perspective. We can laugh or we can cry. We hate our lives or we can love it. It is all in how we chose to see it.
Lovely to spend some good time with parents. Glad you enjoyed it all. Hope your weekend's good too. Ann
This is wonderful kathryn, however hard the times get this will surely be a great read to cheer us up, we need to be positive and your hub really shows that its possible, amazing. nell
This is such a great hub. I love the positivity and all those brilliant quotes you've included. Impossible not to feel inspired by this. Just look at the response and the support you have - bet that makes you feel happy! I hope so because you certainly do deserve to be. Music makes me happy and so does being with my loved ones, amongst many other things; you've come up with so many alternatives to help others that no one can be unhappy after this! Well done indeed. Will look out for more from you. All best wishes to you, Kathryn. Ann
Sound advice, my friend and judging from all the comments, you've struck a chord. May peace and light always guide your days even when you enter those times - as we all do - that are most unhappy because, you're right: it really makes us appreciate what happiness is. :)
I couldn't resist the chance to bring more happiness in my life . Now I am doing cartwheels in the sun.Well at least in my mind . Have a beautiful day.
Finding Happiness During Hard Times makes me think of my hard times and how I found my happiness there is something or someone to give you happiness just look forward to seeing that person or performing that task, to feel good again. Interesting and a useful hub
It really can be difficult to be happy during hard times. These are great ideas to get out of a funk.
Very nicely written! I like how you put everything together in a variety of info....thanks for the nice read :) voted up and useful
I am going throught some hard times at work and I tend to forget simply things which makes me happy. Sometimes I lock myself in my own self and thinking Why nobody sees me. Sometimes I am just showing it too much How depressed I am which affects others and preventing them to connect with me. Your article inspires me to think of How to keep happy. Thank you so much for saring :-)
Great hub! Definitely not for someone who wants to be miserable. That's the other thing--you have to WANT to be happy. Some people actually like being miserable. They say that they don't, but they wallow in it and don't take action to change how they feel each day. I know what's it's like to be sad for a good reason and even to be uncontrollably depressed, but I also know how to combat those feelings. Personally, I prefer to be happy so I work very hard at it. I remove the things from my life that cause me unhappiness. I exercise which is a natural mood lifter. I listen to sad songs and cry to get the feelings out and then I listen to happy songs and smile to overcome the sadness. I do that deliberately like musical therapy. It works for me. I also focus on thinking positively, having gratitude, and taking joy in the little things. I believe that happiness can be a choice we make. It's not easy sometimes when circumstances are hard, but what in life is easy anyway?
It is nice to see how many people are reading this topic...
It is sad to see how many people are lacking directions and think the secrets and wisdom of life can be passed through "how to manuals"...
Kathryn, great article and resource. Valuable information, happiness is very valuable. If it could be bought, I bet people would jump. There's a lot of different ways to find happiness. The hard part, finding that happiness. Harder then that, keeping that happiness. This is great information and tips Kathryn. Personally, I find happiness in success. It doesn't matter in what, just that I obtained it. I'm addicted to making money, it's just the way I'm wired. I don't envy money, but we all need it. It's great that you mentioned those who have encouraged you through your Hubpage experience also, well done. Voted up, useful, awesome, interesting, and shared on FB.
A wonderful hub about Happiness and how we can achieve it!
My idea to remain Happy is, to Count the good things I have, primarily my loved ones, who always stand by me in hard times and happy times.
As Mahatma Gandhi said that whenever you feel you are sad or unhappy, look at the person who is more unhappy and in a more sad state of affairs than you.
Happiness and unhappiness are two sides of the same coin and will come and go in our lives, till we live. They are part of our lives.
A very well written hub indeed! The quotes are very inspiring.
Thanks for sharing!
Loved your thoughts and attitudes on the topic of happiness. For them who've to live always with stubborn, negative-minded people happiness would be doomed. The list of things you've mentioned here is wonderful and "may your life be filled with gay and enjoyment all ahead"!
Humans are in the quest of happiness, but happiness is not eternal. There is always the shadow of unhappiness in happiness. We have to be happy with what we have and not what we want.
Thank you for reminding me to remember. One sentence sums up an exercise I have done to relieve sadness and the "What ifs."
•Allow yourself to sulk for 10 minutes at a time- life is too short, and 10 minutes is more than enough time to waste on being depressed
When I have done this exercise in the past, not only are the remaining 50 minutes of the hour ones of gratitude, but it spills into the next.
Hi Kathryn,
Sooo sorry to hear about your breakup. Glad that you have found aspects of your life that bring you comfort. Even in a relationship that lasts, there are little hurts that we must help ourselves to recover from. This hub is so phenomenally useful that I voted it up, awesome, beautiful, and "pinned."
I can relate to the comfort of being outdoors, too....and listening to music that lifts my spirits (like my Celtic music radio shows on Saturday afternoons)...and comfort food (dark chocolate kisses).
If you'd like to, you are welcome to spend a day with my daughter and I out here in Central Mass,, especially during leaf peeping season. I cold pick you up at a commuter rail station, and bring you back at the end of the day, of course. ~:0) If so, we can work out the details via email
Thinking of you with a smile,
Karen
These are good ways to make us happy during the hardest time of our lives. Writing is indeed a good therapy in times of hardships. I can relate to what you have felt. The quotes are very inspiring. Thanks for sharing. Voted up and shared.
Kathryn,
I found this hub kind of by accident but, the title caught my eye. For the past 2 years I have been struggling with personal problems that all stemmed from being laid off at a job that I had been at for 4 years and had no intentions of leaving. I had actually hoped to work there until the doctor retired. It is always hurtful and quite personal to be laid off from a job that you enjoy. Then financial trouble, relationship issues...it just keeps building. I have been telling myself for 2 years that it's going to get better.
It does help to know that other people are down and struggling (although I don't wish it on anyone) but, it helps to know that we are not alone.
I read your hub and I do every one of those things that you suggested. I don't know if you have "Dollar Tree" where you live but, when I got divorced, I knew I wouldn't have a lot of extra money for entertainment. They have great books for $1.00. Most of which would sell in a book store for $20.00 or more (some less).
I find that music and food tend to be my sanctuary. I usually combine the two. I will turn up my music and find a new recipe to try to get in the kitchen. That is GREAT therapy for me.
I too follow Billybuc and really enjoy reading his hubs and I have found that we share the same opinions most of the time. I voted your hub interesting and awesome and Up of course. I am going to pin it to my pinterest board and to my facebook page. In this day and time everyone needs encouragement if even for a moment. Who knows who this might help??
Thank you for taking the time to write this. I copied some quotes that I am going to keep close to me.
Sincerely,
Leslie :)
thank you for all this good suggestions.
Found this by simply "hub hopping" and very well thought out and great tips for trying to choose happiness even when it isn't easy. I just joined this site yesterday...hope you'll stop by!
Fantastic hub! I love what you have said. Happiness is never constant. But it can be easily found again. Through the hard times, I have found that writing is one my favorite pick-me ups.
Well my Kathryn of Kool I found happiness when I found you.
And I am finding it once again while reading your definitive and most essential guide to happiness itself but you are so right in saying that it's very subjective like food and music and everyone has their own interpretation of it. I knew you were a 'relatively' happy person by nature from the first hub I've ever read by you because you had such a wonderful and enthusiastic attitude for life and living and people.
And it contagious because I would say you have made me a better person just by knowing you. Thanks for the memories as Bob Hope used to sing - it's a great song and you're a great lady, friend and writer too.
Sending to you 3 big hugs from the cats and I.
7:28pm
p.s. - I am spreading the happiness over to my FB page with a link and a post
I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through hard times. My husband and I have also been going through some as we have financial problems which is tough when you have children.
In your hub you have found great tips to find happiness during hard times. I wish that you will find happiness again as you really deserve the best in your life. A wonderful hub.
Useful article and very fine tips these, Kathryn. Wonderful ways in which we can combat this state of mind. I find music to be a great soother.
Sharing this here and on G+1. Voted up, useful and interesting.
Just the article to read when feeling a bit down.
Oh dearest Kathrine,
It seems it has been a season for such sadness, and the trails of this life we must all face at times. I, too, have been going through some and had expressed such about happiness too.
I will be in prayer for you precious heart, and I do remember reading a couple of weeks ago on another hub about you going through such, and I am so sorry, for you deserve the best this life has to offer for you are such a beautiful person inside and out, so intelligent and genuine.
It does pain my heart to know of your sadness. You have written a wonderful hub of great advice as to attaining happiness, which I would really love to link to my latest hub, if you do not mind? As it would be just perfect and compliment it so very well.
For me, when times get really tough, as they have been here of late, all I can do is place my faith and trust in my sweet Lord God to deliver me from such trials and He always does, and I am the stronger for such. Of course I love listening to music and reading too. Sometimes, it is just good to get in the shower away from all, and just let it all out there. And I love going to a quiet place just to myself to reflect and pray and that gives me much peace about all.
Voted up ++++ and sharing
Much hugs and love, Faith Reaper
I found myself ready to pass this article because my mood was good and ripe. It is something about a situation that makes you look at staying in a positive mood. Great writing. Wonderful article.
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