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How can I overcome low self-esteem?

Updated on November 21, 2018
jacobkuttyta profile image

A freelance writer since 2011 and has been graduated from Indira Gandhi National Open University, Delhi, India

low self esteem
low self esteem

How to overcome low self-esteem?

I have found one service which is available everywhere on this earth. If you can find a human being in a place, then you will find this service. Only men can provide this service. The thing is that it is not only available everywhere, but it is also absolutely free. It is available 24 hours a day & 7 days a week. It doesn't matter whether you are young or old, rich or poor, educated or non-educated, intelligent or unintelligent, male or female, this service is available for you absolutely free of cost. This service is available from parents, teachers, siblings, coaches, relatives, spouses, co-workers, enemies, friends, rivals and all the people you encounter in your day to day life. It is available from the very beginning of your life till to the end of your life. You may be wondering what is this service. It is none other than the Criticism.

Generally accepted psychological research statistic says that by the time one reaches the age of 18, s/he was told "No" about 150000 times and continually told them that they are not good as others. They were told that they are too tall, too fat, stupid, ugly, lazy, too slow, careless, too skinny, too short, less smart than others etc. It makes them think that they are exactly the same as told over and over again.

We often expect far more from others than we expect from ourselves. That is why we criticize others even though we are not perfect.

Many times we find ourselves doing the same mistake. We try to hide it. Because we do not want it to be exposed. But when someone else messes up with the same mistake, we are ready with the jeers.

Beware of the people who want to knock you down

When you are having happiness or success or feeling good about yourself, what do others around you'll do often? They are there to knock you down.

When you are having bad times or feeling bad about yourself, they'll do the same thing. They are there to knock you further down. They will remind you of all that you have done wrong in the past.

I read about a story of a woman who had met her childhood friend after a long time in the bus stop while she was returning from her work. They were very happy to meet again. Her friend was on a short visit to that city and will be returning back to her city the next day. So they decided to spend some time in the coffee house as they have many things to share which they experienced in the past years. They seated comfortably in a corner of the coffee house to share good and bad things happened in their life. They were talking about many things and were ignorant about the time. They spend a few hours talking about their marriage, kids and career etc. When they realize they were too late, they decided to leave and exchanged their telephone numbers for keep in touch with each other.

The next day when the friend who was visiting the city called up to know the reaction of her friend's husband for reaching home too late. Her friend replied "He was very angry and got Historian"

The friend thought that her friend mistakenly said: "Historian" instead of "Hysterical".

To clarify that her friend again asked: "Has he got Hysterical?"

Then the replay came. "No, I said he got "historian" then she explained "I meant it! Historian" he started to remind me of all the bad things I have done from the very first day of our marriage. And they both laughed.

Many times in our life, it will happen. People who are close to us, constantly remind us of the things which went wrong.

We don't get a pat on our back for a job well done, no good feelings for your success. No encouragement. Only hits where it hurts.

That is why many of us feel bad about ourselves. We take all that "No's" and "you cant's" and "you are not good enough's", which we've heard many times in our life and internalize them. We believe it.

Ways to increase our self-esteem


Then, even though we are doing good, we don't feel good about ourselves.

Then, when we get a pat or a compliment, we immediately think either "I am not that good" or "what do they want from me?" Something is up, that is why they are appreciating!

The negative appreciation that we received in the past made us think like that.

Television increases the damage. In every scene we see impossibly good-looking people living or working in amazingly beautiful places. And we believe that there are people who are faster, productive, smarter, intelligent, stronger, better and more beautiful than us.

The end result is low self-esteem.

How many of us are happy about ourselves. Happy about the way we live, the way we work, the way we talk, the way we behave, the way we live our life, the relationship we have, the works we do.

A shift in what we listen and see can boost our self-esteem.

Encouraging words, appreciation, love, respect etc. can make us feel good and comfortable. One of the best ways to boost your self-esteem is to repeatedly say to yourself some self-empowering words like:

~-* I'm doing what I love and I love what I do
~-* I look for fun in everything and I find it
~-* I am fueled by the desire to be the best that I can be
~-* It is natural for me to set and achieve my goals.
~-* My creative mind is the foundation of my success.
~-* I recognize and use my strengths and skills to reach all my goals.
~-* I enjoy taking daily steps to turn my dreams into reality

These are some examples. You can create your own words according to your needs and repeat that words. Saying these words repeatedly to yourself will help to flow the energy into your life.

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