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The Secret of Life: The Third Secret

Updated on June 19, 2013

LOOKING FOR ALL OF THE ANSWERS

Well, of course, we may never find them all, but that certainly does not prevent many of us from continuing the search.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine….Rolly is his name….and he was saying that he has spent a good portion of his life searching for answers. In truth, so have I! While others in high school and college were out on the town having fun, I was in my room staring at the ceiling and hoping to find the secrets of the universe.

A funny thing happened to me six years ago. I discovered that the answers to my seemingly endless questions were all inside of me.

I have this habit of complicating matters. Someone once told me, many years ago, that I could make a typhoon out of a glass of water. I love that description, and it was quite accurate with regards to me. What I have finally discovered is that life really is not that complicated. I think many out there want it to be complicated, because that gives them an excuse for being confused and aimless, but I do not believe life is complicated at all. Of course it is hard at times, but certainly its universal truths are not complicated.

And that is what we are discussing in this series, some universal truths about life. The first secret that was discussed was love; the second was productivity.

That brings us to the third secret of life and the third stepping stone to happiness: acceptance.

A man at peace with his life
A man at peace with his life | Source

ACCEPTANCE IS THREE-PRONGED

Acceptance is defined as the act of accepting, or of giving approval.

I think we can all live with that definition. Whenever I think of acceptance I think of the Serenity Prayer. It goes something like this: “God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”

So let’s take a closer look at this process of acceptance. I believe acceptance is necessary in three facets of our life: acceptance of ourselves; acceptance of others; and acceptance of the fact that we are not in control of everything in life.

ACCEPTANCE OF OURSELVES

It begins and ends with us!

Without acceptance of who and what we are, there can be no self-love, and without self-love there can be no inner-peace or happiness.

Who are you? Describe yourself, and please, do it in a positive manner. It is time to toss away the yoke of self-loathing and realize that you are the rarest of creation, because there is only one of you. Never before has there been another like you, and never again will there be another like you.

Stop looking at all the things you are not, and rejoice in all the things that you are.

I’m too short! I’m too tall! I am too skinny or I am too fat! If only my breasts were larger or if only my nose was a little shorter….if only, if only, if only, blah, blah, blah. Do you see what sick and twisted thinking that is? You are who you are, so embrace it and use it to your advantage. Instead of thinking of your supposed deficiencies, think about the multitude of assets that you have.

Stop with the botox injections. Stop with the nights of crying yourself to sleep because you are not like others. Stop with the wishing and hoping that you were someone different.

Begin today! Make a list of your gifts and then build upon them. Write a list of your imagined deficiencies and then burn it.

I must learn to accept others for who they are
I must learn to accept others for who they are | Source

ACCEPTANCE OF OTHERS

Black, white, yellow, brown, rich, poor, employed, unemployed, Catholic, Buddhist, Jewish and Atheist; Democrat, Republican, Green, or Communist; there are enough differences between us all to keep us all in ammunition should we feel the need to attack each other. Judging from the news that we hear daily, news of hatred and intolerance, there are quite a few people who feel that these differences are important.

I’ve got a news flash for you: it is all b.s.!

It is my belief that there are many more commonalities between us than there are differences, and the sooner we find common ground the better off society will be. In addition, the sooner we accept the common ground the sooner we will be able to find our own serenity.

It’s exhausting trying to force people to believe what we believe, don’t you think? I have only to go to Facebook and watch the attempts there of others who try to convince me to vote the way they do, to love the way they do, and to believe in a god of their choosing, to realize that this is how wars start.

How about if we all just take a deep breath and allow others to live their lives while we do the best job of living ours? Wouldn’t that be infinitely more peaceful?

I know family members who do not talk to each other because of political or religious differences. Am I the only one who sees that as insanity?

Accept others! You just might find greater serenity and happiness in your own lives.

There is great peace in accepting life as it comes
There is great peace in accepting life as it comes | Source
True words
True words | Source

I AM NOT GOD!

Nor, as a matter of fact, do I want to be. J

And yet how many do you know who are not happy unless they are trying to control each and every circumstance of their life? How exhausting is that?

I have another news flash for you: there are quite a few things in life that are completely out of our control. I cannot control the weather; I’d love to have a few less rainy days, but I sure don’t lose any sleep over it. I cannot control the economy, and I sure can’t control whether my garbage gets picked up on time or which day it is picked up. I can’t control hunger, homelessness, or bigotry. Of course I can do what I am capable of doing regarding those issues, but I am only one man with a limited amount of influence on the world.

So the key is to realize what I can control and let go of the rest. I have to or I would end up a babbling idiot with no peace whatsoever.

I am not the director of life. It is not my job to tell others how to act; it is not my job to right every wrong, nor is it my job to make sure that humanity conforms to my view of life. Quite frankly, if it were my job to do all of those things, I would mess it up. I think it’s best if I don’t even try.

Sit with me and let's chat

WRAPPING IT ALL UP

So there you have the third secret of life, to live with acceptance of ourselves, others, and circumstances.

Of course, the choice is yours and yours alone. You can continue to be unhappy with yourselves, and keep making changes to who you are in hopes that one day you will fit in, or stand out, or somehow find peace in unneeded change.

You can continue to be unhappy with others, and try to change them and their actions and beliefs, all the while standing upon what you believe to be the moral high ground.

You can continue to beat your heads against the wall and try to change everything around you, seeking the perfect set design that will please the omnipotent stage director inside of you.

Or you can simply live a life of acceptance.

Yes, the choice is yours and yours alone.

2013 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

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    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      Agreed. We have to accept ourselves as we are, others as who they are and no one should try to assume the role of the One Up there when they are not.Something for us to remember!!

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Strange Bill that I read this as my own life is going slightly off kilter! Isn't it weird that when life drops a few little unexpected 'bombs' in your vicinity that the self-examination really begins! I wish it didn't but hey ho. Your article has made me feel a bit happier that I am probably normal but that I also need to get hold of the situation, externalise it, allow some time and then get on with it!

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Bill, yet again I can't but say, you summed it up perfectly. In order to be happy one does need to not only accept themselves the way they are, but to accept others, too. I learned this lesson a few years back, because there was a time I wasn't always so happy with myself, but now I have learned that I am who I am. Not to say I can't improve or learn from my own mistakes, but I do fundamentally accept myself for just being me. And as for others, I was raised by my mother to look for the good in all and that is exactly what I do in my life. So, I thank god for my mother, because she truly is the person that I credit for teaching me so many of life's lessons. Thanks for this Bill and you know I have voted up and shared all over!!

    • rmcleve profile image

      Rachael Cleveland 4 years ago from Woodbridge, VA

      Love this, billybuc! I agree completely that acceptance is three-pronged, and also that it takes a long time to come to terms with that knowledge. My difficulty is in finding the balance between accepting and letting go a little too much. I'll find the balance, and regular contemplation brought on by your hubs helps me do so. Thanks for writing! :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michelle, it is exhausting trying to control everything. Life is so much better with acceptance as the guiding light.

      Thank you my friend and have a great weekend.

    • rfmoran profile image

      Russ Moran 4 years ago from Long Island, New York

      Lovely hub Bill. I am reminded of a Chinese painting in which the translation of the characters was: "Happiness: I don't want this." In other words, to find happiness don't actively WANT it (by changing things), just accept life as it comes.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Julie, isn't that the way it always is? I've found it to be true for me; I've spent a great amount of time with self-examination. Some of it was good; some of it was harmful....well, the exam was always good, but how I responded to it not always so. :) Best of luck with your problem, and thank you!

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Fantastic Bill. Really inspirational. I do accept myself and my life and as long as the Lord is a part of it I am truly a happy camper. If you haven't seen it on FB then interestingly enough carol777 posted a great hub on moon signs and I discovered that I am part of a really great crowd as per this sentence from my moon sign - The fish - moons, Leonardo da Vinci, Goethe and Michelangelo not only could benefit from their rich fantasy but also their talent for logical thinking. Now with me being Pisces and all this great company who wouldn't be a happy individual. Passing your super hub on.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Janine, these are hard lessons to learn. The fact that you have learned them at a young age speaks volumes about you and your mother. Well done, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being here.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      rmcleve, it is always that balance that we should seek, but man oh man is it hard to attain at times. :) Thank you for your kind words; you are appreciated by little old me.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Russ, what a great example of the truth. Seeking happiness seems like such a waste of time; it will come to you if you are open to it. Thank you for that!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Gypsy, I'll take a look at Carol's work shortly. Thank you! I am so happy that you accept yourself....not an easy thing to do, but oh so worth it.

      Have a wonderful weekend!

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Excellent writing and truly a truth. If I say the serenity prayer every morning and night, at least I have a chance at acceptance. Thank you St. Francis and Billybuc

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Very, very true. Yet we continue to judge and mi st often, judge ourselves the hardest. Great hub, Bill. As always, spot on! Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Eric, each and every day starts with that prayer, and each and every night ends with it. I tend to be a very slow learner. :) Thank you my friend and have a great weekend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Oh Randi, without a doubt we judge ourselves the hardest. I've struggled with that for decades.

      Thank you my friend and enjoy your weekend.

    • poojasd7 profile image

      poojasd7 4 years ago from India

      A soulful write-up,Billy! Acceptance is the way to remain cool and enjoy the life. Sometimes, accepting each and every thing for whatever it is, can lead to complacency. And it, in turn, leads to a stagnant point. It becomes difficult to live with such point. Also, going to an extreme to being unacceptable about each and every thing can really be harmful. One needs to understand where to strike the balance about when to accept the things as they are or begin in changing them for better.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well, Pooja, you are quite the philosopher this morning, and so very wise for your age. Yes, balance is always the key to life. Thank you young lady; I hope you have a wonderful weekend in India! Why don't you come to the United States and visit all of you HP friends here. :)

    • onegreenparachute profile image

      Carol 4 years ago from Greenwood, B.C., Canada

      This was a very good read for me this morning. I've realized lately just how much I need Acceptance in my life. Acceptance of the past - if you can believe it. There are so many scenarios that I go over and over in my mind and no matter how many times I relive the scenes - nothing changes. Fancy that. Me, trying to change the past. Talk about a futile exercise!! My thanks again Bill.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

      I think many of us tend to over analyze everything..that is me. Must be my Virgo moon sign. You are so right..living can be simple and we all make it complicated one time or another. I am going to have a simple day today...Really. Great hub and as always you are always on first base.

    • poojasd7 profile image

      poojasd7 4 years ago from India

      Sure,Bill! :-)

      I will visit US one day(hopefully in near future) and we all shall have a great gathering! :-)

      Have a great weekend! :-)

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      Hi, Bill

      My greatest failing in the acceptance area is in the ME department. I am still a work in progress in that area for sure.

      You are so right....accept what we cannot change, change what we can...the Serenity Prayer does get the message across to us.

      These secrets really will change our lives if we allow them to.

      As always I am inspired after reading here...

      have a lovely 25th day of the new year.

      Sending you those precious Angels to watch over you and yours. :) ps

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      onegreen, if you figure out how to change the past, let me know please! LOL You could be an overnight millionaire.

      Thank you for the honest comment. Have a great weekend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Carol, you used a baseball analogy! I'll listen to anyone who uses a baseball analogy. :) Thank you my friend and have a great weekend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Pooja; you have a great weekend as well. I look forward to meeting you one day.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      PS, for me it was either learn acceptance or die. Seemed like a pretty good idea for me to learn it facing those choices. :) Thank you my friend. The rains have ended and we are left with chill and the hope of a springtime soon to arrive. Have a great weekend and I'm holding tight to those angels.

      hugs and blessings coming your way from Olympia

      bill

    • Mr Archer profile image

      Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

      I have always loved the Serenity Prayer. And while it may be hard to put into practice everyday, still I find it calming. Very well done, Bill. You do have a way of putting into words exactly what we need to hear.

    • sarahshuihan profile image

      Sarah 4 years ago from USA

      This is a great hub. I think people will be happier and less angry if they just accepted the fact that they can't control everything. Having expectations leads to too many disappointments.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mike, it has always had a calming effect on me. :) Thank you for your kind words; I'm just speaking the truth and hoping others listen.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sarah, you just hit on the key....expectations rarely have anything to do with reality, and the sooner we realize that the better. It's a maddening thing to try and control everything. :) Thank you!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 4 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Bill - We should write a book together - as you have mentioned before, we are on the exact same path and our articles could be written interchangeably by each other. :) Another remarkable hub that I will add to my own similar hubs. Voted up and across and sharing with Twtr, FB and more. Hugs.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Audrey, I automatically gravitate to people who share similar thoughts on life, and I knew early on that you were one such person. It's a pleasure being your friend; maybe some day we can meet as friends and toast to our happiness. Thank you!

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      Awesome message bill, it is so much less stressful if we can just accept life as it is. This does not mean we can not try to improve things, but do it in a way that is reasonable.

      Mark

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

      I agree with Curiad, there is always room for improvement but we love our brother in spite of imperfection and hope he does the same for us. Great write.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mark, nicely stated. We always try to improve, but we also have to realize there are things completely out of our control.

      Thanks for the visit, buddy, and I hope your weekend is a good one.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jackie, indeed! I'm willing to bet there are imperfections in all of us. Recognizing that fact will go a long way towards us all getting along together in the future.

      Thank you Jackie and have a wonderful weekend.

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Wonderful bits of inspiration Bill. I see you have been hard at work here and I am so proud of your success. Rolly is a wonderful friend of mine as well xx

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Christy! I'm pretty sure your views blow mine out of the water, but I love the relationships I've formed here on HP and those are priceless.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 4 years ago from California

      Such a great hub Bill--I love your writing--sharing this one!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Audrey! That means a lot to me!

    • Mary Merriment profile image

      Mary Merriment 4 years ago from Boise area, Idaho

      I have been wanting to write an article like this for so long. I have all the right thoughts stirring in my mind, but you have put the words together so perfectly. Thank you!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Embrace your differences and those of others. Then seek out others that you can learn from and who are willing to do the same with you. You will soon broaden your horizons and become richer in your life.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Great article Bill..Acceptance, live and let live, roll with the flow..Etc..

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 4 years ago from United States

      Fantastic article. I agree fully about the importance of acceptance. Misery is only optional. :-)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well thank you, Mary! When you get those thoughts sorted out I'm sure it will be a great article.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Deb, that is perfectly stated. Thank you and have a great weekend. See you at Boomer Lake on Sunday!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Ruby! One more for you....Let go, let God! :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Pamela! I had someone take offense once about my saying that misery is optional. I still believe it. :)

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      "I discovered that the answers to my seemingly endless questions, were all inside of me."..........

      And oh what a glorious moment it is!.....The light comes through, the angels start singing, our mind opens up and our heart takes wing......It's damned MIRACLE...that's what it is!.UP+++

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, I'm not sure I can add to that....it's a damn MIRACLE indeed my friend! There is nothing quite like the sound of angels singing from within. :) Have a great weekend my friend!

    • sen.sush23 profile image

      Sushmita 4 years ago from Kolkata, India

      "How about if we all just take a deep breath and allow others to live their lives while we do the best job of living ours?"..Billybuc, this is the one question I cannot give up asking and not accepting a negative for answer! It seems so obvious, if you sit quitely and think about it; seems like the art and logic of this should be as transparent to everybody (as it is to you) and yet for centuries- it does not happen. It seems you have taken on the job to change thinking patterns through your articles. I hope more and more young people read these hubs. Voted up. Sharing.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sen.sush, I will never understand it myself, but as long as people insist on trying to change people I will keep writing about it. :) Thank you my friend!

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is another hub that contains a lot of wisdom, Bill. Acceptance is hard for many people, but it's important.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this. Before I got sick I could accept I was one of the best ritualists in freemasonry. I could accept the Lord walked with me.

    • phoenix2327 profile image

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      There is something so comforting about reading own of your hubs. It's like having a secret place where you can read, contemplate and find some answers. It's calming here. :)

      BTW, I know what you mean about over-complicating things. I live inside my own head a lot and I am always questioning. It drives my manager crazy. Oh well, story of my life. As long as my family gets what I'm about it's all good.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Billy, this one is profound and beautiful, Yes, we should learn to embrace who we are, and celebrate our differences, it is one of the many things that makes this world such an amazing place.

      Imagine!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Sometimes one has to give in to know the other better, and it can be difficult if they don't accept each other, I know how I felt in a foreign country, being accepted was my toughest, apart from the language.

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      Highland Terrier 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

      Excellent message, I'm listening, lets hope others are as well.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Alicia! It was the hardest lesson for me to learn.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Martin....and now? Thank you for the insight!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      oops.....I meant to finish by saying as long as you are safe with your family it makes no difference what anyone else thinks.....thank you my friend and enjoy your weekend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jo, imagine indeed! How great would that be if we could all do that? Thank you Jo!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      DDE, I can just imagine moving to a foreign land and trying to be accepted. Great example of this hub. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Highland, it's always nice to see you my friend. Thanks for listening. Now we only have about seven billion more to convince. LOL

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      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      You make such a valid point, Bill. I find myself more and more saying "it is what it is". Life is too precious to fret over what you cannot change or stop from changing, for that matter. Once you accept and love who you are, and the same towards others, inner peace will be the guiding light.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, you said it as well as i did, and I thank you for that. Heck, you said it better than I did. LOL

      love,

      bill

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      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 4 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      Deep words Billy, but so enlightening. I like this sentence: "Stop looking at all the things you are not, and rejoice in all the things that you are."

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lastheart, it is so important, don't you think? Of course you do. Thank you!

    • lrc7815 profile image

      Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

      lol... a typhoon and a glass of water....guilty! Been there, done that, and I think...I'm over it. :-) I think it finally sunk in that I am not responsible for the world and I can express my opinion without expecting others to accept it. Self-examination has been a part of me for as long as I can remember and I've made all the mistakes a person can make. When I finally ACCEPTED that others have as much right to their opinions as I do, things began to fall into place. I am in love with life and this journey I am on. More importantly, I love sharing it with others who are still in the process of awakening. In other words, I am grateful to share this journey with you Bill. Every piece your write moves me in the direction I am focused on. Thank you for always moving us forward!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Oh, Linda, this lesson was a long time coming for this boy. I wanted the world to subscribe to my rules and follow my direction. Talk about a silly dream. I had to be knocked down several times before it dawned on me that nobody had appointed me God. Dammit! LOL

      Thanks, Kindred; I'll walk alongside you any day of the week.

    • sherrituck profile image

      Sherri Tuck 4 years ago from Virginia

      Self acceptance is so important. I learned this valuable lesson on my yoga mat. We can not accept the world around us until we can first open our hearts to the self.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sherri, that is a very smart yoga mat that you have. :) Thank you my friend.

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I think the fact, as you so aptly discern, Bill, that we are all unique does make life complicated. Human nature is complicated by the myriad of personalities, and many different perspectives on every conceivable topic. Universal peace would be simple were it not for our unique perspectives, control issues, neurosis, mental illness and all the things that hold individuals hostage. If the world ever attains what we claim to want above all else, that being peace, it will have to arrive on the words of your advise about acceptance of oneself first and then others.

      Thank you for a piece of awesomely thoughtful reading, Bill. Your inspirational words have the power to change the world, one person at a time.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Amy, here's a confession for you: I no longer believe universal peace is attainable. Those rose-colored glasses that I have worn for so long are now broken and sitting on the shelf. As for me changing the world...there are days I don't even know if that is possible. Quite frankly I am feeling a bit insufficient lately. :) I know you will understand that.

      Thank you dear lady! Love coming your way from Olympia

      bill

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I do understand, dear Bill, that despite a positive attitude, there are days that try even the most determined of us. I agree with you that universal peace is an ideal that, realistically, will never be. It is easy to see reality from within the walls of our own homes to those of the White House, and the streets where we live, our children's schools, and our churches, that our differences will never be completely bridged. We each hold onto our own lofty ideas without a willingness to compromise. It is hard to hold onto the ideology of peace when so many wars and so much blood has been, and continues to be shed in the name of religion. You are not alone, Bill.

      Love from St. Lou sent to you

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      "I AM NOT GOD!

      Nor, as a matter of fact, do I want to be.

      And yet how many do you know who are not happy unless they are trying to control each and every circumstance of their life? How exhausting is that?"

      Amen!

      The only thing we control is how we react to things in our every day life; and that includes how we perceive ourselves. Very wise words, Billy!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Amy, you give as good as you get. Thank you for not discounting my feelings. We spoke of this once before, with the roles reversed. I greatly appreciate what you wrote.

      love,

      bill

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Genna, thank you, and I know quite a few who are like you described. The controllers of the world have sealed their own fate....they will never be happy. You and I, however, are happy, and for that I am very grateful.

    • KoffeeFish profile image

      KoffeeFish 4 years ago from San Fernando City, La Union

      Thank you Bill.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you KoffeeFish!

    • healthylife2 profile image

      Healthy Life 4 years ago from Connecticut, USA

      Another amazing article! I think I was born accepting others but the other two are still a work in progress. Great advice to focus on the things I can do rather than how I am inadequate. I'm going to implement that one starting now. I have definitely improved on the accepting the things I can't change. Thanks so much for the tips to achieve happiness. I can never get enough of those.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      healthy, I think acceptance of these three things is one of the hardest lessons any of us has to learn. We all want to be in control, and there are times when that will never happen,and we just have to accept that fact and move on. I'm glad this helped you in some way.

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      Who are we to judge? We have the right to judge ourselves - and often - i find folks are terribly hard on themselves!

      If we can't accept ourselves - while still working every day to 'be better' - how will we accept others - and how will others accept us!

      Peace - like happiness - all begins with the man in the mirror - as you have said as only Billybuc can!

      let's open our minds and open our hearts to others - but give ourselves a hug a well - if not first and foremost!

      voting up and sharing forward my friend...

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Leslie, the toughest lesson I had to learn was to love myself and not judge myself so harshly. I've got my hands full just keeping track of my own shit on a daily basis; no time to do that for others.

      Thank you Sis!

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

      Bill....This is a great lesson for any and all control freaks. (Who--me???)

      Voted Up+++

      Jaye

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...Jaye, you aren't alone! I think I wrote this for myself.

      Thank you for the visit and I hope you are feeling better.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      I used to have a tendency to try and control things, but thankfully I realized that it is not what people need. It only makes you frantic and disappoints everyone. Your thougthts on loving yourself first is a big step for those who want to experience the best in life. As always, a very wise and well written article.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Dianna! This was the hardest lesson for me to learn; sure glad I did. :)

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      Releasing our control is a huge challenge for most people, but if we can ever manage it occasionally and see that "all is well," it becomes easier. I let go so much more the older I get. Wonderful hub, Billybuc!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pickles, indeed, the older I get the easier it is for me to relinquish control, and how cool is that? Thank you my friend. Nice to see you once again.

    • Ruby H Rose profile image

      Maree Michael Martin 4 years ago from Northwest Washington on an Island

      Acceptance is the key for sure. Wonderful hub, Billy. It sets us free to just know the truth, and live with it. With a happy heart even. Thumbs up and shared, so uplifting.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ruby, acceptance is the key to my happiness today. Without it I would still be floundering in life. Thank you for the second visit.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      Excellent Bill!

      As my sweet mother used to say, "Live and Let Live!"

      Voted up +++ and sharing

      Hugs and blessings your way, Faith Reaper

    • rosika profile image

      rosika 4 years ago

      That is the thing. Sometimes, or many times we forget it- to accept self and accept others and accept what is happening around and try not to change it, and that is because somethings cannot be changed.....thanks for reminding it to us Bill.

      voted up useful, beautiful!!!!!!!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Faith, your sweet mother had it exactly right.

      Thank you dear lady.

      blessings and love,

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rosika, thank you so much. It is a tough decision, trying to decide what to accept and what to allow....most of us struggle with that daily.

    • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

      Glimmer Twin Fan 4 years ago

      When I read this I immediately thought of the saying "it is what it is...". Not sure why yet, but now I will be thinking about this for a while. This is why I like to read your hubs Bill. Thanks.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Glimmer, I have always liked that simple saying. It is what it is and no amount of interference on my part will change that. :) Thank you and have fun thinking.

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Billy - I take great comfort in these hubs. They are chock full of insightful self reflection and I especially like the message to love ourselves. Not doing so stops su from truly loving and appreciating others.

      I am a klutz and I love this about me. It makes me unique and it has also derived some laughter for others when life had them feeling down.

      I am inpatient and because of this, I find many ways to do 100% thinks at once! Further instilling the klutz in me and multiplying the laughter.

      I truly enjoy this hub as it makes me see the parts of me I would initially consider negative. After further examination, they turn into positives.

      Great write my friend.

      Beckie XO

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Beckie, I love who you are, and I hope you never change the core of that person. Like you, there are parts of me that don't fit society's mode of "normal" and I'm fine with that. This is me....take it or leave it.

      Thank you my dear; have a great weekend and tell mom hello for me.

      love,

      billy

    • Jamie Brock profile image

      Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas

      You said it, Bill. The Serenity Prayer says it all.. I need to make that conscious in my mind daily. Once again, THANK YOU for the much needed reminder :) You keep reminding me of these things but it's up to me to actually DO something, right, LOL! It's all really simple. I heard in a meeting one time, if you want self-esteem then take esteemable actions.. Those little cliches are so important for me to keep in mind and apply in my daily life. I need to start writing them down! Hope you are having a great day :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jamie, all those cliches that I hated when I first started in AA now seem so profound. LOL Maybe that signals growth for me. I know I have to constantly be reminded of them. Thank you my friend and I hope you have a great weekend.

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