The Secret of Life: The Third Secret

Well, of course, we may never find them all, but that certainly does not prevent many of us from continuing the search.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine….Rolly is his name….and he was saying that he has spent a good portion of his life searching for answers. In truth, so have I! While others in high school and college were out on the town having fun, I was in my room staring at the ceiling and hoping to find the secrets of the universe.

A funny thing happened to me six years ago. I discovered that the answers to my seemingly endless questions were all inside of me.

I have this habit of complicating matters. Someone once told me, many years ago, that I could make a typhoon out of a glass of water. I love that description, and it was quite accurate with regards to me. What I have finally discovered is that life really is not that complicated. I think many out there want it to be complicated, because that gives them an excuse for being confused and aimless, but I do not believe life is complicated at all. Of course it is hard at times, but certainly its universal truths are not complicated.

And that is what we are discussing in this series, some universal truths about life. The first secret that was discussed was love; the second was productivity.

That brings us to the third secret of life and the third stepping stone to happiness: acceptance.

Acceptance is defined as the act of accepting, or of giving approval.

I think we can all live with that definition. Whenever I think of acceptance I think of the Serenity Prayer. It goes something like this: “God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”

So let’s take a closer look at this process of acceptance. I believe acceptance is necessary in three facets of our life: acceptance of ourselves; acceptance of others; and acceptance of the fact that we are not in control of everything in life.

It begins and ends with us!

Without acceptance of who and what we are, there can be no self-love, and without self-love there can be no inner-peace or happiness.

Who are you? Describe yourself, and please, do it in a positive manner. It is time to toss away the yoke of self-loathing and realize that you are the rarest of creation, because there is only one of you. Never before has there been another like you, and never again will there be another like you.

Stop looking at all the things you are not, and rejoice in all the things that you are.

I’m too short! I’m too tall! I am too skinny or I am too fat! If only my breasts were larger or if only my nose was a little shorter….if only, if only, if only, blah, blah, blah. Do you see what sick and twisted thinking that is? You are who you are, so embrace it and use it to your advantage. Instead of thinking of your supposed deficiencies, think about the multitude of assets that you have.

Stop with the botox injections. Stop with the nights of crying yourself to sleep because you are not like others. Stop with the wishing and hoping that you were someone different.

Begin today! Make a list of your gifts and then build upon them. Write a list of your imagined deficiencies and then burn it.

Black, white, yellow, brown, rich, poor, employed, unemployed, Catholic, Buddhist, Jewish and Atheist; Democrat, Republican, Green, or Communist; there are enough differences between us all to keep us all in ammunition should we feel the need to attack each other. Judging from the news that we hear daily, news of hatred and intolerance, there are quite a few people who feel that these differences are important.

I’ve got a news flash for you: it is all b.s.!

It is my belief that there are many more commonalities between us than there are differences, and the sooner we find common ground the better off society will be. In addition, the sooner we accept the common ground the sooner we will be able to find our own serenity.

It’s exhausting trying to force people to believe what we believe, don’t you think? I have only to go to Facebook and watch the attempts there of others who try to convince me to vote the way they do, to love the way they do, and to believe in a god of their choosing, to realize that this is how wars start.

How about if we all just take a deep breath and allow others to live their lives while we do the best job of living ours? Wouldn’t that be infinitely more peaceful?

I know family members who do not talk to each other because of political or religious differences. Am I the only one who sees that as insanity?

Accept others! You just might find greater serenity and happiness in your own lives.

Nor, as a matter of fact, do I want to be. J

And yet how many do you know who are not happy unless they are trying to control each and every circumstance of their life? How exhausting is that?

I have another news flash for you: there are quite a few things in life that are completely out of our control. I cannot control the weather; I’d love to have a few less rainy days, but I sure don’t lose any sleep over it. I cannot control the economy, and I sure can’t control whether my garbage gets picked up on time or which day it is picked up. I can’t control hunger, homelessness, or bigotry. Of course I can do what I am capable of doing regarding those issues, but I am only one man with a limited amount of influence on the world.

So the key is to realize what I can control and let go of the rest. I have to or I would end up a babbling idiot with no peace whatsoever.

I am not the director of life. It is not my job to tell others how to act; it is not my job to right every wrong, nor is it my job to make sure that humanity conforms to my view of life. Quite frankly, if it were my job to do all of those things, I would mess it up. I think it’s best if I don’t even try.

So there you have the third secret of life, to live with acceptance of ourselves, others, and circumstances.

Of course, the choice is yours and yours alone. You can continue to be unhappy with yourselves, and keep making changes to who you are in hopes that one day you will fit in, or stand out, or somehow find peace in unneeded change.

You can continue to be unhappy with others, and try to change them and their actions and beliefs, all the while standing upon what you believe to be the moral high ground.

You can continue to beat your heads against the wall and try to change everything around you, seeking the perfect set design that will please the omnipotent stage director inside of you.

Or you can simply live a life of acceptance.

Yes, the choice is yours and yours alone.

2013 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)