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The diary of a woman who quit smoking for good: Help me stop smoking

Updated on June 15, 2013

The night before the quit smoking date…..

A smoker

The night before my quit smoking date was pretty intense with a lot of preparation. I had so much to do and the quit date was soon arriving. I wanted to make sure that I had everything available to be successful on my quit date for smoking cigarettes. Time was ticking, and the moment to quit smoking was arriving. Fortunately, I gave myself a week to prepare for the quitting smoking date so I had all of my supplies ready.

When I chose my quit smoking date, I wanted to choose a date that I could devote all of my energy, my focus, and my attention to my quitting smoking goal, so I chose a Saturday because of my work schedule. I work Monday through Friday and I wanted to make sure I had at least the first two days devoted to quitting smoking and free from the stress of work that could potentially affect me from being successful.

As I prepared for my quit smoking date, I started to reminisce about the moment I became a smoker and how I got to this point in my life. How did I start smoking for so many years? How did I get to the point that I was addicted to cigarettes for almost two decades? So I started to look back at the years that I smoked and what made me continue to smoke even though smoking was bad for me.

How I became a smoker …..

Even though smoking cigarettes contributed to my health becoming worse, I did enjoy smoking. Even though they were considered a social taboo, an unhealthy habit, and they made me smell like a walking ashtray, I still smoked cigarettes for almost two decades. Smoking cigarettes were my favorite pastime, what I enjoyed while talking on the phone, after I ate, with my morning coffee, and whenever I could.

I started smoking in my late teenage years. My best friend and I were hanging out at her house. Her parents were smokers and she took a few cigarettes form their pack right before they left for their movie date. So we decided to experiment and smoke a few cigarettes. I knew this was wrong, but I wanted to try a cigarette.

That first cigarette I had was horrible! It tasted bad, it made me cough, and it made my lungs feel bad. I should have stopped, but my friend and I kept smoking. This was the one choice in my life that I wish I could change because I continued smoking. Even though it made me feel horrible, I tried cigarettes again and again, until I became a smoker for almost two decades.

Why I smoked during college …..

I smoked cigarettes for almost two decades because cigarettes were my favorite pastime. Whenever I was stressed, I smoked a cigarette. Whenever I was hanging out with my friends, I smoked a cigarette. I smoked when I could, wherever I could, and smoked to release stress. I really enjoyed smoking cigarettes.

During my college years, my early twenties, I wanted to quit smoking, but everyone I met at college, was a smoker. It seemed as if everyone I came in contact with was a smoker. Smokers were everywhere I went, were in every class that I attended, and were everywhere on campus smoking. I met many people while I was a smoker. All I had to do was approach a person smoking and ask for a light and then I had a new friend.

How could I stop smoking when I was making so many friends who smoked as well? The smokers in my classes became my studying buddies and we spent many nights cramming for tests, writing papers together, going to the library together, and hanging out with each other. So I continued smoking through my college years because I thought that was my only way to find and keep friends.

Why I smoked after college……..

I did not want to quit smoking while I was in college because I did not want the stress of college and quitting smoking. I did not want to affect my grades by quitting smoking and I did not want to lose my friends. I wanted to wait until I graduated from college to quit smoking for good.

Once I graduated from college, I tried to quit smoking for good. I tried the cold turkey method. I succeeded for a few weeks and thought I was done. I was proud of myself. I started applying for jobs and got hired at a hospital. The first day of working, my preceptor asked me if I smoked because she wanted a cigarette break. I told her that I quit smoking, but would come with her to the smoker’s lounge.

When I went into the smoker’s lounge, I smelled the cigarettes, started to get the urge to smoke, and then I broke down and asked her for a cigarette. When I took my first puff, I realized that I still enjoy smoking cigarettes. I took a two week break from smoking, but could not fight the urge to go to the smoker’s lounge or watch someone else smoke. I wanted a cigarette so I had one.

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