Wanting To Be Good: An Exaggerated Fool's Kaleidoscope

“Why are you so angry with me? What favor have I done for you, lately?” In a continual series of reflected distortions, your words, thoughts and actions condemn you. Everything you do or say is fragmentally reflected serving to sever your head by/through the webbous strings attached in actions offered by you, beguilingly.

It matters not whether you are consciously aware of your motivating reasons for asking or receiving ‘favors’, the outcome is the same. Wanting to be good is an exaggerated fool's kaleidoscope.

You are not separate from the people and events that surround you and when you solicit help, advice, ‘special favoring’ of any sort, you will be compensated in bitter return. Placing people or situations on a pedestal, in order to benefit from either of them, will cause undulating waves of resentment and remorse.

Never hold another in higher regard than yourself. It is false flattery of the worst kind!

“Halt! Who goes there; Stranger, friend or Foe?” It depends upon how you plan to use them! You never have been more conscious of your actions than in the moment you meet someone. “What do you do?’ {Usually among the first few questions.} What does it matter?

Unless you are subconsciously slotting him into a space for further reference or entitlement, it really doesn’t matter if he’s a window washer or the president of IBM. The fact that you solicit a response indicates you are working to further your project IF that be possible.

In order to retain any smidgen of integrity or honor, do not ask favors of anyone. When you ask for a favor or receive one, the placement is an unnatural, uncomely and unredeemable position for the both of you.

No man is above you or below you in any sense of the word. When approaching or responding to someone in this demeaning manner, you are being superficial and so is he. {When you help; you hinder. When you are helped; you are hindered.}

Our motives are never pure!

If, at any minute we deceive ourselves into believing they are, we suffer immeasurably through undisclosed discontent and unparalleled dissatisfaction. From that point on, we begin to build walls around us for protection. We misinterpret our own self-inflicted paranoia as a mal-aligned intent coming from another.

We judge, criticize and condemn the smallest matters. We're continuously on edge, refusing to see how insidious our demands are. The malicious face of pretense will catch us when we are the least bit aware. Most especially, when we honestly believe we are the ones without guile.

Your divine consciousness will mirror back to you the perfect state/level of awareness in which you reside.

It remains constant and unchanged. You are never in a state of lack; therefore how can you be in a state of WANT?

{IF you have a NEED to either receive or give special ‘favoring’, check your ambitious impatient restless drive. Difficulty arises when you try to conceal your motivations; from yourself first, then others.

Why are you really wanting to appear so good/elevated to be able to help another or to ‘seem’ like you are allowing the other to be so ‘good’ by accepting help because you are in some sort of lowly position? When you appear more interested, involved, inclined to flatter, or incited to action based on someone other than you, it falls flat.

Here how it goes down. When you want to remember something a certain way for benefit or detriment you end up blaming another for your perpetual situation.

Never do you place yourself in the ‘seat of propriety,’ except when it brings advantage to do so. Even though you take pleasure in recounting all the many times, you DID so much good , the truth is you did it for the wrong reasons IF you can remember the event and have need to recall it. “…cast into the sea of forgetfulness…”

The circumstance, person, place or thing had relevance for you at the time and YOU ‘got’ your reward immediately.

Pain is the surest way of reflecting to you that you are out of sync with your life. There will be times when you are uncertain as to why you have to endure certain agonizing circumstances. Some of these are the times when you WANT to help the most, but KNOW you can’t.

Remember: you will be degrading the other IF you do! Rest assured, IF you will hold yourself in check and not HELP unimaginable benefits will come forth for you and the other. You can’t possibly imagine what it will feel like to cease ‘seizing control’ until after having experienced the liberty associated. You and the other will grow exponentially.

The reoccurring situation itself holds vital lessons for you both to experience. The first one will be to hold yourself back from stepping in and taking over! Latent gifts that you possess, not yet actualized or expressed will surface to enable you to process the “please rescue me” or “I need to be rescued” event until it passes.

Then, there will be other times when you will come to realize and appreciate the pain involved as so necessary, cleansing and beneficial. That’s when the pain, of being the one who says or having to be the one told “NO”, serves as a means to balance and not hinder your path. Undisclosed benefit disguised as goodness always ends in pain and separtion. 

You are living in a state of denial and anger. Whether or not the anger is visually expressed does not matter. The debilitating results are the same. Now is the time for you to forgive. “What is there to forgive IF no one has ever done you wrong?”Forgive yourself for believing you were ever in need of anything or that someone else needed you. Forgive yourself of the need and desire to appear ‘good.’

Let yourself and the other ‘off the hook.’ Let go of the idea that anyone at any time has wronged you or that you have in some wronged another. Not possible. It’s just some more of that ‘goody two shoes’ garbage seeping in. Give a more humorous and light-hearted slant to whatever you choose to artistically create, in your relationships, with all that energy you’ll have left over after getting out of the business of other folks.

You really don’t have to be so foreboding, UNAPPROACHABLE, demanding and disapproving, you know. “But, what cha’ gonna do?” It comes “piggy-backed” with the assumption of wanting and needing to appear: GOOD.