Did you ever have a crisis only to discover the support system you thought you h

Jump to Last Post 1-2 of 2 discussions (4 posts)
  1. letstalkabouteduc profile image94
    letstalkabouteducposted 8 years ago

    Did you ever have a crisis only to discover the support system you thought you had was non-existent?

    When my 5-year-old son was diagnosed with autism, I thought I had a solid group of family, friends, and co-workers to help me through this terrible time (the worst in my life). However, I quickly discovered that my support system was not supportive at all. I never felt so scared, alone, and hopeless. Now, 10 years later, my son is doing great (he's high functioning), but I've never gotten over the hurt and shock of not getting the support I so desperately needed. Has something similar happened to you and how did you cope?

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/12563039_f260.jpg

  2. dashingscorpio profile image81
    dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/12680771_f260.jpg

    Generally speaking at most in my life I may have needed to (borrow) some money once or twice and even with that I paid it back (asp).
    I'm not sure if I'm unique but I have few expectations of my family and friends other than no backstabbing, betrayal, or toxic behavior.
    I have no problem removing them out of my circle if they did.
    My philosophy is "Life is a (personal) journey" and you get to (choose) who you spend your time with.
    There are two ways people become disappointed with friends & family.
    1. They made (hypothetical) "assumptions" or "expectations".
    2. Family and friends (actually promised them) but failed to deliver.
    I also believe it's human nature for people to believe their friends and family would do things for them because the individual would do it for (them). Nevertheless that's not their friends or family's fault.
    I suspect there are lots of elderly folks with adult children who never imagined they'd end up living in nursing homes!
    They (assumed) their children would take them into their homes during those final years.
    The only way to cope with disappointment is to forgive them for not living up to (your) expectations and forgive (yourself) for assuming they would act as you would given the same set of circumstances.
    More often than not the disappointment is with the (degree) people are willing to assist us. Most people aren't going to do much that causes them discomfort or puts a strain on their marriage/household. Our problems are not their problems.
    We learn to accept whatever help they are (comfortable) giving.
    You also have to always be looking for programs and services that specialize in offering assistance to people in specific circumstances.
    The only person we can change is ourselves.
    In order to move on you have to let go.

    1. letstalkabouteduc profile image94
      letstalkabouteducposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, there's a lot of truth in all you say. The help I received for my son and me came from professionals, not family and friends. I've learned to be pleasantly surprised when family offers support, but never expect it.

    2. dashingscorpio profile image81
      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I love the term "pleasantly surprised" as a way of living.
      I may have to borrow it from you!smile
      Making assumptions and having expectations often leads to heartache and disappointment. Best wishes!

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)