Nursing homes - good or bad?

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  1. starme77 profile image77
    starme77posted 14 years ago

    what experiences have you had with family members in nursing homes? good? bad?

    1. sandwichmom profile image60
      sandwichmomposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      There is a need for these facilities but on a limited basis. Unfortunately those with little income can't get very much in home help- but the wonderful government of ours will pay for your care in a skilled nursing facility(pet peeve I have). I did work in 2 different facilities; one with an alzheimers unit and specialty rehab. Families often can't handle the aggression and wandering day and night of a dementia patient; especially if the spouse needs help too. I am a case manager with elderly and always prefer them to stay home or live with relatives- but some need the structure of a facility. I have one family that has tried several times to bring their dad home- but his behavior has put people at risk- he beat up his wife- he woke up and thought strangers had broken in- it was awful. He seems better in a nursing home. On the other hand some do not belong in a nursing home but have no other way to get any care.

    2. sooner than later profile image60
      sooner than laterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think that they are terrible. Most people die very rapidly in the ones around here.

      I have heard of good ones in places like Scottsdale, AZ- but there goes your retirement.

    3. Laura Thykeson profile image62
      Laura Thykesonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Please read my hub on the horrendous issue we had with our mother in a nursing home. It is under "Abuse of the Elderly In Nursing Homes - A Sad But True Story, by Laura Thykeson. Not all are bad, but because of what we went thru, I would rather die than be put in one.

    4. rhamson profile image69
      rhamsonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Try if you can to avoid them.

    5. prettydarkhorse profile image62
      prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I would never allow my parents or one of my family members stay in a nursing home, they dont care at all

  2. Lady_E profile image75
    Lady_Eposted 14 years ago

    From the little experience I've had, as I used to visit someone there - I would say its not a good idea 'cos they are sort of isolated.

    It's best to have them cared for at home and employ a nurse or two. Just my opinion. smile

  3. AEvans profile image71
    AEvansposted 14 years ago

    I worked them for a while when I first became a nurse they are not nice! My father was in a home and they overmedicated him and let him lay in his feces. They are not nice and that is from a nurse's persepctive but I am certain that other nurses may have positive things to say, it is only my opinion. smile

  4. starme77 profile image77
    starme77posted 14 years ago

    My opinion exactly - I just started hubbing a few days ago and three of my hubs are about nursing care - and what happened to my father in law in a nursing home - I made a website about caring for the elderly and now - I think - finally have the pain of what happened to him out of my system a bit - it will always hurt - but through writing about it - its helped to start the healing process

  5. ChaiRachelRuth profile image62
    ChaiRachelRuthposted 14 years ago

    My father and father-in-law are both the same age -- 81.  My Dad has dimentia, my father-in-law has Parkinson's.  My Dad is now in a nursing home as my step-Mom could no longer manage his care even with the help of home health aides. My father-in-law is still living at home with the help of full time health aides.  My Dad's nursing home is quite nice, as I used to do Pet Assisted therapy with my dog and got to visit lots of different facilities, some nursing homes, mostly assisted living and adult day facilities.  I know a good facility when I see one.  He's not isolated, he's engaged in activities, has his own room, is visited frequently by my step-Mom (I live long distance).  However the biggest difference is, my father-in-law is being 'nurtured' whereas my Dad's care is being 'managed'.

  6. Virgoman profile image57
    Virgomanposted 14 years ago

    Not Bad

  7. edguider profile image64
    edguiderposted 14 years ago

    They are good but you need to know which ones to select. I currently have a loved one in a very nice nursing home!

  8. europewalker profile image79
    europewalkerposted 14 years ago

    We just put my mom in one last month. Not all of the employees are really good with the elderly, we are still unsure if we will leave her there. It has been so stressful for us to put her there to begin with. With her alzheimers and dementia, she is difficult to handle. On the other hand, she was a good mom and I know she would never let one of us go to a home. If we take her out I would have to quit working to help take care of her. It would be up to me and one of my brothers. I just don't know what the answer is.sad

  9. Pearldiver profile image68
    Pearldiverposted 14 years ago

    My mates and I have only good things to say about the nurse's homes that we used to visit (with a ladder) on Friday nights after the Matron left! yikes
    Great parties, good breakfasts and really good.... Ummmmmm gotta love nurses. smile

  10. profile image0
    Tamarindposted 14 years ago

    It is really sad, but most nursing homes I've been in have been depressing and dirty. It has to do with poor management and quality control standards I would think. My wonderful Great Great Aunt had to go to one in the very end, luckily only for about a week until she passed on.

  11. MarjorieD profile image59
    MarjorieDposted 14 years ago

    Fortunately I have never had any close in a nursing home.  I think they are necessary since not everyone has family members available to care for them.  If at all possible it is preferable to have care arranged in your own home.  If not family members should make a point of visiting often, everyday and make sure that the staff knows people are caring for this person.  That will ensure the resident gets the best care.

    For those of us too young for nursing homes this should remind us that we should plan ahead and make sure that we have suitable arrangements made for our care in our later years.

  12. NaomiR profile image74
    NaomiRposted 14 years ago

    We've had good and bad experiences in my family. When my now-deceased grandfather was 90, he had pneumonia, and he was sent to a horrible nursing home during his recovery. His roommate was an Alzheimer's patient and the nurses would slap this guy around!

    After, my grandfather went to live (by choice) at the Hebrew Home in Riverdale, NY, for the next 8 1/2 years and liked it there. My parents managed to get him a single, but he would flirt with all the nurses (who were really nice and on the ball) and made friends with the people on his floor. He didn't think he could live by himself and enjoyed the attention. The home itself was beautiful; it overlooked the Hudson and had nice grounds, several art galleries and a pretty decent restaurant. All in all, it wasn't bad place to be.

    Right now, my aunt, who is 93, is in a home and likes it there. Like my grandfather, she's very social so she likes being around other people. But my grandmother, who's also 93, is determined to stay in her apt. until the day she dies.

  13. fishtiger58 profile image68
    fishtiger58posted 14 years ago

    My in-laws are in a Christian Nursing Home, as is my sister's mother in- law. The same nursing home for both my sister and myself's in-laws oddly enough. They never know when we are coming and never for me or my sister has anything been out of order. It's clean well lit, plenty of activities for the residents, the food seems good, I think we got lucky with this particular Nursing Home. But most are the pits.

  14. Laura Thykeson profile image62
    Laura Thykesonposted 14 years ago

    Read this before you do anything.... … -Sad-Truth

  15. profile image0
    cathinfranceposted 14 years ago

    No personal experience but yesterday a friend told me that her husband who died recently after several years illness (Alzheimer's) was in a home very briefly at the beginning of this year. She found it hard to cope with his aggression and other symptoms and admitted him to a home in the south of England. During the week she visited and he was very very clearly not being cared for - not even being kept clean. The place cost more than 1000 pounds a week. She said there was only one staff member who spoke English well - not a very helpful circumstance. Staff were from all four corners of the planet and she felt there was no caring spirit or team spirit in the place because there was no social cohesion. She brought him back to France where he spent some time in a local home and she said it was excellent. The staff were not only French but local - the cohesion came from the fact that most people being cared for were the parents or grandparents or in-laws or neighbours or past-neighbours or friends of friends of the staff. Finding a home rooted in a local community may be difficult but seems much better than one which is strictly interested in making a (big) buck from "granny-farming".

  16. phacat profile image59
    phacatposted 14 years ago

    The majority of the time when topics turn to nursing homes the first image is a negative one. I recently read about a new concept being introduced in several parts of the U. S. and world wide.

    A renowned gerontologist is introducing a concept to change the face of nursing homes from a isolated instution to a warm friendly home environment. He is introducing the inclusion of  pets, plants and the presence of children. His idea is to elimate loneliness, boredom, an helplessness so often associated withe these facilites. It has been shown when his concepts are used not only the residents but the employees experience an positive change. In fact, residents who weren't walking, talking or eating are now doing all three.

    These facilities are brighter, happier places. Many have large family room areas with fireplaces. The dining areas are close to the kitchens where the aroma of the food cooking can be smelled just like at home. Residents are given food choices and encourage to sit around the table family style. It has been reported that need for some medications have decreased. In fact the death rate also decreased; people  lived much longer after moving to these facilites. Families were much happier.

  17. habee profile image91
    habeeposted 14 years ago

    My mom was in a wonderful assisted living facility, and my grandmother was in a great nursing home...BUT, in both cases, our family members had almost constant visitors who stayed on top of things.

    On the other hand, my nurse-daughter worked in a nursing home, and she was very unhappy about how patients were treated. She finally quit out of desperation.

  18. lrohner profile image69
    lrohnerposted 14 years ago

    I lost my mother, grandmother and aunt to nursing homes. My mother died from a fall when left unattended and no one would respond to her need to go to the bathroom. My grandmother died from an overdose of one of her medications. My aunt died from lack of medical care after she developed pneumonia. Nuff said.

  19. prettydarkhorse profile image62
    prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

    theres nothing like the real care of a family member, as much as possible it should be avoided,

    the pehnomenon of nursing home is unique to the West, in the East when people gets old, they stay with their children, and they are taken care of,,

  20. K Partin profile image59
    K Partinposted 14 years ago

    You really need to do your homework when looking for a nursing home. I've been in some really nice ones and some really terrible ones. It's a sad situation for sure. Everyone deserves QUALITY care...

  21. ElCelt profile image58
    ElCeltposted 14 years ago

    Skilled nursing facilities are, unfortunately, necessary and will become more so as the population ages. They provide a vital role that today's families, in many instances, cannot. Nursing homes are stretched in therms of finances/reimbursement and staffing.

    The best way to help a loved one  get the best care possible is by developing relationships with the management and staff. be reasonable in your dealings so that when you do have a concern to bring to someone's attention, you are not seen as only complaining. staff respond well to positive reinforcement. And, I believe that the majority of health care workers wish to do a good job.

    If you receive an unsatisfactory response from the facility to an issue you have requested be addressed, contact the Ombudsman associated with that facility. You are also free to contact the health department at any time, but I would suggest reserving this action for situations that have not been resolved and which have the potential for imminent jeopardy.

  22. kmackey32 profile image65
    kmackey32posted 14 years ago

    I work in a nursing home. My uncle was a patient only for rehabilitation but when it came time for him to go home, he didnt want to leave. I love where I work and not to spam but even wrote a hub on it.

  23. profile image0
    Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago

    I'm so glad this thread was posted.

    My brothers and I are actually in the middle of having to make this kind of decision about our Mom's care....

  24. chambersgirl21 profile image60
    chambersgirl21posted 14 years ago

    I use to work in a nursing home and I hated it. I am sure they are not all the same. The one I worked in was just depressing. I would recommend home health care if you can afford it.

  25. PegCole17 profile image92
    PegCole17posted 14 years ago

    My mom just spent a month in a Skilled Nursing and Rehab Facility here in TX. It was modern, spacious, clean, well attended and geared toward activities for the residents. There was a garden with roses and a gazebo, a beauty salon, a grand piano and caged birds in the lobby. She was receiving 3 hours of Physical Therapy every day to prepare her to go back to her home after she fractured her vertibrae in a fall. She's 85 and her older sister, 90, lives with her.

    Nursing homes are not all equal, nor are they ideal. Even the pretty ones have their share of issues: understaffing, neglect and poor management. Mom's oldest sister (95) was in three different facilities, each one worse than the last.

    It's important if you're facing a decision about this issue that you physically go to a couple of facilities and make the comparison yourself. Ask questions, walk (and sniff) around, stay for a meal and be informed about your choices.

  26. Flightkeeper profile image66
    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    Starme, there are very few good ones.  You have to really check it out and ask trusted friends for advice and even then I would keep making surprise visits just to make sure it's a good place.

  27. profile image0
    Pani Midnyte Odinposted 14 years ago

    It really depends on the nursing home, but there are more bad ones than good ones.

    One nursing home I viewed as good was a nursing home I used to volunteer in. They had a very interactive staff and the residents seemed very happy, and well cared for.

    However, the nursing home my great-grandmother died in was not so nice. When they were preparing her body for burial, they found multiple bed sores on her back, legs, and butt. Since my great-grandmother was delusional or sleeping when my family went to visit her and the staff put on a good show, we weren't aware that she was being treated poorly.

    If you are planning on putting your loved one in a nursing home, I would not simply rely on how the nursing home looks when you visit it. They will put on a good show for guests. They just want money. I would speak to residents while I was there, ask them if they like it. Ask them how staff treats them. Ask other families how they think the facility is doing.

  28. K Partin profile image59
    K Partinposted 14 years ago

    Few years back I used to deliver meds to the nursing homes. Some were really good and some were really bad. Probably 60-40 bad to good. It's a shame the states do not have enough inspectors to go in these homes more often. Allot of the problem is the owners and administrators. And also not doing back ground checks on the staff!

  29. BobbiRant profile image60
    BobbiRantposted 13 years ago

    I work in them and if they are not a culture change facility they are BAD!

  30. Diane Inside profile image71
    Diane Insideposted 13 years ago

    I work in nursing homes from time to time in therapy, and yes some are better than others. I think it boils down to the administration of the facility. If you have good administrators who care about the welfare of the patients they make sure they get good employees for direct care. If not they hire just anybody and don't care about references, or anything like that they just need a warm body to meet state regulations.  If you have a family member in a nursing facility visit them daily if possible at random times. These residents get the best care because they never know when you are going to show up.

  31. kmackey32 profile image65
    kmackey32posted 13 years ago

    I think the one I work in is the best... I love it there and work almost everyday..

    1. Ravils profile image60
      Ravilsposted 12 years agoin reply to this


  32. Pcunix profile image93
    Pcunixposted 13 years ago

    Our experiences have been so disgusting that I promised my wife that she will never go unless we both have to go.

    Staff is often overworked and of course not the brightest people in the world to start with.  The residents get mostly abused  by neglect and carelessness rather than purposeful, but if you complain on behalf of your loved one, you become an annoyance to them and they will get even.

    We knew a woman who was dying herself but trying to provide sone comfort for her husband who was in the home.  The staff disliked her because she asked for too much help - unreasonable stuff like asking an aide who busy watching TV to come change his stinking soiled pants that they'd ignored for an hour.

    She fed her husband dinner ever night.  One night, she left the table to get something and while she was gone, the staff hid his food tray and openly laughed at her when she returned and was confused by it being gone.

    They dropped my father in law in the shower and gave him a concussion because they were not following procedure.   They didn't get him to a hospital till the next day!

    Constant petty abuse, nastiness - we hate these people passionately.

    1. Ravils profile image60
      Ravilsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      So sad to hearing this.And now I understand how hard working in this industry,because I just pass my college for Health Care Assistance  and place where I did my work experience absolutely great.Staff carry out for elderly very good.I hope to get job soon,and would like to do my best for any patient I working for.


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