They are fine for those without family or without able bodied family that can help. I am not talking about lazy family members that just don't care about the one needing care!
It is so sad to go into the rest homes and hear them say no one visits me, or I'm lonely! I used to deliver pizzas to rest homes all the time and how some of there family members just left them to die enrages me!! I would and could never do that to my family or friends! If anyone in my family ever becomes ill and needs me I'll make room for sure! Even if I have to sleep on a couch or floor at that!!
I would do anything I had to to treat them with respect and love!!
My husband and I have taken in many people over the years and bared all burdens and challenges of meeting there needs & it didn't kill us or break us!!
Also never put your family member into a rest home that lets them starve and get huge untreated bed sores- if a rest home can not be avoided!!
They are one of the last gifts we give to our family. I would never want to place the burden of my care on my children. I would never want to interrupt or strain their lives. Although I know they would take me in, my gift to them would be to let them live their lives as fully and comfortably as they can and taking in someone who can't be on their own is a lot of work. I am not so arrogant as to think my care wouldnt place undo stress on them. From maybe having to turn a grandchild from their room, to making a son or daughter in law give up vacations, personal time and space, not to mention uncomfortable moments that are bound to occur. I can't see any parent thinking their children owe them care, for the care they were given. Parents don't keep score.
The idea of nursing homes is admirable. I can speak first hand having been in 2 of them and currenlty in 1 for rehab. They are only as good as the people that work there. Some are dirty, some are cleam, no matter which one you go to, the food is terrible and they do not give you enough. No wonder when you go to a nursing home the patients are skin and bone. There is a button you push when you need nurse help. Sometimes they answer fast, sometimes you could wait 40 minutes. Hopefully you are not choking to death during the 40 minute wait. Some take short cuts on the care to save money. There is alot more I could write but then the answer would end up being a book. Let me say this, if you have some frree time, go visit a local home. There are many patients that are put in the homes and get no visitors. They are quite lonely. A little visit and conversation will pick up someones spirit way more than medication can
After having been the cook in several, and currently the kitchen manager in one........I can share some of my observations........
In " today's fast paced society", they provide a much needed service. The days of mulitgenerations living in the "family" home are past.........this alone saddens me.
There is quanity and quality, and it most certainly applies here.
Some people can pay for the best, and some are dependent upon government aid. It DOES make a difference in the attention and level of care your family member gets. It is another face of the American tragedy.
Even in the most exclusive of homes, a person, who has earned their living, had a fabulous home, yard, perhaps boat, airplane, career.............etc..........is reduced to one small room. Their momentos of a lifetime are reduced to what one or two tabletops will display. Their wardrobe of fine clothing, is simple and basic.
They now welcome junk mail! Their mail is screened......not read, but screened so that they are not aware of bills and medical documents until someone in the office deems it time to tell them.
Yes, they get "around the clock" care, supervision, food, assistance with medications, showering, even some have their dentures cleaned for them. Some have their diapers changed.
Having the experience that I do, the ONLY reason that I would ever put my Dad in a home, is because he is far too heavy for me to lift in and out of chairs, beds, baths....etc.
If, I am ever faced with ill health or loss of mind, I would not want my children to feel guilty about putting me in a "home", but I do hope they pick a good one.
If ever you have a loved one in a "home", PLEASE do not break a date to take them to dinner, to church, to visit......it breaks their heart, and it embarrasses many of them to be forgotten. I have seen them refuse to come to the dining room, and let other residents know that they have been stood up.
This is not the place to save money!
I have an elderly aunt who did not want to live with family members. She lives in Florida and after much deliberation we were able to find a person who runs a small 'home' where they have 5 or 6 live in senior citizens and its been very beneficial for all of us.
hmmm depends on the home and how it is run if the paitents are well carred for and hapy if its a clean and safe invorment i think once we get older we require at some point in our lives speachil needs that family can not otherwise provide not all nursing homes are bad though there are many things out there that make us wonder
by starme776 years ago
what experiences have you had with family members in nursing homes? good? bad?
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Don't you think we should care for our elderly at home, rather than send them off to nursing homes?
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