Is it rude if a nonsmoker asks me to quit smoking?

1. 71

   danielleantoszposted 13 years ago

   Is it rude if a nonsmoker asks me to quit smoking?
   
   I am a smoker, and I try to be very conscious of other people around me when I light up.  I move away from other people and always stay far away from children.  But if I am in a smoking permitted area first, is it rude if a non smoker asks me to not smoke?  For example, if I go on the opposite end of a restaurant patio (far away from everyone else) and a non-smoker sits next to me when I obviously have my pack of smokes and lighter in plain view?

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2. 83

   barbergirl28posted 13 years ago

   If you are in a designated smoking area... I think it is very rude. Unfortunately in today's world it has become very anti-smoker. We have fought to no longer segregate people for their skin, their sex or their religion. Yet, now they prejudice against those that smoke. My solution... instead of being prejudice, just make it so they can't be bought... otherwise respect the smokers like the smokers have to respect the nonsmokers. And if they are in a smoker designated area and ask you to quite... I would blow smoke in their face.

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3. 61

   cbl2988posted 13 years ago

   If he or she asks, rather than tells, it probably isn't as rude. Would I be annoyed? I sure would. The funny thing is, second hand smoke isn't as bad as most people would have you believe. So the next time someone asks you to put your cigarette out, even after you go out of your way to smoke in peace (out of everyone else's way), kindly tell them to quit being a tight wad, and if they don't listen, tell them that they can mind their own business and leave.
   
   I am no smoker, nor do I approve of it. But I disapprove of busy-bodies telling other people what to do and how to live even more. If you want to smoke, that is your choice. I choose not to smoke because I think it isn't right, but that is my choice and my business. What is not my business, is how other people choose to live their lives.
   
   So, in short, yes, he or she was being rude.

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4. 60

   Shahid Bukhariposted 13 years ago

   Thats mighty considerate of you ... dear smoker.
   But do write ... when someone at the Pub ... asks you not to drink !

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5. 65

   NathanielZhuposted 13 years ago

   It's YOUR decision whether it is rude or not because all he did was give you his view of things.
   
   We all know smoking is a one way and almost garrented ticket to lung cancer and death and that was probably what was on his mind.
   
   ASTF.TK

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6. 54

   James Gregposted 13 years ago

   If you are not in a no smoking zone then no one has the authority to ask you not to smoke, but it depends on the tone of the person who asked you not to smoke. If it was for the concern of your health then I see no rudeness and if he asked you just because he doesn't smoke then I think it's pretty rude.

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7. 61

   nightwork4posted 13 years ago

   yes it is ignorant. non-smokers often seem to think they have the right to tell smokers how to live, how bad smoking is for you and others, that's usually just before they hop into their gas-guzzling SUV's and drive 1000ft. to the store.

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8. 60

   Catalin79posted 13 years ago

   I think is more about the tone of the question rather the fact that you are in a smoking permitted area. You can tell him nicely that it is not really his business if you want to keep smoking.

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9. 60

   Dave Mathewsposted 13 years ago

   Totally it is. It is none of their business what you do with your life, you owe them nothing.

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10. 0

    MicahBear78posted 13 years ago

    Quit as in quit for good? Or just refrain while in their presence?  No one can tell you how to live your life but they can ask that you not infringe on their "pursuit of happiness"

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11. 62

    haikutwinkleposted 13 years ago

    Asking you not to smoke and asking you to quit are 2 different requests.
    
    I'm a non-smoker and I would look for the non-smoking sign before I make any comments on any smokers nearby. If lucky, they might stop smoking. If unlucky, they might still continue smoking it. In that case, I just move to another place. No need to waste energy commenting further or making insults or making faces.
    
    Smokers or Non-smokers, we are all humans and are emotional about things. Try not to take it too personally and see it from an objective point of view.
    
    Regards.

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12. 60

    clintonbposted 13 years ago

    I would say thats its your personal choice. People like to interfere. Its not wrong..its jus that its not safe.

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13. 62

    Deepak Chaturvediposted 11 years ago

    If the person asks in good manner and tone than it isn't as considered rude and if vice versa it is rude.So keep doing what you like with your cigar.t.c.

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14. 0

    WriterCooperativeposted 11 years ago

    You have received answers from various perspectives which can be helpful to round out your own.
    
    I have a challenge to answer with neutrality, as my feelings are strong about smoking. I would not suggest to a person that they stop smoking (unless invited.)
    
    But, I am so highly sensitive and allergic to cigarette smoke my reply will be charged with a feistier energy than usual. We moved to Germany in July, and were shocked to see how many people smoke. On every corner.
    
    In public eating areas, the law forbids smoking. But people gather right outside the door and puff.
    
    So when we are in a bakery enjoying a coffee and brotchen, and people start puffing, we both get scratching in our throats, our sinuses swell, we have headaches, and our pleasant time out is in ruins.
    
    I have seen so much rudeness from cigarette smokers, it rounds out my perspective to look at it from a smoker's viewpoint.
    
    On the beaches here, cigarette butts are thrown on the sand. Do the smokers ever consider that others might not want to see their butts on the ground, or that it can be harmful to nature?
    
    From a legalistic viewpoint, if you are in a smoking permitted area, you have every legal right to smoke. And I would say it is outside the bounds of proper social behavior for a non-smoker to expect you to stop smoking.
    
    As others have suggested, if the tone was friendly and made as a request, it was not rude. No more than asking, "Excuse me, would you please move your shopping cart so I can pass?" Shouldn't humans be able to make such requests of each other, without expectation? If they had expectation, I would say it was rude, or uninformed about the smoking permitted status.
    
    Then I wonder about your reaction. You probably just wanted to be left alone to smoke. Perhaps you felt guilty about smoking, after the request? If you can smoke and not care how it affects others as long as you are legally within your rights, why should it matter if someone asks you to not smoke where they will smell it? I mean, you don't care about them so couldn't you let the comment pass over you and remain confident with your smoke?
    
    There is the point that you sat far away from everyone else and the non-smoker sat next to you. If they had a choice to sit far enough away to not be affected, well, if it had been me, I would have moved and said nothing.
    
    Also, if you had pointed out to me that you are sitting in a smoking permitted area, and I had asked you to not smoke, then I would apologize.

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