Have you ever had a best friend or relative you were close to pass away?

1. 61

   OutsideTheLinesposted 13 years ago

   Have you ever had a best friend or relative you were close to pass away?
   
   How did it affect you? How did you go about not letting depression get the best of you?

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2. 86

   Melovyposted 13 years ago

   First, let yourself grieve. You are allowed to feel upset if someone close to you has died. That doesn’t mean wallow in it - just allow the feelings and the thoughts and images to come and to go. We tend to fight feelings and this keeps us stuck in them.
   It’s very easy to think that if we let go of our upset we are somehow betraying the person who died, or that our sadness keeps us connected. But when we can let go of the sadness we are free to feel the love that is within us for that person and allows us to remember the good times we had with them. This certainly helped me when a friend died, and it helps now when my father has terminal cancer.
   At my friend’s funeral her family read a poem that you can find on this link: out:http://www.poeticexpressions.co.uk/POEMS/You%20can%20shed%20tears%20that%20she%20is%20gone.htm

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3. 76

   FaithDreamposted 13 years ago

   The answer to your question is yes, yes, yes.. I've had more than I can count. Grief and loss is one of the hardest things to endure in this lifetime. It catches you off-guard, sweeps you off your feet and leaves you breathless on the floor.
   
   They say time heals all wounds. In someways this is true. In grief, you find healing through acceptance. It is not that your pain goes away. The loss you feel today stays with you, however life moves forward and you find the memories are things you hold on to. You give yourself time to accept.
   
   I found that journaling and writing is very theraputic. It doesn't have to be writing shared with another, but just a way to get your thoughts and feelings on paper. I did a lot of writing after losing my mom. But it was different when I lost my dad. After his passing, I devoted all my time to do things he would have done, for my mom.
   
   Find something that you love doing during your season of grief. If you find yourself suffering with depression, find a professional to talk to. There are also support groups and grief workshops that help.

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4. 79

   Attikosposted 13 years ago

   Half a dozen times. You don't get over it. It always leaves a big hole inside, one you can't fill in and into which you fall. Eventually you learn to walk around it, most of the time. Let yourself grieve. As long as your depression doesn't shut down your life, in which case you need outside intervention, let it be. It's part of healing.

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5. 84

   wychicposted 13 years ago

   Yes. In the short-term, I got over the depression and paralysis by trying to focus on what I already had, and focus on helping the other survivors deal with the loss. As for healing -- I'm still working on that one...thus far it seems impossible to me to understand the death of a 3 1/2-year-old who was perfectly healthy up until several days before he died. It's only been three years since his death, so giving it time...

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