What would you do if 2 of your child's friends were cutting themselves?
2 of my son's friends confided in him and said they were cutting themselves. I have not met the friends or their parents but feel I need to do something about it. I'm planning to ring their school and inform a teacher. What do you think?
Best if you talk to the parents first to find out what kind of people they are. Just meet them first. Sometimes when children cut themselves there is an underlying issue of problems that the child is facing. Psychological problems. Sometimes it is a cry for needing attention. They may not know how to deal with certain emotions which takes the attention away from the emotions of pain to physcial pain. They need help and get it for them.
Make sure that the problem is not coming from home first by meeting the parents.If you feel that the parents are ok then let them know but also let the parents know that the child confided personal information and that the parents need to approach the issue with caution. The parents need to also understand that if they are going to talk to the child that they do it withing a caring concern not with anger or violence. If it is from the home contact the school councilor for the children to see.
Be aware also that this issue may also be an act of showing off to friends also. Some children do this to prove themselves to their friends.
Also let your child know that they did the right thing for coming to you with such a big secret. Your child is going to feel guilty about telling but he needs your support because he may lose his friends over this. Please look at some of the hubs that kelleyward has wrote. She may have a few hubs that may help you out.
What age children are we talking about here? This is a difficult topic to discuss with parents that you have no previous relationship with. If there is a school counselor, as opposed to a teacher, I would speak with him/her. Counselors understand what to look for and how to bring things up and keep them confidential. A counselor woul be more likely to protect your son's confidentiality and keep him out of the situation.
More importantly, it is great that you and your son have such an open and honest relationship. It is shocking what goes on with children these days, and what types of situations they get themselves into. Keep talking, meeting friends, and being involved so your son won't fall in with a crowd that pressures him to do something out of character for him.
I wish you the best of luck. Raising children is a difficult challange.
We actually were faced with this situation. I called the young girls mom and let her know what was going on so she could get her daughter the help she needed. My daughter thought she would be mad at her but instead she thanked her.
I would certainly inform the parents. Self-mutilation is a cry out for help that can end up deadly. Usually, it is girls that feel over-controlled, but sometimes boys (maybe to dares?).
I have read a book on a bipolar, anorexic, self-mutilator. Sorry, don't remember author or title. Literature is there if you find the right keywords.
I would speak to the school counselors and I would also be having a very long talk with my own child about the seriousness of this. I would explain why these kids do this and offer alternative ways to cope and I would try to find websites that offer good explanations. I would offer to let my child send links to the troubled friends so they could try to understand themselves better.
I would not call the other parents, I am not qualified to do that. It might be wrong but I would tell the school counselor to do it.
I would be worried about the precursors to this too.
First of all I think it is important that we know the friends of our children and their parents. Friends have a tremendous influence on our kids so who they are is important and would make it easier to call up the parents if you have met.
Calling the school is a good idea, and I hope they act on it but it is hard to say. Definitely, if I were you, I would acquaint myself with these families right away.
There are a lot of kids seriously cutting these days but also there are wannabes who seek attention. True cutters usually cut very deeply and then hide it.. Has your son seen the cuts and have you discussed cutting and the dangers of it?
Thank you very much for all your help. The girls in question were 14. I done what I thought was best which was to ring the school they were in and talk to the head teacher. Not only do I have to think about the girls in that situation but also my son.
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