What to do with people in major self pity?
Share your tips in dealing with people in self pity state of mind.
I am probably the wrong person to reply to this question as self pity is not something that I instinctively have much time for or sympathy with.
It may of course be the result of a depressive condition in which case a little tact and diplomacy may be warranted or even a gentle push towards seeking some professional help for the party concerned.
Other than that, I see self-pity as an unpleasant and manipulative trait used by basically selfish individuals to try to get their own way in any given situation. That may sound a bit harsh but to concentrate solely on yourself, and generally to the exclusion of others can only be described as selfish.
I would also go as far as to say that self pity is a psychopathic personality trait, inasmuch as these people rarely show any empathy or care for the problems of others within their social circle. As for what to do with them, I think I would just point out how many things they have to be thankful for and suggest they stop moaning.
It is very easy to judge those who suffer from self pity, but no one really knows another persons life. You can never truly know what others have worked toward or longed for. Despite the blessings a person may have, disappointments easily prevail especially if a person has spent much time and effort working toward a goal never to see it reached. More than self pity I think people feel like failures. They see others who work less, want less and have everything the pitying person desired. It is a tough situation.
It is aggravating to see people who have so much dwell in self pity, but you can not see what is truly in their hearts or minds. I think you may want to be supportive and honest. Remind them that, "no you may not have all you want right now, but that does not mean it wont come." I think you need to remind them of all the blessings of their lives. I think maybe you should listen with and open heart, because sometimes just saying something out loud unburdens the person and, in some cases, makes them see just how blessed they are and how ridiculous it is to wallow in self pity.
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