Am I judgemental when I have an opinion about a topic?
My husband said that I'm judgemental because I had an opinion about a topic... and ... I asked him, if he isn't judgemental naming me a judgemental person? Who is judgemental in this context?
I won't get into an argument between you and your husband about who's judgmental here - I have enough of those with my own wife!
I will say this: Some opinions are judgments, and some are not. The key is in how they are held. When we say, I like this; or I don't like that; or I think this is healthy for me; or I think that is not healthy for me, these are preferences and opinions that are free of judgment. But when we drop the fact that an opinion is our person view, we change our thinking and language. If we say: This is good; That is bad; This is healthy; That is unhealthy, then we've turned our opinions into judgments.
I call an opinion that is not a judgment an assessment. In an assessment there is no judgment, no idea of right and wrong. There is is simply a sense of preference or a sense of fitness (or the lack of it).
As for your husband, if he was informing you that you sound judgmental to him, that's an assessment. If he was labeling you as judgmental, well, then, yes, I think that's a judgment. To quote comedian Tom Lehrer about this issue: "I know there are people in the world that do not love their fellow human beings and I hate people like that."
For more thoughts on this topic, please read my hub "It's not good, It's not bad, but it's not me."
Thanks for your detailed answer.
In the argument I meant that kids from secure and loving homes may be less disturbing in schools. However, I don't have any children and don't know much about this topic at all. This is why I was named "judgmental".
I will respond as if you said it to me. If you meant it in a concerned and loving way, you were not judgmental. But you were creating an opinion quickly, with little experience, which some people call a "snap judgment."
Yes Sid, you're right, it was absolutely a snap judgment.
An opinion is not a judgement because it is based on someone's personal feelings about something.
A judgement is a decision based on a standard which does not change no matter how someone may feel about it. There are a lot of people who are in prison that feel that they are innocent, but the standard of the law says otherwise.
If there is no standard to apply a judgement to, then it is just relative opinion.
Judging can be right when using a standard to weigh and test the evidence, but wrong based on opinion. Facts and evidence always supersede feelings.
Question #1: Unable to answer with the information provided.
Question #2: Unable to answer with the information provided.
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