Can a person be both an extrovert and a recluse?

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   pagesvoiceposted 11 years ago

   Can a person be both an extrovert and a recluse?
   
   I'm certainly extroverted in my interactions with others. However, I do not do a lot of socializing, by choice. Although never intimidated to talk to anyone on a myriad of subjects, I do find  alone time is my preference. If I'm at a large gathering, I would rather seek out only one or two individuals to interact with.  Am I more the norm or the oddity in the room?

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   BigBlue54posted 11 years ago

   Hi pagevoice. No you are not alone as I to have no problem talking to anyone about anything. But at the same time I am a very private person. I am also a night owl and my partner has pointed out on several occasions that I tend to be quiet during the day but I come alive more at night. Also if I am near other people I do not like to be overheard while talking. This is often why I am quieter during the day.
   
   As they say, "it takes all sorts to make a world". Besides, how boring would the world be if we were all the same.
   
   Hope that helps.
   
   PS A recluse would shun any contact with others so you are not a recluse.

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      pagesvoiceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I think you did a super job in explaining your personality, which seems somewhat like mine. You're  correct. I'm not really a recluse, but I do treasure my private time.

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   fpherj48posted 11 years ago

   Well, Dennis...First of all, to determine what the "norm" or the "oddity" in the room is, we'd have to know every individual in the room, really well, in terms of many and varied aspects of their lives....wouldn't you agree?
   I found your self-disclosure quite interesting......but since I know you only vaguely, as a fellow-writer, I need to use myself, to create a logical comment.
   There is not a single doubt that anyone and everyone who knows me, readily describes me as, very personable, outgoing, witty, generous and sociable.  Further, my family and friends would and do say that I am fun to be with, trustworthy and always ready to help.  So far, this qualifies me as an "extrovert," according to Webster: A person who is more in his/her environment and other people than in him/herself...a person who is active and expressive, or other than introspective. 
   I might agree with this, because I'm so certain that I am seen this way and described in this manner........however, I am a very devout and self-proclaimed, "recluse."   I seldom CHOOSE to socialize.  I despise large crowds and noisy places.  On the other  hand, I love alone time.  I completely enjoy being at home, doing the many things I find pleasure in....reading, writing, sewing, watching a good movie, tending to my beloved pets, being involved in a home project.   I like feeling relaxed, peaceful and comfortable......which is what our home represents to most of us...My home does.  I am perfectly FINE, not seeing nor talking to another human, for days.   Of course, I'm married, and we do interact..LOL.....a lot.   
   We are polar opposites.  Jim is an A-Type personality, always going and doing and communicating with clients.   He whizzes past me a hundred times a day and I haven't the slightest urge to join him.  I just do MY thing.
   When he is not at home....I do not answer the phone.  In fact, I hate the phone.  We have been in this home for nearly 12 years, and I have never once, brought the mail in.  We have tenants who live on our property and I could not tell you their names.  I wave to them. Period.  My husband does the grocery shopping.  He told me the other day, that everyone thinks he's a bachelor......LOL. 
   So, Dennis....Which am I?   The replies you get should prove to be very interesting.  I do not think you are odd at all.  If you are, then obviously, I am too.
   It matters not to me.  I am who I am and I am happy 95% of the time.  The other 5%, I'm sleeping!!   GOOD question, Dennis.

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      pagesvoiceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Bingo! You just described me to a tee, except for the sewing part. I'm an insomniac and my wife who's still teaching after 38 yrs. requires a lot of sleep. Home is my sanctuary, with the company of my dogs and the animals that visit daily.

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      BigBlue54posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I thought for a minute my partner had answer this question. You have described her to a tee. Will help friends and family, hates shopping and would sooner be at home.

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      cat on a soapboxposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent answer!  I can definitely relate also. I am extroverted socially but need personal "recluse" time to recharge and tend to my other favorite non-social activities.

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   Larry Wallposted 11 years ago

   I would have to agree with the majority, but from a different perspective. I am an introvert. I can be along in a crowd.  However, in my past careers and my current stage of life, it is necessary to interact. So while I may not have the qualities of a true extrovert, I am more naturally a recluse, who has to step into the deep waters and put forth the effort to me more of an extrovert than an introvert.
   
   The add to the oddity of this mix, there are two things I will share with you. I do not like it when I call people and answer the phone. I always hope the person I want is not in so I can leave a message and have them call me back. I feel I am imposing on their time when I call. However, when they return my call, they know I am waiting for them.
   
   Finally, as I have stated many times I have a speech impairment--not so bad, but still there (voice-recognition software recognition software goes haywire when I try it.) However, I do not mind public speaking. I have given close to 100 speeches in the last 30 years--not a lot, but they never bothered me as an adult. As a high-school student, I hated to read in front of the class.

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      pagesvoiceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your candidness. I'm opposite of you regarding the phone. If I call someone I want them to answer, but if I don't recognize caller ID I never answer an incoming call. I was also the kid who couldn't wait for his turn to read aloud.

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   EsmeSanBonaposted 11 years ago

   On the Myer-Brigg Personality test introvert/extrovert is one of the assessments.  I always score an X instead of an I or a E. 
   
   On that test though, which is based on Carl Jung's writings, introvert and extrovert do not refer for being outgoing or being reclusive.  Instead, introvert and extrovert refer to where you get your energy, what keeps you going.  Do you find yourself more energized when you are at home alone, or so you feel more energized when you socialize with others.  You don't even have to be talkative or actively engaged with other, just being around them is enough to make you an extrovert.
   
   I always score dead even on that are because I do sometimes get a lot of energy from socializing and sometimes it just completely drains me.
   
   I also need a lot of alone time--A LOT of it.  But too much just makes me start to get depressed and I feel isolated. 
   
   I think the answer to your question is yes, yes you can.

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      pagesvoiceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I think your answer pretty much sums it up with "yes, yes."

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   Michaela Osieckiposted 8 years ago

   Dennis, it sounds to me like you might actually identify as a introvert more than an extrovert - introverts are not inherently shy or unable to socialize, it's just that we prefer to spend more time alone because that's how we recharge. Most of us can be quite outgoing and social in many situations.

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      pagesvoiceposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      You have explained me perfectly!

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