What do you do when you recognize you've lost your confidence?

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   Born2care2001posted 12 years ago

   What do you do when you recognize you've lost your confidence?
   
   Life's circumstances come and go. Is there any circumstance that causes you regularly to second guess yourself?

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   billybucposted 12 years ago

   LOL...Bruce,the quick answer is I drink. I haven't had this problem for six years and I don't see it happening anytime soon.  I hope you are well my friend. Good question.

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      Born2care2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Hey Bill,
      I am well and I hope you are too! I'm just curious to know how people handle, if they even recognize that they've lost their zip, zing or you know, the proverbial "head on their beer." Keep up the great work sir, I'm proud to know you!

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   KellyG05030posted 12 years ago

   Raising children... second guessing like crazy sometimes!  I pray and cross my fingers ALOT.  What a great question!

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   tsmogposted 12 years ago

   That is a great question Born2care2001. I really have not an answer, since life is that process of discovering the answer. Let me try, yet honestly without confidence of knowing the answer.
   
   Main question - Self esteem according to Howard Becker a social psychologist is a matter of comparing either upward or downward for a linear method of thinking. When you compare upward you may feel a loss of confidence cognitively affecting self esteem and effecting confidence.
   
   The opposite is true when comparing downward. That self esteem may be restored and the sense of confidence restored. Caution with that method leads to what is called secondary deviancy or becoming a member of what is compared too. That is a common practice or tactic for bullying when done in an uncaring fashion as well.
   
   The trick is to compare self to self with its many challenges. Measuring success is odd to begin with from a personal perspective. Great Athletes since before the first marathon measure their progress in workouts against their past performances not their competitors. Hard to achieve this discipline, yet it is that discipline which leads to confidence through obtainable and measurable progress. It is like the Army commercial - "Be All that 'You' can be."
   
   Second question is I second guess myself the most here at Hubpages. However I am learning. At first I compared myself to the many, many successful here seeking emulation. What I discovered is some of those I sought to be likened to were not who I was.
   
   I quit comparing myself to them. I stopped worrying about how many comments I received. I quit worrying about developing a following and/or meeting the demands of that following. I really have not a lot of time to invest compared to those I compared myself to. So, why compare?
   
   I began studying my hubs and their progress. I learned. And I gained confidence in 'self.' The tools I measure with are for my entrepreneural adventure and I am successful based on those standards I determined and can live with.
   
   An example is my score. It is directly related to views of hubs. My views are low compared to those hubs marketed heavily on the internet marketplace, yet are respectable in the confines of the Hubpages marketplace. All of the hubs I have published are featured hubs and there is not any score less than 67 the last time I checked. Those reach and/or surpass the goals I established.
   
   Once I understand the ever changing dynamics of SEO a new adventure is entered.

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      Born2care2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I cannot thank you enough Sir Tim, for challenging the thought of confidence. I'm also reminded of the slick salesman or "Con" artist who loses his touch because he can longer bend the truth, thus he loses his con(fidence). Great to hear from you too

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   Eco-Lheeposted 12 years ago

   I think that things can happen when we least expect it that make us feel unsure of ourselves. What do I do? I stand a little taller, hold my head proud and carry on as if I have all the confidence in the world, and at some point, I regain my confidence in that situation.
   
   I am new to writing and being on hubpages learning to write rattles my confidence on a regular basis and I am always second guessing myself, should I do this or should I change that, but I try to do my best.
   
   I think that the more one exposes themselves to something that is out of their comfort zone, the more confidence they will gain along the way.

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      Born2care2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for the answer Eco-Lhee!
      Welcome to hubpages! I appreciate your honesty and I will tell you that this is a marvelous place to learn, write and participate! The collective talent here is incredible. That's what drew you to us, right? Thnx!

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   artist101posted 12 years ago

   That which does not kill us only makes us stronger. I tell myself that quit often. I've had numerous set backs in my life. From asthma, seizures, and other health problems. I pray often, many times I don't even know what to pray. Strength comes from within, and your faith will carry you through. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and carry on.
   Second guessing comes from self doubt, he would not put a circumstance in your path that you can not handle. Each and every set back has a purpose, whether it is to teach us patience, humility, or it may not be to teach us, at all. Maybe to teach others, through our personal testimony of how we handle it.
   That is where I second guess myself. In the testimony.

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      Born2care2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you artist101 for your participation...here and in the world in which we live. As long as you are true to yourself at the time you testify, you have succeeded! I believe you are correct, every circumstance has a purpose. Thank you.

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