What thing(s) are you secretly still afraid of, many years past when you should have outgrown it?
I'm not talking about actual medically diagnosable phobias (I'll ask that question in a minute), just little things-- like being afraid of the mall-Santa after age 10, or being afraid of flying, driving after dark ( even though you do it all the time), ...
White rabbits with red eyes! Someone gave my mom a white rabbit with red eyes porcelain figurine as a gift when I was growing up. I was so afraid of it! I refused to go in the room where it was. My mom had to lock it in a cabinet for me. Well, until that day I still find white rabbits with red eyes impossible to look at and guess what Alice in Wonderland is totally ruined for me.
Great question with a wide array of diversity Laura. First, twenty years ago for me means age 38, so not childhood dreams regarding relational. That said, regarding a fear I either developed, learned, or was blessed with and did grow out of recently was a fear of falling. Odd too.
1978 I was involved with a car crash. Experienced both anterograde and retrograde amnesia. What followed was some term as the cheesecloth affect or holes in the memory. Long story short, since that accident a recurrent dream was falling from somewhere, floating, flying, and not being able to land. I mean I remember many of those dreams, pondering more, and I could not land. Hence, I feared falling. I didn't mind flying or generally speaking heights, unless I felt like I was going to fall.
I haven't had that dream for near to a year. It was always consistent throughout those years. Longer story, yet connected. Last year I went through a process termed spontaneous recovery regarding the amnesia thing. Maybe the second of third time too. What occurs is something triggers it.
Then it is like watching two or more films going faster than the fast forward of a VHS or DVD simultaneously. One forward and one backward. When they meet it is horrific, since it is like having memory loss of that moment. Then I usually get sick to the stomach if you know what I mean, cold sweats for a day or so, and then totally exhaustion. I have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, so deciding if manic or that is tough.
The closest I can liken it too is how I feel if I have a rapid drop of blood sugar. Yet, the last episode I checked glucose more often because of the feeling. You get to where you know if Glucose is high or low after awhile. So, that fear is not here now, yet I do not know if one could term it as growing out of it.
That said, now having memories of childhood not remembered for those thirty or so years or having clear recall of them I will share more. Thank you for your time listening too.
As a child my dad would be shipped out with the Marines. My fear was he would not come back. I knew it was temporary. When he went to Nam, I was angry. There was a lot happening in the late 60's then. It was hard to navigate that time period.
I once shared with an interview with hubber marcoujor published here I "the thing I wish I could get rid of is the ghosts of anger." Those ghosts seem to come from the childhood. So, the current fear is revisiting fears I could not recall once.
Ooooh, I love your line "...I wish I could get rid of...the ghosts of anger." I think you should write a poem about that, whether you submit it here or not.
Thanks for responding to this odd question. My goodness you've had it rough! Peace to you!
I'm still afraid of the dark sometimes and definitely creeped out still by the Chucky doll from Child's Play.
clowns still kind of creep me out and although I find them fascinating creatures - spiders scare the bejeebers out of me.
As a child I was afraid of skeletons being under my bed. I could imagine them under there so clearly. I would leap onto my bed to avoid them pinching my feet with their bony fingers. I knew it was my imagination, but I would let it scare me!
I still do this! I will imagine scary things that are not really real and become frightened by them! It is ridiculous. I have to talk myself down and regain emotional composure. What scary things do I imagine? Like my husband fired the gardener just to annoy me! Like, so and so really doesn't like me, like, my cut will not heal... oh it's ridiculous! But, I can get over it. I tell myself, "let go of tension, see reality!" Right now I am healing from a concussion and every emotional response is amplified. So, now it is really important for me to get this under control. (Hope this wasn't TMI!)
Ladybugs still send me shrieking into the hallway yelling for someone to "kill it!"
The thing is, I know exactly why they scare me, but whenever I try to explain it, I receive strange looks.
For some strange reason, the facts that their wings are under their backs scares me. They literally have to lift their backs to get their wings out. And they tend to fly at you, rather then obey the unwritten universal law all humans and animals tend to follow, which is I won't bother you if you don't bother me.
As a grown man, husband, father and grandfather I am still paralyzed with fear over the sight of spiders. I have always been petrified of spiders and have never gotten over that fear. These arachnids just give me the creeps.
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