How do we get the courage to overcome our fears, stop being afraid and just do w

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   Ceres Schwarzposted 11 years ago

   How do we get the courage to overcome our fears, stop being afraid and just do what we have to do?
   
   What exactly are we afraid of? Why do we hesitate in doing something? What's stopping us? It’s so easy to say and think that we’ll do this and that there’s nothing to be afraid of, so just do it already, but we never actually do it. How can we get over our fears?
   
   When I speak of fear, I mean more of being afraid of change, of the unknown, of going out of our comfort zones and doing something that can only be good for us but that we can't bring ourselves to do because of our fear. This might even seem irrational but how do we get over this fear?

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   VirginiaLynneposted 11 years ago

   When I am afraid of something, I find that the best way to overcome it is to just start doing something small which moves me towards the goal.  Something small which I know I can do and which is not frightening.  Actually getting something done makes me feel braver and more able to step out again.  For example, if you are afraid of talking in front of other people in a classroom, you can start by just asking a question, and maybe plan that question ahead of time.  It also helps to remind myself that failure is ok.  Everyone fails sometimes.  I noticed this question is in the topic of parenting, so maybe you are thinking about how to encourage children to overcome fears.  I have 5 kids and we've certainly dealt with that many times.  The biggest help in overcoming fear is knowing there are people who do love you, accept you and support you no matter what.

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      Ceres Schwarzposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Hi. Thanks for your answer. Actually, I was going for the topic of Advice, which is part of the parenting topic, but your answer does make sense. It's just really hard to overcome fears and get the courage to just do what you're supposed to do.

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   whonunuwhoposted 11 years ago

   Just let it all go and say our prayers daily for family and friends, and the will and courage to keep on going in the grace of our God. Thank you for asking this very vital question that many need to share. whonu

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      Ceres Schwarzposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks but sometimes things may not be as easy as you say. It's easy to say we can do it and that we'll do it but actually doing it is another matter entirely because we're stopped by our fears and we con't have the courage to actually overcome this

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   gypsumgirlposted 11 years ago

   I think having strong support from family and friends is one thing that helps us face our fears.  When people who surround you are encouraging, compassionate, forgiving, and they are there for you whether you succeed or fail, you are better able to take the risk and face your fears.
   
   Thanks for asking such a thoughtful question.  Really made me stop and think. 

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      Ceres Schwarzposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You have a point but is that really enough to be able to just get over and face our fears? What if it doesn't work? Or what if we don't feel that people around us are being supportive? How do we get the courage to face our fears?

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   the girlsposted 11 years ago

   I will answer your question base on my personal experience. I get over fear by facing it but I do take my time if I feel I am not ready to do it.

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      Ceres Schwarzposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      How exactly do you get the courage to just face your fears? How do you bring yourself to face this fear without hesitating and stopping because you're too afraid to go through with it? How much time do we need to be really ready to face our fears?

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   Lady_Eposted 11 years ago

   Your question is a bit general so I will answer by explaining how I deal with it.
   I ask myself why it's important to do it, then believe I can do it, then visualise the outcome of it.....and ofcourse say a prayer to help me through it.
   
   Once you've done this (prayer optional), you will feel so relieved and the next big thing won't overwhelm you.  You'll probably be thinking "Well, if I did that, surely I can do this."  See launching out into the Unknown as a sense of Adventure. Take the first step and be positive.Watch the Magic Unfold. You'll be glad you did.
   
   It might be awesome / it might be one of the best things you've done or it might be a learning experience. What have you got to Lose? Good Luck.
   
   Ps. About 15 years ago I read "Feel the Fear and do it anyway." by Susan Jeffers. That helped me a lot.

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      Ceres Schwarzposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks. I'll have to check it out. What you said makes it sound so easy and maybe it is, but then it really isn't because it's really hard to bring ourselves to do this. How can we get the courage to take that first step and stop being so afraid?

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   Lisa HWposted 11 years ago

   This isn't exactly the kind of answer you probably want, but I think people need to be careful about mixing up fears with "plain, old, not-liking".  There are things that go against our nature.  We all have a "nature", and if things go against our grain we' re not usually in a big hurry to do them.  Also, sometimes people have spent so much of their life doing things that went against their nature, they can get to a point where they just feel like it's a "saturation point" and they don't want to do yet one more thing that goes against their nature.
   
   Sometimes people themselves will interpret that as "fear".  Sometimes other people will convince the person it's "fear".  If you think about it, most people who say they're not comfortable with change aren't really fearful of it.  They just don't like it.  It goes against their nature, or else maybe they've had so much change in their life they just can't take on more of it (at least if they have any say in the matter).
   
   Other than that, I think if someone truly has some fear about one of those things and really knows/thinks he'd be better off overcoming that fear, I suppose taking steps to keep things from getting too unpredictable, and taking steps to learn as much about the "issue" as he can, might help some.  (That's one reason women are advised to take childbirth classes - to be prepared, less stressed out, and less frightened).
   
   Other than the above possibilities, I think the only other one may be that a person just out-and-out lacks the kind of confidence required to do something.  (I know that one well.)  A person can have all the confidence in the world in his ability/aims etc "in his head" because he may know that he's capable and conscientious and willing to work/try (etc.).  There's a different kind of confidence that some people don't have, though; and that has to do with approaching the world or other people.  I guess recognizing that kind of lack of confidence might be a first step; but - in all candor - I, personally, haven't found a way to overcome that brand of lack-of-confidence in myself.  I think that has something to do with both our genetic make-up and past dealings with people/life.  The world/life can take a toll on people's confidence.  I suppose someone who wants/needs to try to increase his own could try to get professional help.  I don't know, though...   When you lack a certain type of confidence it can seem like a "blood-from-a-stone" kind of situation.    (lol)

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      Ceres Schwarzposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You mentioned a lot of good points. Maybe fear does have something to do with lack of confidence. It's just our luck that there seems to be no solution to this. If only it were as easy in our heads as it is in real life so we can overcome our fears.

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      Lisa HWposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I think genuine fear (as in fear for the safety of ourselves or loved ones) is fairly easy to overcome.  Adrenaline and/or anger do that for us.  It's when the fear (or at least discomfort) isn't physical that it can be most challenging.

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