Have you ever missed someone so much it actually hurt?

1. 96

   peeplesposted 12 years ago

   Have you ever missed someone so much it actually hurt?
   
   If so what makes it get better when seeing the person/people isn't possible?

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2. 72

   SidKempposted 12 years ago

   Yes, right now. My wife of 28 years is away for 3 weeks, and will go away for 4 weeks again later this summer. I support her, as she is helping her aging mother. But it still hurts.
   
   I'm a recovering workaholic, so diving into work is the quick fix.
   
   Meditation and prayer are even better, but that does mean embracing the pain.
   
   Coddling myself with favorite foods and relaxation is good, if I don't take it too far and do anything unhealthy.

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3. 37

   edhanposted 12 years ago

   Yes. It does hurt. But my cure to this is keeping myself occupied with work so I do not have time to feel the hurt. Like the saying goes: Absence makes the heart fonder so I look forward to see her again.

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4. 0

   MysticMoonlightposted 12 years ago

   Yes, daily. My beloved brother unexpectedly passed on about a year and a half ago and for quite awhile, I physically felt terrible. Everything ached, I had stomach issues, headaches, not to mention the mental turmoil that followed. Since and slowly, I've gotten better at coping with not seeing him anymore. What helped me is having the absolute belief that he is still with me, even if I can't physically see him, he is still there. It's what keeps me going, I must say

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      Relationshipcposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That's so true. I do the same with my Grandpa - I know he is here, and even though I'm sad that he can't be a part of my physical life, I know he is still a part of my life in some way.

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5. 80

   Relationshipcposted 12 years ago

   Absolutely, there is a direct link between our mental health and our physical state, so when we really miss someone it can influence our body in negative ways.
   
   You have to switch your mindset to a more positive one so your emotions and physical body can follow suit. If you can Skype them then this may help, but also staying in the moment and enjoying your life - no matter who is in it at the moment - can help you to feel better.
   
   I was reading today that it has been proven that you can make yourself feel good by doing an act that makes you feel good. For instance, if dancing makes you feel good, then start dancing. You may not feel it right away, but chances are that you will feel it eventually.
   
   But I find that feeling good comes with living in the moment. Plus living in the moment doesn't give you time to yearn for someone - you are too busy taking action and being busy.

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6. 0

   Awesome Bodyposted 12 years ago

   If seeing them isn't possible then you worrying isn't going to change it.
   missing someone doesn't hurt, worrying about it does. Focus your thoughts on something else, its not healthy to worry so much. Have fun, enjoy life!

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7. 61

   fpherj48posted 12 years ago

   peeples.......Only every single day of my life......for just over 4 decades  Real, palpable, PAIN.  My heart gets heavy, tears STING my eyes, my respiration shifts and my environment becomes a dark cloud. 
   The Love of my Life & first husband/father of my 2 older sons  (45 & 43) was killed in an auto accident, when they were barely 3yrs & 6 months.   The constant, unrelenting, pain, has remained a viable part of me...and never wanes.  I have long ago, accepted that I will simply ache for him, forever...& ever.......
   My one and only sibling, my precious sister, Patricia, my very closest and dearest friend.....my life-line.......lost her battle with cancer, ten years ago.  I was at her side, along with her children, when she peacefully passed.  At that moment,  I literally felt an explosion within, that left a huge gaping, dark and cold void, into the very core of my being.  This void has remained unmoving.
   For me.....it does not "get better."   Rather, I have learned to cope...in any and every way imaginable.   If I have any consolation or comfort at all, it is because I have accepted that just as human beings must suffer through severe & chronic pain of BODY, every day of their lives......I do much the same with nearly unbearable emotional pain.   The aching and the void.....anger, sadness.....longing?   It just IS.   A permanent scar....with a pulse.
   I wish I could give you something to cling to or hope for, peeples.....but as you can see, I have not been able to find the way.......I have realized there is no way.

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8. 81

   ketageposted 12 years ago

   Yes of course, I think most people have at one time or another in their lives, the only thing that makes it less painful is time. You can throw yourself into work, exercise,  any multitude of endeavors to try to take your mind of them, but as soon as you stop, the pain will return. after all you can not work, exercise or keep yourself busy 24 hours a day.

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9. 72

   WalterPoonposted 12 years ago

   Of course, of course! But as I grow older and reflect back, I found out that what I missed was not that someone but lust. Is it any wonder, then, why I seemed to be missing only those from the opposite sex?

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10. 92

    Jackie Lynnleyposted 12 years ago

    I miss several people who have passed on enough that it sometimes hurts. When I was younger I missed my husband if he had to go away, which he did a few times. Today I think it is my mother, passed on that I miss most; the one most daughters run to to talk to or share something with. I don't think I will ever get over missing her.

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11. 68

    connorjposted 12 years ago

    
    
    Yes indeed; when I was in university (I was 23) my father passed from pancreatic cancer at age 67 before I could get home to say goodbye. I suffered excruciating pain up my right arm for a few days. It did subside and has never resurfaced. I arrived at the hospital that he died in, about 2 hours after he passed. I have no idea why the pain subsided when it did.
    It is interesting (at least to me) that about a year and a half after he passed I felt his presence at our sacramental wedding ceremony within my wife's family's  Catholic Church. I and my mother have subsequently experienced his positive "influence" several times throughout our lives. Keep in mind, my dad was always a positive influence for me I did not suffer from any kind of child abuse etc. He was a great role model and although he did not go to church very often he was quite spiritual. He was in the Royal Canadian Air Force during WW II and had a few close-calls...
    I will never forget when my brother and I came to the conclusion that our mother may not have enough money to live independently after our dad passed. He did not have any life insurance. She lived in a typical middle class bungalow, was attached to the house and would not sell. A developer lterally appeared out of the proverbial blue and tried to buy all of the houses on her block to construct a major condominium. Our mom would not sell. She was sentimentally attached to our house. Eventually the developer offered my mom and the 4 other hold-outs each $475,000 for their properties. Yet she said no, because of the sentimentality... Her neighbor (a recent widow), jumped at the deal. Yet our mom as well as the 3 other hold-outs did not sell. Then just by what some call a coincidence there was a break - in on the block just below our mom's block. This scared her and she was ready to sell. She received her money which was just enough to buy her a 3 bedroom condo with bus service to the door in a safe neighborhood and provide her with income to continue her middle class life until the day she passed on. She would be in the same condo building where her nest-door neighbor bought... So she had a good friend with her.  The developer went bankrupt the day after our mom received her money so the other hold-outs received nothing. When my mother passed I never felt any pain or remorse; she died at age 90 and was suffering from early stages of dementia so it was a blessing that she passed. She died peacefully and with a big smile on her face.
    Please forgive me for be so forthcoming; however, I believe you have been given the monumental task of forgiving your father and if you can accomplish this, you will indeed find your way...

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