Do unselfish, self-abnegating people have a masochistic personality disorder or

1. 85

   gmwilliamsposted 11 years ago

   Do unselfish, self-abnegating people have a masochistic personality disorder or other inadvertent
   
   types of self-hatred and selfl-loathing? 
   Selfishness is a healthy and good thing.  However, all of us have been told is selfishness is evil and bad while being unselfish is good.  However, being unselfish is unhealthy, putting others before ourselves(exceptions, of course, apply-e.g. children and more vulnerable) causes the latter to oftentimes take advantage of our good nature.  People simply DON'T respect those who put others first.
   
   

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2. 84

   tsmogposted 11 years ago

   Hello gmwilliams. That question asks a lot doesn't it? Not sure really. I tend to only view Freudian and Jung views seeking perspective. I did Like Dante and liken that at times to Plutchiks circle of emotions. Not sure if that is traditional or not. The writings of the Marquis de Sade adds to, yet Thomas Aquinas could offer enlightenment. Maybe a dance through the definitions offered by the DSM-IV-TR or the updated new version may offer answers.
   
   I tend to shy from the children analogy only knowing the methods of Piagent and such considering just who or whom is a child. That is always a tussle for me of least when pondering adding to with offering something. You never know who the readership is even though the audience may be known.
   
   I just watched a TV local broadcast for awards given to school children for videos. Each accordingly were done by age groups kindergarten through K-12. That only confirmed for me I am a child and I will be age 59 in September. Seems time in a trade or such and such will do that to some. Reduce one to a child as time runs along.
   
   I must share I had to look up self-abnegating to be sure I did not misunderstand. The fun part is I have a cognitive disability with short term memory. That is one reason why I do not use the forums. I can't remember what the statement or question is and the forums zip you to never - never land losing site of what you are posting to. At least questions you see and can stay focused.
   
   Well most of that was getting my thoughts in alignment to share a thought. Unselfishness and selfless are two similar words. Some say they are synonyms. I am not sure from a personal perspective. For that perspective a look into empathy versus sympathy may be a difference. Not sure, yet I do ponder with this free thought exercise you have offered.
   
   There is a difference with sympathy and empathy. One metaphorically does wear the others shoes seeking knowledge while the other does not. How to tie that to masochism is key I think, although not sure, is what is being sought. Masochism connotation is pain being sought for the relief of anxiety in its basic form. The key is anxiety.
   
   I see the picture and ponder its significance as how it connects. does handing money over have the same latitude as offering information as being unselfish or is it an act of selflessness. I ponder meaning.
   
   Since I am wandering I ponder is an unselfish person a realist, an opportunist, a pessimist, or confused. Which of those offers pain?
   
   tim

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3. 38

   Borsiaposted 11 years ago

   It depends on the level of unselfishness. If you give to the point that it negatively affects your own well being there is a masochistic element to it for sure.
   I've known people born to wealth who have a kind of "survivor's guilt" and will give away far more than they can afford to.
   On the other hand if you have a lot and you feel better helping someone out then sure why not.

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