What to do with forgetful spouse, even when he writes things down, and causes disappoint/stress?
You may discuss something for hours, he writes it down in his remember board, and nothing works.
Ask him what would help him to remember. Maybe there's only so much you can do. Some people have tricks that work for them.
Others struggle to remember the things that they really want to and end up slapping themselves after. Each person has to figure out what would work for them, what fits into their habits best.
Audrey, at our age my husband and I both laugh at it knowing that each day, one of us will forget something. We go to the grocery store to get one thing and we end up with a cartload of things but forget the one thing we went there for so we both laugh. It used to stress us.
Now, we send messages to each other or to ourselves. With cell phones that you can bring along, you just check your reminders and you'll remember the things you need to do.
What do you do if one or the other forgets to turn on the cell phone, and you cannot reach the person? You can buy home phones that will call from room to room. and that is so great. Laughter is great, Mary.Thanks. This is fun.
Audrey, my husband gets mad because I forget to bring my phone or I don't hear it. Really, just live with the fact that we do forget more often as we get older.
I have heard once that we forget more than we remember. There is as most know a specific field within psychology devoted to memory offering why we forget and how we can better remember. A short search and jump to an article about forgetting would be my recommendation. Consider memory type - sensory, short or working, and long term. Those have subdivisions too.
Trace decay - focuses that memory can only hold info for 15 - 30 seconds
Displacement - new information pushes out old information (Can occur in a few moments)
Interference - 1) Proactive means cannot learn something new because of something old 2) Retroactive or forget something previously learned by something new learned
Lack of consolidation - biological causes, i.e., amnesia, brain chemical balance, neurons & etc.
Retrieval failure - stored in long term memory & cannot be accessed
Context (External) Cues - for instance a house on a corner is blue and that is where you turn right on the road
State (Internal) dependent cues - similar circumstances to when first experienced / remembered triggers memory recall
A reminder is sometimes it is not the inability to recall itself. It is the confusion of all the memories that are familiar trying to be recalled. If you have a million lists in your head and someone says check your list you just wrote it down you may recall the lists, yet which one.
Having memory recall challenges myself I might respond to that with "which list". With humor I write stuff down on a 3x5 spiral pad. If I don't remember to bring the pad with me, then I simply do not recall what was written down. What is worse is if I don't wear a shirt with a pocket in it I will forget the spiral pad.
For me living alone I used those theories to discover which forgetting type affects me most. For instance if I am told more than 2 or 3 things to do I will forget the first thing. That is just the way it is. It will not change. So, I must write it down or if a list is given to me that helps. My old bosses could not accept that of me.
I finally made stations for myself in the home. I have a leaving the home station, I have a stuff to do at the desk station, I have a stuff to do at home station, and etc. I will most definitely remember to check those stations, however I can attest the likely hood of remembering what is at those stations is much less. I am sure my home looks weird inside because of that. But, it is patterned how I remember, not how someone else does.
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Sometimes the old string-around-the-finger works. Sometimes, though, the person can't remember why he/she has the string tied to the finger!
Raw, dark, leafy greens in the diet are very beneficial to aiding memory. You might also both try the specialized memory supplements available on the market. Gingko biloba is usually one ingredient.
Setting a list of things to do to a familiar tune might work for the specific day's tasks.
Very often, a person simply has too much on his mind. For that, I'll share two affirmations: I AM light, thou Christ in me, set my mind forever free. Violet Fire forever shine deep within this mind of mine. God who gives my daily bread with Violet Fire fill my head till thy radiance heaven-like makes my mind a mind of light! AND: I AM Presence, thou art master; I AM Presence, clear the way! Let thy light and all thy power take possession here this hour. Charge with Victory's mastery! Blaze blue lightning! Blaze thy substance into this thy form descend that perfection and its glory shall blaze forth and earth transcend! --courtesy Summit Lighthouse University
Whatever happens, it's never worth fretting over (been there, did that). At least your guy isn't doing the OPPOSITE of what you asked him to do (I know that one too). Blessings! ***
Many friends here have given so many advices and tips to capture memory. So, I do not find any extra tip than these.
I myself am also a victim of this forgetfulness. Morning think of something and by evening no thought of it as it erased already from memory soon after leaving that discussion.
I think, if one of us is empowered with more memory power, then the empowered person can remind the other at right time when it is to be got done. You give a call at the right and appropriate time and remind it so that it gets executed immediately without giving chance for forgetting.
But, if both of us are of same category, then God only can help.
You got that right, as the best result is for one person to have decent memory. Then sometimes that person goes into brain overload. At most times, that person can try to call the shots, as you say. That person must be tuned in to the need to do that
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