If you are a sensitive person and get feelings hurt, how can you overcome it for a happier life?
Look at your inner self. Find peace and confidence. Disturbances around you will not affect you. Instead you will start spreading love and positive energy
When I was younger, I was what I would call "hyper sensitive" and it was a detriment to be sure because I was too concerned with what others thought or afraid of rejection or being judged etc. As I got older I realized after trying to "fit in" that I was starting to resent others, and even life itself.
I didn't want to be angry or hurt anymore. Growing up in an abusive home, there tends to also be a cycle of "self abuse" and I had to learn to see that for what it was as well, and counteract my feelings with behavior modifications basically.
Mind and emotions should ideally work together in harmony and we humans tend to favor one or the other it seems . There are a lot of techniques you can use to start undoing some of that programming, but it's not easy.
I used to just remind myself - why does this person's opinion matter to me so much? In the grand cosmic scheme of things is what is upsetting me right now going to matter in a week? a month? If not, make a mental decision to let it go. When you start to feel hurt again, direct your mind to more positive behaviors or focus on something else and do so mindfully. In that way, you are taking power back over your feelings. It doesn't mean you lose your feelings or empathy, but that you are able to modify them.
I became happier when I formed proper boundaries with people and accepted that all of us humans are fallible, have flaws, and that it is often those very things that make us unique and special. No person on this planet is perfect, and no one should have the power over you to make you feel anything. When that happens, be mindful and redirect your energy (it's the only thing you have control of in life).
All my 57 years or less, I have been fighting this out.
And finally I have arrived at this opinion -
1. You are sensitive. That's good. Which means you care for others feelings & opinions.
2. But when somebody says something rude to you, do some introspection and see if it is true.
3. If no, try to tell yourself that the person is looking at his own selfish interests.
4. In such a case immerse yourself in a hobby you like very much. This may happen for hours/ days/ months.
5. When you emerge, you will find yourself very calm.
Best of luck.
My hubby always say hurting words when he is maf over trivial matters and i am very petty plus sensitive person. So, i ignore him, do my own chore, totally don't talk to him for a week and then i felt better, he too having a big gap felt better too.
Happens to me, Brake.
Indeed as we progress along the spiritual road, the inner Light highlights our failings, and we become even more sensitive, perhaps.
I find it better to be slow in response. Move away and recharge, so to speak. Things are very often then seen in a much better Light.
Actually, a lot of the time it is our own weaknesses coming to the fore. I feel that Spirituality is the transformation of one's own nature, and so I go away, look at myself, ask what I could have done better, then return with greater strength.
One can also respond immediately, but in the aftermath of being hurt, it is not always a wise thing to do. Pray, worship and rely on Grace. Much Peace.
One must develop mental armor. One must learn not to be dependent upon outside approval for such approval can be fickle. One must also develop high self-esteem. People with low self-esteem are dependent on others to validate them. If others invalidate them, they psychologically discombobulate & that is not psychologically & psychically healthy.
One must learn to look within for validation & approval. One has to accept oneself for all the positive & not so positive aspects. Most of all, one should consider oneself to be intelligent, capable, & full of potential. There is an adage that what one THINKS, one BECOMES!
One must have self-knowledge. In essence, KNOW who you are & act upon it. If one has self-knowledge & self-awareness, what other people say to & about him/her will not bother him/her in the least. Remember, only you know who you are & others have NO IDEA about you!
What really worked for me is realizing that when someone says something hurtful it's not about me , it's about themselves, it's how they feel. I guess that after a lot of inner work , I've understood that I can be sensitive, and i feel lucky for that. But it is a huge difference between being sensitive and being vulnerable, or insecure. I am aware of other people feelings, but I am also aware of who I am and the fact than nobody can hurt me if I am secure of myself. I understood that if I am hurt by someone else's opinions about me it's because deep down I believe the same about me. Get clear an honest with yourself about what you think about you, when you accept yourself completely , with flaws and qualities no one can hurt you, because you've accepted . And that acceptance gives you the freedom to overcome any limiting belief you may have. One book that helped me tremendously was " the science of making things happen". It wasn't easy , but it was totally worth it. Sensitivity it's not a synonymous of vulnerability or weakness, being sensitive it is actually a strenght, be grateful and proud for that, it's avirtue very needed in this times of senseless violence. You don't need anyone's approval, just yours. All the best!!
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