Any tip to help teenage girls overcome insecurities and build self esteem?
Try and get your teenage girl to join dance classes, sports, or clubs. I personally used to be extremely shy until I took some acting classes and forced myself yo be in-front of people. I soon learned to be more confident in everything I do. I think dance classes outside of the school would be best because it eliminates the school pier pressure and builds self esteem.
Whether the self-esteem is lacking in a boy or a girl it gets down to a matter of how they see themselves; their self image. We all need to have a self-image we can comfortably live with. The image is not us. But it is something we have created with our own habitual thinking, possibly based on the interpretation of the feedback we've been receiving from others and our own mind talk over the years.
Lot of good advice has been given in how to overcome this: books, papers, essays, CDs et cetera. It can become a fulltime, longterm job to keep improving oneself. However, a very tried and true method to do this is go gain good communicative skills. When you can communicate well your esteem naturally rises.
So my advice for a reasonably rapid fix would be for the young person - if 18 or over - to join a local Toastmasters Club, or something similar. Everyone in such a club starts off as a learner, is generally awkward, tongue-tied, and self-conscious. (well, many are) But after half a year to a year or so one can see their self-confidence soar. When a young person can stand up in front of an audience and present a story, even if it is only their own life story, they are well on their way to overcoming those self-imposed insecurities.
If under 18 and still at school, join the equivalent public speaking training and presentation skills type of group.
But whatever the age, my advice: give it a go.
I would advise teenage girls to get involved in areas of interest such as drama club, little theatre group volunteer, etc. Discover where their talents lie: perhaps in art, or speech,or in some sports activity. Getting active in any or several of these endeavors will build self-confidence, self esteem, and a definite belief in one's self worth. Our esteem comes from our sense of accomplishment. Someone who does this will develop leadership skills without seeming to and will be less likely to make bad decisions or get in with the "wrong" crowd. GClark P.S. Do not understand why my answer doesn't show both vote up and vote down. Asked this before and didn't get a clear answer and have encountered the same problem.
Bubbles of growth to youthfulness ignites two things in them - physically they develop sexual desires out of curiosity, and mentally they wish to rush to a full-fledged life as women. Since, both of these need them to wait, they get impatient and hence the feeling of insecurity in them.
Solution to their feeling of insecurity and developing self-esteem lie in seeding career aspirations in them apart from their being just future mothers of humanity. Career aspirations divert their minds from exhibitionism of just being symbols of sex and fashionable models.
I am a male respondent. I can remember wanting my daughters to develop as strong individuals with a good self concept. From the time they were born I tried to get them engaged in whatever they were doing. Whether it was sports at school, academics, or music and arts, the idea was to to work at it with a serious mind if they enjoyed it. If an activity started out as boring, I was not enthusiastic about supporting it. They found their niches and that is what I supported them in. You will be able to tell what energizes your daughter and what appeals. At that point, the activity is something you need to support. When a young person becomes confident in an activity, it increases self-esteem immensley. In my case, the girls were involved in music, dance, and drawing. Let them know what you like about the activity, how impressed you were with the results (if you were), and let them know your enthusiasm is genuine. When my kids found something they enjoyed, I was a happy camper, too!
Being aware of what will help them feel in place at school is another important item. Do your best to help your kids fit in. Encourage friendships when they should be encouraged, make sure you are sensitive to fashion trends and accomodate what you can. Anything that lifts their spirits helps to build self esteem. Good luck.
1.Buy her an electric guitar. 2.Tell her to start a new chick band.3. Be very supportive, both psychologically and financially. 4. Go to all of her shows.
Knowing that parents know her inside out and love her anyway is of great help. Knowing that God does is of even greater help, but obviously only if she believes it.
Finding and developing any one thing she can do better than most of her peers, that is a worthwhile and/or impressive thing, especially if it involves something feminine, and also if it involves friends who like her for herself rather than her social position...that will produce a lot of confidence.
For me that was cross-country running (not particularly feminine, but it worked.)
To overcome insecurities, do not think less of yourself.Bear in mind that everybody is unique and that we are all equal. Nobody is above anyone, maybe you are not good in some areas but of course you have your own ability to be proud of.Never compare your self, and when you're around people look straight and heads up.One way to build self esteem is be confident and believe in yourself.And always bear in mind, you are who you are and we are all unique.
If you tell someone they are God's creation, I find with my daughter that helps, but I believe you must instill that at a young age. THey are not their eyes, their eyelashes, arms or legs, they are simply something God created. It helped me in my twenties, but once again, that was different.
Try to get them to see their good sides and by that I mean their good qualities, not their accomplishments or how they look or how well they succeed in sports. They need to praise themselves for how they are as people. If they can give themselves confirmation they do not need confirmation from others so desperately!
I think the approach of helping them would depend on many different factors, such as the girl's circumstances. Most teen girls have a certain amount of insecurities about themselves and at the same time, an insecurity issue can become a clinical problem if not solved in time and in the appropriate manner. Some would respond to a certain method differently compared to another, since the cause of their insecurities can originate from different sources. If I knew more about the girls you are thinking of helping it would be easier to give a clearer opinion. However, the 1 thing that definitely helps all teens is to have at least a tiny little belief in God, especially to know about the attributes of God.
what i tell my daughters when they are feeling down is that they are good at certain things and not at others. it's just part of living. i show them what their skills are and tell them that over time they will get even better . i will also show them how someone who every one thinks is amazing isn't any better then they are. celebrities are great examples. britney spears, lohan, etc. these girls had life by the balls and screwed up time and time again.
Listen to her, without judgment. What are her interests? What makes her eyes sparkle when she is talking about it? What would she like to do, learn and/or try? How can you two make that a possibility?
How is your self-esteem? Do you need some work on it? When a child sees a parent working on improving themselves, they are being shown any thing is possible. It actually opens another door for them.
Best of luck
The key to helping girls with self esteem and confidence come through faith, humility and acceptance. Faith in knowing who they are and that there is a purpose for them being here. Humility in being brave enough to admit to mistakes and acceptance knowing that every decision made has consequnces. Also that ultimately the only thing you can control is yourself. How you think, answer and respond is entirely in your hands. Being validated by a family member or friend helps to build confidence and this should start an early age. Yet you must learn to define who you are and what you want to be. You have control and must learn never to relinquish it to anyone. The only exception would be trusting in GOD.
All of these answers sound good. It is so lovely to see everyone reaching out to care for another.
I am reading Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden. It is a book that can be ordered at www.amazon.com for around $5 dollars. It will be mailed to you.
It is the defining work on Self-Esteem and I am recommending it because I believe a solid understanding in what self-esteem IS is the best way to achieve it. These internal pillars will build a strong foundation for life, because sometimes our best teachers don't always have what we need to learn.
Bravo for a great question!
Self esteem...personally, I believe that we have all become selfish in striving for better self esteem. I find what has been helpful for myself as well as my daughter is to get involved with others that are less fortunate in life. There are many places to volunteer. It is helpful to others and without any effort lifts our own "self esteem". What is self esteem. How we esteem ourselves. If you do not feel good about yourself no wonderful comments from others is going to lift it. Get involved in the lives of others. Care for yourself but do not get so self absorbed. When we judge or compare ourselves to others we can feel lacking. We go by what we see. We judge others' lives to be good or better than ours but in reality we have no idea of what is taking place in their private lives.
Spend more time doing and less time thinking.
That's surely not an easy thing to do in this day and age of media bombardment with images of human perfection. I have no experience at raising daughters but I should think giving them the freedom to find their own way is very important.
What seemed to work best when my daughter was a teenager was completely trusting her. The more encouragement I gave, suggesting she trust her capabilities as much as I did, the more she lived up to it. With each experience her self-esteem, confidence and wisdom grew. She went on to complete her college education suma cum laude without getting involved in alcohol, drugs or bad crowds and is a few months away from achieving her PhD.
Not to be illusive, let me offer an example: when she was 15 she came to me saying she wanted to go to a party with a girl who had been a friend of hers. They'd grown apart because the friend got involved with an older jock into steroids (and thus alcohol, drugs, sex etc.). She regretted the void of their friendship but knew there would be alcohol at this party and she'd undoubtedly have to drink to "fit in". She was asking me what to do and instead of the usual response a parent might offer of "don't go" followed by the usual lecture of why not, I asked if she would drink because she was curious, or due to peer pressure. She said only the latter so I shared that if she took Vitamin B12, the effects would be diminished and she wouldn't have to worry about making a fool of herself or lose control etc.
She was delighted but when it came time to pay for the vitamins, I said it was up to her. "Up to me? Why is it up to me?" she asked. I said simply, "Because I'm not the one who can't say no." She took the vitamins, went to the party and no longer lamented not being in that crowd. From then on too, she took pride in her strength of simply saying "no".
Naturally, from that time on, I could trust her to say no and act responsibly, commending her regularly for it. She was allowed to go to parties others might not have been. In other words, she earned her trust and lived up to it as a teenager, and on to responsible adulthood.
I know what I personaly would have liked was for someone to believe in me. Just letting a teen girl know that she is loved (especially by her family) and that it's ok that she's not perfect is a great great help. Be supportive, tell her she's beautiful often, and encourage her to be exactly who she is. Encourage her to pursue her dreams and to take advantage of helpful opportunities but also listen to what she has to say.
One thing a teenage girl must understand is that self esteem has nothing to do with what she sees in the mirror. Nothing at all, and that truth is amazingly liberating! There must be a knowledge of the difference between the real (inner person) and the external image we convey to all. I have in my long life and experience, been totally amazed by people who do not seem to have been anything outstanding at all in their looks and yet, due to an inner confidence they acquired have been able to get the man they wanted and become a success in every way. This fact must be realized that the inner self is the strong one, the motor that will help us in all circumstances. This self esteem can be built up by giving teenagers access to articles on self help. Reading does help a person to realize that the outer circumstances are the reflection of the inner confidence. Also, success breeds success. Parents should always be very aware of how important praise is...starting from small things well done. If you can channel daughters or teenage girls into activities that they have a passion for and they enjoy, they will end up being good at these things and small successes are wonderful confidence builders. It is good for teenagers to know that they are not alone and that so many adults suffer from a feeling of low esteem as well, They should be told also that low esteeem brings with it circumstances that are negative. Constant reading of motivational material can be really helpful and channelling activities which are most likely to have a positive outcome so that you can comment positively on them.
Teenage girls need encouragement and positive reinforcement from ordinary women in their schools and their neighborhoods and communities. That would be their moms, teachers, counselors, gym instructors etc. I say this because from an early age they are bombarded with unrealistic photo shopped images of models and women who all look a certain way. These young girls get the misguided impression that this is what they should be aspiring to look like, but in order to help them to build self esteem the women who have the most opportunity to impact their lives should be pointing out some key pieces of information to these teenage girls.
1. That they are transitioning physiologically and that their bodies are still changing. So the acne and the other developmental humbugs will all go away.
2. That not all women look the same. That beauty is not defined as only one kind of appearance and neither is it only about the way you look. There are short, tall, black, white, skinny, plus-sized, short haired, long haired, and brown or blue eyed women and they are all beautiful.
3. That beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and that true beauty is lasting and not just what you look like. Young girls need to understand and appreciate the uniqueness of their own appearance and their strengths and capabilities.
4. We might as well also face the fact that teenage girls are into boys and some boys are cruel and do not provide any positive reinforcement, so teenage girls have to get it in their heads very early that the right man will love them just the way they are.
5. They have to also understand that the teenage years is the time to work on their academic aspirations as well as create the foundation to be a strong and independent woman. That in itself is an attractive quality.
Teenagers face challenges daily. Girls may feel awkward and insecure. They second guess themselves. There are so many choices and decisions to make. Sometimes life seems uncertain.
I would advise that a teenager (girl or boy) begin to form good habits. Read inspiring materials every night before bed. Look to authors like Stephen Covey and his "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens," or "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul" by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Kimberly Kirkberger. (I replace these books more often than any inside my classroom library.) Get involved in clubs like choir or drama. Write. Finally, surround yourself with other teenagers who have positive goals in and beyond high school.
As an overweight teenager in the 1970's, when it wasn't as prevalent as it is today, I also wore braces and glasses. I will leave it to your imagination as to the amount of ridicule that I endured.
My mother didn't help much because she had suffered with an inferiority complex her entire life. What did help me was reading a book called "The Power of Positive Thinking", by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. It is an old book now, so I will just give the part that I latched on to.
Dr. Peale described himself in college as having such an inferiority complex, that whenever the professor called on him in class, he stammered and stuttered and couldn't get the words out, even though he knew the answer. One day, the professor asked him to stay after class and addressed the situation. He told Peale that he knew that Peale knew the answers, and asked him why he couldn't speak up in class. As I recall the story, the professor really didn't wait for Dr. Peale to answer. He just gave him a good talking to and told him not to be so self-involved that he thought everyone was ridiculing him. He told Peale that most people really don't have time to pay so much attention to what other people were doing, and to remember that we are all equal when we come into this world, and we are really all the same.
Now, all of this didn't work immediately for me because I was in the seventh grade when I read the book, but it took hold, and I realized over time that there are always going to be people who look around and try to belittle others. This is unfortunate, but the thing to remember is that the type of person who does this is more insecure than the person that they are ridiculing. The trick is to develop the confidence in oneself to the point that when others try to ridicule or belittle us, we can see it for what it is and move forward. The most important thing to remember is that the opinion that matters the most about who we are is our own opinion.
Developing self-esteem will come with development of gifts and abilities, so that will also help a teenaged girl who is feeling insecure. It is also important not to admire the actresses and models for their skinny body styles and to emphasize that we all come in different shapes and sizes, but the most important aspect of a person is not on the outside.
Moira, you've received a heap of answers to your question, but no word from you - have you tried any of these strategies in the past? Has anything worked previously? Is it YOUR daughter? or do you work with teenage girls? Is the girl(s) painfully shy? or refuses support? all these things make a difference
Write me on facebook. I can help your daughter if there is really a problem. id: ron gego
Work on self-acceptance. Once you accept yourself, it sticks. Self-esteem is fleeting and situation-dependent, so it rises and falls with each moment.
Let them know their inner worth. Let them know you love them. Be there for them and embrace who they are. Encourage them to follow their dreams. Have them be surrounded by positive influences. Give them space to work out their problems. Be there for them if they need someone to talk to. Love them unconditionally. Let them know that at the end of the day, it's what they think about themself that matters. Sure there's the media and its negative messages, but that's just the way life is. But a person CAN still be really confident. Reading is a good thing for people to do.
At ages 12 through 18 the teenager's limbic system development is on override, This is the part of the brain that is responsible for our emotions. This makes them very sensitive. This is their second "Me" stage, the first being the first one occurs when they are toddlers. This is an important time in their emotional development. Many teenagers think everyone is looking at them (even when no one is) and they should have positive encouragement from parents and peers. Hopefully at this time the adolescent has a close bond with a friend to share any problems with as well as open communication with parents. The best you can do for them is remember to point out their accomplishments andencouraging involvement in their community is great too. For example church, volunteering, charity events, sports and music. They will gain a feeling of accomplishment and engagement. Lastly, let them know that they will overcome these feelings and their current and future holds great things
Having a good relationship with your parents goes a long way, if you're having troubles at school, be it with friends, insecurities, being bullied, nothing is better than being able to come home and completely vent/cry/laugh with your parent/s about what is troubling you. Everyone is different, and have different bodies etc. so you should always try to look at each situation individually, and try to remember that, everyone has their insecurities, but most of the time it's hardly noticed by others around them, and bullies can be bullies because they are afraid or have low self esteem themselves.
My golden rule to remember is: treat others the way you would want to be treated.
I was a mess as a teenager. I was suicidal, introverted, and impressionable. I would look in the mirror, but not like what looked back at me. I had been abused, so I had no self-worth of my own body. I felt like whatever someone wanted to do to me was okay. This was my purpose in being here--I was a total mistake that slipped through. If there was a low feeling, I could beat it with no competition hands down.
I found God, yes. But in that I found me. I learned it is all perspective: my perspective towards me. This goes for everyone. As I grew older I realized that the very ones who seemed to have it all, really didn't. They picked on me to make themself feel good. This also took the microscope off themself to keep from being revealed to others. I also learned how many others were following them because they were scared and insecure as well. Popular is over-rate.Then I stepped out of the craziness and started assessing who I am: my beauty, my gifts, my abilities, my dreams, my goals, my wants...my life. A life that only I can live. No one has the right or authority to take it away from me. A person can't live in more than one body at a time. It is impossible. I started realizing they are priviledged to be in my associations because I am a good and likeable person. If I can't help you, I sure won't hurt you. I have my own style, my own personality, my own genre. Accept me as I am, or keep it moving. I am a priceless because there is not another me. Don't accept me, it's your loss. I do not follow the crowd, because a pack leader may be detrimental to my state of well being. When I love me I will attract others who love themselves, then we can love one another and be true friends. This has been a long journey. What I have related IS my true life. I am 53 enjoying dancing to the beat of my own music. I look in the mirror and tell myself how I love me and how gorgeous I am . I work on my passion. These are where my gifts and abilities are. I accept what I can and cannot do. If there is something I want to do that I can't, I learn to do it my way, in my style. I take compliments and say thank you. I surround myself in positive and run from negative. I am not taking myself so serious. Most of the time it is not as deep as we make it. Also whatever it, most of the time, will pass. Life continues to go on and balance itself out with a positive attitude. Find the good. The hardest moments pass because time never stop, it goes on. The good moments always come back.
From, WATERSTAR,This question is a world wide BIGGIE, and This Problem Is Really Very Simple in years Long Long Ago and All over the World In every Country and in many small Villages the Problem of insecurities and low self esteem was of few little problems with a very small portion of the population of Teenagers, Because everything stem from HOME BASE, in many many Homes Children Woke UP IN THE MORNING And AT THE KITCHEN TABLE THERE WAS AN ENCOURAGING PROUD DAD AND A CARING MOTHER, THAT EVERY CHILD KNOW SOMEONE WAS LOOKING OUT FOR THEIR BEST INTREST EVEN IF DAD YELL A LITTLE THE CHILDREN DID KNOW THEIR FATHER LOVE THEM, BACK IN THOSE DAYS MOM AND DAD MAKE SURE THEIR CHILDREN HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THERE IS A HIGHER POWER GOD, THEY USE TO BRING THERE CHILDREN TO CHURCH TO LEARN GOOD CHRISTIAN VALUES HOW TO RESPECT GOD HOW TO RESPECT DAD AND MOM HOW TO HAVE RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE AND HOW TO TAKE PRIDE IN DOING DAILY WORK AROUND THE HOUSE HOW TO DELEVER NEWS PAPERS AND FLYERS TO HAVE RESPECT FOR A DOLLAR EARN, HOW TO GIVE THANKS TO GOD HOW TO GIVE THANKS TO THE THINGS DAD AND MOM WORK HARD SO THEY CAN ENJOY, GOOD FOOD ON THE TABLE,and if LUCKY A second hand CAR TO DRIVE THEM HERE AND THERE, a little extra money in pocket to send them to piano Lesson Hockey Camp, Soccer Camp WITH A big smile and a thank you DAD AND MOM, BUT in THESE MODERN END TIMES, MOST FAMALIES CANNOT FORGIVE EACH OTHER FOR SMALL NONSENSE LITTLE PROBLEM SO THEY HURLY RUN TO THE DEVORCE COURT TO DESTROY THE ONE TIME LOVING HOME WITH A LITTLE PIECE OF PAPER CALLED THE DEVORCE PAPER AN IN MOST CASES ONE OR BOTH PARTY FIND THEMSELF END UP WITH THE POOR AND LONLEY AND IN ALMOST 99% OF THE TIME THE CHILDREN END UP SUFFERING THE MOST, to give a note each girl or boy must know that inspite of all they still have at least One true Person that Love Them JESUS, he is the Best Comforter for a Lonley Heart, and he Will always Lead You In A Good Direction, Go Find a few Good Friends in A Lively Bible Beliving Church and pick up the good habits and ignore the bad habits, Tell Yourself i am Beautiful Because Everything GOD made He Said it is GOOD and Beautiful and nobody could make you BUT GOD and in the Book of ST. JOHN Chapter 3 Read He prove his Love Just For You. and its aways a good idea to keep Healthy go join Phy Ed or a favorite Sport Club And Stay Active ,Eat Heatly have Fun at Public Swimming Pool at A Small cost after school and also on weekend, Pray And give Thanks to Jesus.BY WATERSTAR:
In America, teenagers find a myriad of mixed messages about daily life. Teens are punished for doing good after being told to take those specific actions. Others kill themselves. Adults can help. read more
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