If you're a person who carries great sadness, how do you stop yourself from thin

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   Billie Kelpinposted 9 years ago

   If you're a person who carries great sadness, how do you stop yourself from thinking about it?
   
   What are strategies you use to cope with the sadness and regret of your life?  Everyone experiences grief and some people can go past it.  Keeping yourself busy with productive, meaningful work and thinking of others seems to be the answer to grieving, but sometimes some grief is just too hard to get past for some people.  Do you have any magic solutions?

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   Fahad ansari12posted 9 years ago

   "In every negative, it is possible to find a positive. Sometimes it is hard to find, but don't give up looking for it, and once you find it, don't forget it." Well said someone which helped me a lot to came out from the ditch of sadness. But it is not only a thought which would help you from this. But you do need to follow some steps which helped me and so it could help you.
   .         First of all, share you feeling with someone who is closer to you. Because, sharing you feelings will reduce your pain. And there is also a magical way to forget you sadness-- take out a notebook and write you feelings, your sadness and everything which is related to it. It will extract the sadness from your mind to the paper somewhat. And teach your mind that there is always a lesson in problems and sadness. Try to find that and move on. And lastly, try to find the things which make you happy, especially small things like ice cream, video games, etc. These small happiness means a lot to us. So, "Enjoy the little things." I hope this will help you.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Fahad,  Thank you!  very helpful...1. You're right. There are positives that came out of my experience.  2. I haven't written about the sadness in a personal way for a long time.  After your suggestion, I think I'll do that., You're very kind.

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   fpherj48posted 9 years ago

   Billie....I have no magic solutions.  By now, I'm sure I'd have discovered one. However, as I have come to simply accept, there are some individuals with particular grief so real, palpable and insurmountable, it literally becomes an integral part of our very being.  You can believe me, Billie.  I am one of them.  I conceded this years ago, so that I could learn to take one step after another and "live" in spite of the permanent grief...
   I learned it is possible, although ..like practicing the piano long enough to be able to play blindfolded...and you can still hear the music, to know that however dead within, we're still alive.......Peace, Paula

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      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Paula, Thank you for sharing that. I especially like the approach of simply accepting that I am one of those individuals where the grief is integral part of me. Constantly resisting what something is, takes more energy than accepting it Thank you!

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      fpherj48posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I see you are able to understand this and I'm proud of you.  There are more people like us than U can imagine.  Existing day to day while carrying overwhelming grief. It becomes second nature.  We are strong.

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   themiddlechildposted 9 years ago

   I find that any form of sadness or depressive tendencies requires one to do something that would bring about the opposite feelings. I personally use meditation, certain foods change the chemicals in the body which may lift the mood. Physical exercise is almost always recommended. These are common examples.
   
   However, ultimately one has to gain perspective on the situation and process the feelings associated with it if you are to deal with grief in an effective way. Seek professional counseling if all else fails.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Sharon-Rose Vice, I did find a new counselor. (My old one didn't take Medicare and we lost our insurance when my husband retired. I'd be interested in a hub article about the foods. I'll have to check if you have one. Cheers and thank you!

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   junksellerposted 9 years ago

   I repeatedly punch myself in the ribs really, really hard until all that remains is pain. Works wonders (for the sadness), but probably is not so great for internal organs.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      LOL!  I do think humor is a great way of coping (maybe punching yourself in the ribs - not so much!)  You made me smile!  Thanks, J

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   jagjouposted 9 years ago

   Life is all about going through..not going over. Pray to god to give you the strength to face it calmly and just overcome.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Jagadees - I think the "going through" not "not going over" - a very nice image - Thank you!

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   Edward J. Palumboposted 9 years ago

   Unfortunately, I have no solutions. There are issues I can better accept now than when I was younger, but grief must be contended with, worked through, endured for a time. With the foreknowledge that time will distance me from the acute sense of loss, I try to focus elsewhere and fill that time. To focus on myself is to wallow in grief, and that is pointless. I look to issues that put my sadness in perspective, and it helps to volunteer within the community, to have objectives or projects. It may be an evening class, a writing project, a photographic goal, a design effort, something requiring planning and preparation, because that takes time and attention. At a time of sadness, one does well to avoid depressing people, negative thinkers and angry attitudes. Grief is unavoidable; we live in vulnerable bodies and we will encounter losses, but it is part of the journey of life and we do well to speed past it, get beyond it. We do not live in a vacuum, and other friends or relatives may be affected by the same loss, so we do well to support them. A shared grief is easier to bear. Briefly, we deal best with grief if our focus is outward, not inward. I wish I had a cure-all, a wise solution, but grief is a very personal and individual experience. I can only tell you what has worked for me.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Very well put, Edward!  Thank you!

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