At this moment just awakening I feel young. In about 5 - 6 hours I will feel old.
Old. I have wisdom, I complain, and my back hurts ha ha. Stereotypical old person and I'm only 19.
The father of one of my best friends died this month. There was a gigantic gathering every night of the week at his home. Lots of drinking and eating, stories and crying. Lots of folks talking for the first time in a while.
Anyway, there were girls there who were too young for me but who used to hit on me a lot when I was in my early 20s. One of those girls is now a grandmother with an infant grandchild.
I can hardly believe how much everyone has aged, and here I sit with nothing accomplished. Well, I am certain I look older. Most of my hair is gone. But other than that, I feel about the same as I did when I was 30, 13 years ago.
Grace....Of UR many questions, this may be the perfect one, IMHO. I "Feel" both young at times, old at other times & on rare occasions, half dead!
In simple language, I am N-O-T a morning person. Haven't been 4 at least 20 yrs. Prior 2 that, I had no choice but 2 force myself 2B as pleasant & active a morning person as possible~~& I resented every second of it. LOL
I don't know if it's "old," that I'm feeling in the morning, but whatever it is, it isn't perky, talkative or joyful..(grateful perhaps that I woke 2 another day, but that's as positive as I can B) I suppose I could B described as "old" because I don't speak, I grunt & motion. I move like a turtle & my strong advice is do not under any circumstances attempt 2 rush me.
There's a precise moment I feel the youthful me coming into focus. Then I slowly blossom into a young woman, ready 2 tackle the world or at least make every moment matter in some meaningful way..
I feel very young when I'm out & about, dealing w/ people, accomplishing things that R productive to me & maybe even the world, smiling & laughing a lot. Children always make me feel young & I spend much time w/ them throughout my day, having a dozen grandchildren.
The frugal me wins out over the vain me when I'm shopping & quietly ask 4 my Senior Citizen discount.& damn it, it does make me feel old, just like going out 2 dinner 4 "The Early Bird Special!!"
When my body is aching of course I begin 2 focus on feeling old & may even get "grumpy." There's a reason why "Scrooge" was not a young man!"
I had a horrible surge of Elder Blues the other day when I realized that 4 the majority of my life I had ONE Dr, whom I rarely saw. Suddenly, I have 5 Drs.! WTH?? 5 Drs & I'll bet their combined ages doesn't equal mine.
Ohhhhhh...woe is me.
I won't talk about the times I feel half-dead...I don't care 2 give that story any life!
Quite the contrary. I'll close here by telling U the experience that had me so happy, I floated 3 feet off the ground. The evening of my 50th HS reunion, as I approached the doorman at the building entrance, I asked him which direction 2 the class reunion & & he motioned 2 the left. As I neared the room, I saw the big sign that read "DHS Class of 1986".I walked back over 2 the doorman, put my arms around him & planted a huge kiss on his cheek. I said, "Don't U move, I'll be back & I'm taking U home w/ me! Now, which way to the Class of 1966?" He touched his cheek & pointed down the hall. LOL
Depends on the time of day, the day, and the amount of sunlight. Sunny days, I feel on top of the world; too many gloomy days in a row and I'm dragging along. I do feel mentally young; I see people around me getting ready for retirement and I'm raring to go.
by Kevin Peter 5 years ago
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