This was my situation. It doesn't matter if it is a spouse, a partner, a significant other, a lover. It doesn't matter if you were married, engaged, dating, divorced, separated, fighting. What does matter is that if you ever have the misfortune of being in this situation, you probably have an enormous amount of guilt. I know that many people have this same emotion from every suicide, but this is a special type of guilt. We who are left to survive, to make sense of this situation are faced with that ultimate question: "Would he/she have done this if I hadn't...." {fought with them, separated from them, divorced them, cheated on them}.... fill in the blank for yourself.
I don't have the answer to this question, but I know two things for sure. One, my going back probably would have delayed his suicide. He did not know how to admit his mental illness much less deal with his emotions. Two, I would have probably had a very sad existence. I had a counselor explain it to me in this way; "When you met him, your glass was full, full of your energy, your love. Every day you gave him a drop from your glass to fill it with energy and love for him. Eventually, his glass was full, and yours was empty." Yes, it would have been a lonely, depressing, possibly unbearable existence if I had gone back for the wrong reasons.
If you are an SPSOS (Survivor, Partner, Signficant Other of Suicide), you too have probably have run the gamut of these emotions. Know that YOU are not alone, YOU are a survivor, and YOU have a bright future ahead of you. Peace and love....
Hmmm well i witnessed who have committed & thought about suicide, The people that have witnessed a lost of a friend, love, or family to Suicide feel like it is their fault for not stopping it..Teenagers now a days are thinking of Suicide as a easy way out of their problem & i don' t think that is right way to go. I think those who committed suicide aren't thinking about those who they are leaving behind & the things that make them smile. They are only thinking about the things that make them upset & the things others say about them.
Definately make a hub. I'd pull this forum thread down and past it into a hub, expand on the ideas. Add a few pictures and you'll have an amazing, powerful hub.
spsos - Thank you for sharing this experience with us. I hope you have moved on. It was definitely not your fault as everyone is responsible for their own well-being and we can't be centered on other people.
Thanks everyone, I actually have started a hub, called spsos, my acronym for Spouses, Partners and Significant Others of Suicide. It is a group I would ultimately like to expand upon and turn it into a non-profit or self-help book, or something else to help others. I also have a cause on facebook, spsos. I appreciate your kind words and would love to share my story with anyone and everyone who could value from my experience.
Me again, I am just thinking that my hub is based on my story more than the underlying guilt/questioning. What do you think, should I make another hub with the feelings and such, keeping my original hub just my story? I am brand spanking new to this hub thing and blogging in general. Thanks in advance for your advice and help!
spsos, HubPages is not a blogging site. It's a place to write informative articles. So articles exploring this topic are probably more appropriate, using your personal story to illustrate them.
I think this is a great topic to write a hub, or a group of hubs on.
Just recently, the daughter of a friend of mine found herself in a similar situation.
She'd left her partner because things at home were really difficult, and then he committed suicide!
The thing is, as you well know, if they were going to commit suicide they will do it anyway. It is THEIR mental problem that pushed them to do it, not yours. You did what you could, but sometimes the burden is too much.
I'm sure hubs on this very subject would be very helpful to the newly bereaved who find themselves in this situation.
This is the focus of my work. Preventing suicide. I see folks with suicidal ideas, thoughts, or plans to end their life. There's no way to tell, for sure, if someone is actually going to go through with it. If somebody really wants to end it, they won't tell anyone. Of my 3 years working in crisis services, I've only lost one client to suicide. It was difficult, but I realize I did everything in my power to prevent it, even getting him in to see a psychiatrist immediately. But he still did it. My heart goes out to anyone dealing with this situation.
by Shellee Lyn 14 years ago
"We Don't Notice"We don't notice until they are goneDo we all feel invisible after so long?Suddenly there are questions, Which we have no answers toWhere do we end up....All I can see is youI can understand The anger, resentment, & painI know not even your worries were in vainPlease...
by seanorjohn 12 years ago
Of course I won't but how would you react to someone who threatens to do this. Someone I know, fairly well, committed suicide this year. He had money worries and I feel really guilty that I did not take up his offer of carpentry work from a flier he put through my letterbox. I didn't know he was in...
by Lilbittybetty 6 years ago
What happened to Chris Hansen and "To Catch A Predator"?I was watching a parody on South Park regarding Chris Hansen. I am curious now. What really happened to 'To Catch A Predator' ? I thought it was a show that was helping children. I thought they were trying to take...
by Nicole 11 years ago
Do you know anyone who has committed suicide?two days ago I found out someone I went to high school with committed suicide. It was unbelievable and left me speechless. We were friends, a little more than acquaintances, and I always had a crush on him. If I can't find words for this, only disbelief,...
by Jacob 12 years ago
What is the Christian view of suicide? What does the Bible say about suicide?
by Audrey Selig 12 years ago
A popular dentist committed suicide Do you think a person is in such pain they can't see a way out?He had the love of the entire community. Does love not deter people these days?
Copyright © 2025 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2025 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |