Today is the day and I'm scared

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   Crazdwriterposted 12 years ago

   I was thinking last night that it's nothing but now...I am awake and scared half to death. My stomach is in knots and is starting to hurt because of nerves.
   
   i have to really start chugging water around 1:15pm and not go to the bathroom...my appointment is at 2:45 and I have to be there at 2:30.
   
   THANKFULLY my husband is going to be going wtih me and that eases some of the nerves but still scared shitless and really really nervous. Don't even know if I'll even be able to eat because of my nerves.

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      Greek Oneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      sorry.. what are you scared of?

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         Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I have to go in to get an ultrasound done because the doctor felt that my left side of my pelvis is fuller than the right. and then also he ahd called and told me that my white blood cell count is high....so yea don't know what in the world is going on with me....

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            Greek Oneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            don't assume the worst..
            
            often it is the anxiety of worry that gets us more ill than the results of the tests themselves

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               Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               that is too true...but of course it's hard not to worry....

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                  Greek Oneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  that's why the human mind is a #$@%@^^@$^@

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                     Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     LMAO that is too true Greek too true

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            Justine76posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            its common for white blood cell count to be high if your fighting an infection/virus. The ultra sound will be over pretty quick, and hubby will be wth you. Those are all good things. After you get to go to the bathroom, I bet youll eb mighty hungry!!!

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               Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Oh yea I'm going to make sure I have a snack in my car waiting for me
               
               and he asked me if I was dealing with the side affects of having the high count so he thinks that it is just a mistake and that it was contaimnated.

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            Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            omg, that's terrible.  i'm  sorry to hear that's happened to you. i hope you'll be okay cw. (hugs you)

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               Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Thanks Steven...

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                  Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  your welcome.  what are friends for?  i'm sure you'll be okay. just try to think positive.

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                     Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     Trying hard to think positive...

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                        Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                        you said  the doctors are just going to test to see what's wrong with you right?  your not going in for an operation right now are you?

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            Deborah Sextonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Ovarian cyst maybe?

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               Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               I'm HOPING not but maybe...

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                  JeanMeriamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  I used to get them when I was young. Birth control pills made it go away. It wasn't that bad at all.
                  
                  I'm hoping for you that it is something simple. The results come back from ultrasounds fairly quickly so you at least won't have too long to worry.

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                     Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     oo sorry you had to deal with that when you were younger

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      cosetteposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      you're so lucky to have such a loving, caring husband. when i had that done (and other even painful procedures), i had to go it alone. just take deep cleansing breaths and hold your husband's hand and try to push negative thoughts from your mind and you will be all right. good luck

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         Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Oh Cosette I am so sorry that you had to do procedures on ur own. *hugs* you are definitely a strong woman.

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      seanorjohnposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I will pray that everything turns out well and that you sleep well tonight.

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         Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks seanorjohn Appreciate that

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   Brenda Durhamposted 12 years ago

   Aww I'm sorry;  I know it's nerve-wracking;  but try to think positive; Glad hubby will be with you!
   I'm still praying for a good report from the dr. for ya.

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      Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Brenda...totally appreciate it...

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   lynnechandlerposted 12 years ago

   CW keep your chin up and all that jazz. I hope things go well but keep in mind you may not get an answer today so don't get too worked up. It's just a test to see if they can determine what is going on and may have to be sent back to the doctor who will have to look at it and see if he can determine what is going on. I wish you a speedy discovery though.

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      Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks lynne I hope that I get the results back fast too...I hate waiting.

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   frogdroppingposted 12 years ago

   Craz - hoping all goes well. I know it's so easy to panic. You're in good hands and all being well, you'll just have an infection or similar. Good luck - and keep us informed. You'll be fine, no matter what!

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      Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      thanks frog...I'll keep you posted definitely...I'll tell you guys how it felt not being able to pee for an hour too

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         frogdroppingposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Ahhh craz surely that can't be worse than drinking a gallon of water when heavily pregnant, then having the doc pressing down on your stomach - whilst trying not to pee the bed, during a scan.
         
         I love to say that I never failed to make it through the ultrasounds before I pee'd ...

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            Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Yea Izzy was telling me about that and I already have an idea. I'm gonna wear a pad when that happens to me

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      Cagsilposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'll agree with the little frog.

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         Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         lol thanks Cags

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   torimariposted 12 years ago

   Best of luck. Stay strong!

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      Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Torimari

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   Rafiniposted 12 years ago

   ((((good luck))))

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      Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Rafini..need all the luck I can to get me through this without freaking myself out too much

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         Rafiniposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         

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            Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            by the way love your pic...so beautiful

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   readytoescapeposted 12 years ago

   Many of us will be thinking of you today. I’m sure I can speak for all, in that we hope and pray all is well and that fear is the only real issue, and it is for naught.
   
   Sometimes Scotch works for that!

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   Crazdwriterposted 12 years ago

   Thanks ready...I appreciate that. and I too hope that the fear was for nothing....

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   alexandriaruthkposted 12 years ago

   I am prayimg for you, and HUGS!!

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      Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      thanks I needed that *hugs back*

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    prettydarkhorseposted 12 years ago

    hi crazd, i hope everything goes fine with you, HUGS very tight, Maita

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       Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Hey Maita thanks for that. been a while chica.

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    wordscribe41posted 12 years ago

    I'm thinking about you, too.  I'll bet it's just some sort of infection.  Just to calm you down, I just went through He** with problematic mammograms.  I was convinced I had cancer...  After a ridiculous amount of ultrasounds, more mammography and a biopsy all is well.  In medicine, they need to cast a wide net to catch anything, which of course sends off our alarm bells.  Just remember, many people have similar stories and all turned out well.  Not to mention, you're young.  Let us know what happened (if you're so inclined) when you get home.  Hugs to you!!!

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       Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Dang wordscribe. ur poor boobies! *hugs*

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          wordscribe41posted 12 years agoin reply to this

          I did get Tech (Nurse) Ratched for my final one.  Good grief, breasts aren't supposed to look like pancakes.  Ouch!

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             Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             Ouch is right! I dread the day when I have to get mamograms...no smoochy my boobies! lol

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    Stevennix2001posted 12 years ago

    the reason  why i ask is because it may not be as bad as you think, if they haven't tested you completely yet to weigh the options.  not trying to make light of your situation as i know it's serious. however, lets not assume the worse before the doctor says anything.

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       Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       yep just tests but even then it's hard to think positive and not worry...stupid doctors..why can't they find a way to NOT worry you when you have to get tests done? on docs lol

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       wordscribe41posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, my mom calls that "borrowing trouble" and I've finally gotten better at avoiding it.

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    Crazdwriterposted 12 years ago

    I know why this scares me so much..it's the simply fact that I am adopted and I don't know my egg donor or sperm donor nor do I ever want to...but I also don't know medical information about the two...so that is one big factor as to why I'm freaked out today over a simple test..

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    kirstenblogposted 12 years ago

    *hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs* ~Crazd~ *hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs*
    
    
    
    Lots of good wishes, love and cyber hugs to you hun! I hope everything works out ok

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    Crazdwriterposted 12 years ago

    Thank you so much Kristen I appreciate all the hugs and the kind words.

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       Faybe Bayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Here are some more ((HUGS)) Lots of them.
       
       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aur-tmqv-sw
       
       Breathe! Breathe (listen to music, watch video) Breathe Breathe.

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          Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          lol I'm breathing I swear Faybe..thanks

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    wordscribe41posted 12 years ago

    I can understand not having a familial medical history makes this a little more scary.  I think that's natural.  The good news about today is you will get the ultrsound results immediately instead of having to go back home and stew...  That's nice, b/c there's nothing worse than waiting for test results.

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       Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I will? someone said that I won't...

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          wordscribe41posted 12 years agoin reply to this

          With an ultrasound, you do.  I've had a lot of them, never had to wait for the results.  They have a radiologist look at it and you'll get the results.  It's not like an MRI where you do have to wait.

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             Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             oooo good then I won't have to freak out for longer until they give the results to my doc and all that

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                wordscribe41posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                Normally the sonographer talks to the radiologist.  Either the sonographer or the radiologist will come into the room to tell you the results.  I've NEVER had to wait for it to filter through my primary care physician.

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                   Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                   Oh thank goodness for that! BUT they better let me pee before they give me the results I'm thinking of wearing a pad just in case

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                      wordscribe41posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                      Oh... you can SO pee, no worries.    You sound just like me...  Plus, when I am nervous I have to pee like a race horse.  Are you seriously gonna sport a Depends?

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                         Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                         No not a depends just a regular pad 'cause ya never know. I do have the training of holding it for a long time (preschool teaching ) but still want to be prepared hahaha

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                            wordscribe41posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                            Enjoy your muscles down there while you still have 'em, CW.  Cuz, after kids OH, there is no laughing, coughing or jumping without an unfortunate consequence. 

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                               Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                               oh great! note to self...do not laugh, cough, or jump!

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                                  wordscribe41posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                  Kegels, get going! 

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    sabrebIadeposted 12 years ago

    I go through cancer tests every 3 months since I had it back in 2007.
    It's scary I know.
    See everything as coming back fine and feel the relief that you would feel if the DR told you that.
    My Daddy used to say not to worry about something until you had a reason to.
    I know that's easier said than done, but you gotta try.
    Heck, I practice answering the phone and hearing the nurse say everything is fine.
    And think about all the prayers and healing energy you are getting.

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       Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       thanks Sabreblade. I am sorry that you had to deal with cancer in your life. that is something I wish no one has to go through.

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          Faybe Bayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          You are drinking lots of water yes? Oh you are in California, hours yet! Keep breathing. are you allowed to eat?

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       Phillyfreeze69posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Hi Sabreblade,
       I am praying that your cancer stays in remission. Three week ago
       a dear friend of mine was diagnosed with lung cancer, fortunately it was diiscovered in time. She is at home recovering and going to her chemotherapy treatments. Keep a positive attitude and keep visualizing the nurse telling you the good news!

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    Ohmaposted 12 years ago

    Crazd I feel that everything will be just fine. My thoughts are with you!

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       Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks Ohma...I hope your feelings are right love the new pic by the way

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    Lynda Garyposted 12 years ago

    I agree with Deborah:  Sounds like an ovarian cyst. 
    
    We're thinking of you.  Make sure to post when you get home!
    
    By the way:  Worry / stress just makes it all worse.  Chill, darlin'    Slow, deep breaths.  Drop shoulders.  Inhale. Exhale.  Then make hubby take you out for a late lunch or early dinner.

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       Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       hmmmm that sounds like a good idea about making hubby take me out.
       
       and I will definietly post once I get home. I'm trying not to worry I swear!

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    kirstenblogposted 12 years ago

    I miss hijacking threads with you We will have to have some forum fun maybe during the next holiday We shall take over Mwahahaha!
    
    Let me know when you know everythings ok kay? *hugs*

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       Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       yea I miss those days too! we need to totally hijack a thread soon
       
       and will definitely let you know when I know.

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    Ohmaposted 12 years ago

    LOL yours too. and yes I have been very successful going by my gut feelings on many occasions.

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       Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       phew that helps a bit

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    Crazdwriterposted 12 years ago

    grrrr it's only 11:08 am...HURRY UP DANG IT!

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    stay_home_mommy3posted 12 years ago

    Hi!  I don't really know you, but found this, and I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and praying for you.  Medical tests are scary, but many times, they are all for nothing.  Take a BIG breath, and don't worry! 
    Let us know how it goes!

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       Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks SHM3 I appreciate that. and welcome to hubpages

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    myownworldposted 12 years ago

    Hope all goes well with you CW! I agree with wordscribe...once you've had a baby, ultra sounds seem like a piece of cake! So just lie back and relax and think happy thoughts.....

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       Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks MOW...but I can't think too positive I might fly away

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    cosetteposted 12 years ago

    hey, CW, just do this---it works:
    
    breath deep in (through your nose) with your mouth closed and count to 10.
    
    hold it for one second.
    
    breathe out while shaping your lips in an "O" shape to a count of 10.
    
    repeat this about five times and you will pump oxygen into your bloodstream and feel calm. i promise it works.
    
    ((hugs back))

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    Crazdwriterposted 12 years ago

    Thanks Cosette I'll definitely try that

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    cosetteposted 12 years ago

    i'll be thinking of you

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    Crazdwriterposted 12 years ago

    Thanks....just wish time would speed up a bit lol

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    Crazdwriterposted 12 years ago

    I now officially have two hours to go...and my body is NOT behaving itself AT ALL

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    Stevennix2001posted 12 years ago

    i'm sorry to hear that.  maybe you should lie down for a bit. some rest might do you some good. or take a hot shower to relax a bit.

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    Crazdwriterposted 12 years ago

    already too a hot shower and that helped a bit but then....that's when I found out my body was being a punk

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       Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       oh i see.....well why don't you try lying down for a bit. maybe if you get a quick nap in before seeing the doctor, it might calm you down a bit.

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          Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          If it was earlier than yea I would say I would do that but it is now 1:04pm here and I have to start drinking water...lots of it too lol

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             Faybe Bayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             I thought you were gone already. I'm watching the clock for you. LOL.

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                Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                lol I wish I was but nope time is CRAWLING right now it's not even funny And thanks tell the clock to hurry its arse up

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             Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

             oh i see.  im sorry to hear that.  well maybe you should do something to take your mind off of this.  it's probably just the stress getting to you. why don't you try reading a book or watching tv for a bit to take your mind off things.

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                Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                I'm watching LA Ink right now

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                   Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                   that's cool.  well, hopefully it'll take your mind off of this whole ordeal.

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                      Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                      I hope but I doubt it...when I stress and worry I stress and worry until I find out everything is okay or whatever...it's just how I am..
                      
                      Hubby HATES it! But that is how I am

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    Crazdwriterposted 12 years ago

    Well time to chug water and not allowed to pee I can do this...I can do this...I can do this...

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       Faybe Bayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Yeah as long as you don't laugh, you won't pee. or pixar either.

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          Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          don't start Faybe yer gonna make me laugh and have to pee now

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       H.C Porterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I hate that... I had to do that a few times during pregnancy-along with the dont eat after midnight cause you gotta have tests done the next morning... Telling a pregnant chick not to pee or not to eat for an extended period of time... Yeah right!
       BUT YOU CAN DO IT- Just dont think about waterfalls or dripping faucets

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          Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Oh thanks H.C. NOW I will think of those thankfully those don't make me need to pee more

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             Faybe Bayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             Well, it never rains in California, so you should be fine. I mean, it isn't going to rain, is it? I mean as long as you don't get wet, you should be fine...
             
             Maybe take an umbrella.

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                Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                FAYBE! HUSH!

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    H.C Porterposted 12 years ago

    Fingers Crossed for Good News!!!  Positive thoughts for you my dear 

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    Crazdwriterposted 12 years ago

    So if yu ever wonder where I got my mean streak from ...it's my mom
    
    I just texted her that I have to pee...she texted me bad with "too bad he he"
    
    Mean mommy!

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       Faybe Bayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       She sounds like me... maybe we are related.

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          Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Hmmm maybe we are

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    Crazdwriterposted 12 years ago

    Drank all the water I needed to..I think and now just waiting for hubby to come home and pick me up
    
    UGH i feel like i'm going to throw up seriously! More ways to torture the hell out of women

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       Faybe Bayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Yeah... That's was why I wondered if you could eat earlier. probably toast after will help. Toast is good for everything.

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          Crazdwriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          I made myself around 10...egg in toast 2 of them it was really good but now my tummy is pissed off great! Not waht I needed

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             Faybe Bayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             pixared off? Sorry.

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    Crazdwriterposted 12 years ago

    you are bad Faybe you are bad!

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       Faybe Bayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       We'll await your next post.

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    wordscribe41posted 12 years ago

    Good luck, CW.  You must be sloshing around by now.  Keep us posted, okay!

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