For those of you have read my first hub then you will know how things have been and for those who haven’t check it out. Monday I had two appointments one with the Therapist and one with the physiatrist and I kind of wanted to cancel the therapy appoint since I just saw her but, I decided to keep the appointment. In the morning I went to see the Therapist with my husband which I was shocked and excited at the same time because he doesn’t understand anything with mental health at all. But, he wanted to support me which makes the fear of him never coming home slowly goes away. I found that he was upset with me but never once thought about leaving me. This gave me a lot of relief. I am trying to learn to forgive myself but right now since I am having such a strong chemical imbalance I am having an issue with that and the anxiety and panic attacks are an ongoing feeling. So right now the therapist, my husband and I are putting “unfaithful situation” on a shelf and going to move on. Which is so hard for me, I think about it all the time. Later, that day I went to the physiatrist which was VERY emotional for me because I am in the process of putting all my horrible actions on a shelf and I had to rehash them with the physiatrist which I know will help me in the long run. I was put on .5 of xanax three times a day as needed and 50mg of Zoloft and I hope it works. Lately, I have been taking all the xanax through the day because the horrible feeling won’t part. I don’t want medicine to make me a zombie but I am having a horrible time to forgive myself and I am so scared and I afraid to bring it up with the therapist or my husband because they want me to move forward so I am basically keeping it in, which got me in trouble in the first place. I am trying hard this is so hard for me , I took the weekend off of work and now my job is on my case for taking time off which I never do ever and I can’t handle stress but I am trying hard. But, I think one day maybe I can become a speaker for high school students and inform them on this disorder because I feel if I was fully and correctly informed I wouldn’t of tried to handle it on my own.
by homesweetmanila3 years ago
What to do if you've been having a bad dream (waking up crying) several nights in a row?my daughter has been complaining about waking up crying, and having vivid horrible dreams (nothing gory but heavy negative...
by sofs7 years ago
Are you trying hard to please someone all the time? How do you feel after all that effort?Please answer only if you answered the first question in the affirmative.. Thanx
by Nell Rose6 years ago
Do you ever feel trapped? That horrible I want to escape feeling, how do you cope?I sometimes feel so trapped within the home that I live in with my ex, that I get panic attacks. There is no way that I can move, and now...
by Peeples5 years ago
What to do when you dislike a pet?I know it makes me sound horrible, but I very much dislike a dog my husband got a few months ago. I was okay with the idea of adding to our family. However after a couple months of...
by Erick Hernandez3 months ago
I know that I should spend my time writing articles, but I also need to address something. One of my new year's resolutions was to forgive myself for my past actions. It is in the realm of possibility that it could...
by caicai10159 years ago
Well I found out that I was having a boy on thursday the 5 of this month. I called my hubby to be to tell him that we were having a boy and that I really needed his help now with finding out baby names. So later...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.