Are holidays like Mother's Day or Father's Day hard for you?

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   Marcy Goodfleischposted 10 years ago

   Are holidays like Mother's Day or Father's Day hard for you?
   
   Some people get sad on those holidays - what are ways to handle the sadness or avoid it?

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   fpherj48posted 10 years ago

   Marcy.....Most "Holidays" have a tendency to stir many emotions in us, to include sadness in some cases.  Mother's Day and Father's Day, once our parents are no longer with us, can start out with a dark cloud or heavy heart, simply because we miss them and wish so much to see them once again.  Our mind travels back in time to all the many years we did have with them and the happiness & bond we shared.
   
   How we may handle this is so different for each of us.  It seems I always manage to pull out the family photo albums and turn each page of a different memory that makes me smile & reconfirm how blessed we were to have one another.  I may even say something aloud in hopes they'll hear me.  Maybe I will have a good cry & get it all out......dry my eyes & proceed to enjoy the day & celebrate with my loved ones.  This is surely what my parents would want us to do.......Happy Mother's Day to you, Marcy.......Peace, Paula

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      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      What a BEAUTIFUL answer, Paula.

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      fpherj48posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, Grace.  I appreciate this.

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   Kristen Howeposted 10 years ago

   Yes. Since it's been a year since my mother died. Last year was real rough. And today I' doing okay and thinking about my mom.As for Father's Day, I'm glad I've reconnnected with my father 3 years ago, since we've been estranged for many years. It wasn't real hard for me, since my grandfather filled in the void until he passed away a decade ago.

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   Sparkleaposted 10 years ago

   Marcy Mother's Day is the WORST DAY EVER for me.  There is NO escape.  Billboards, radio, signs in all the stores at the mall, the commercials on television drive me up a wall.  The week before Mother's Day my stomach goes into knots and I have crying spells.
   I hardly knew my biological mom...and she died around age 52 of cancer of the larynx. 
   I was raised by my grandmother because my mom had abandoned my sister at I at age 2.  Our dad's parents adopted us and they became 'mom and dad.'  Our grandmother died on our 16th birthday of a massive stroke...we never were able to enjoy turning 16. Lost our biological dad at age 11.  Devastating.
   Worst of all, my grown son has not entered our home for 14 years.  There was a bad fallout the Christmas of 9/11.  Long story, but before that happened, he came here all smiles every mom's day and brought me a gift and spent some time with me.  All that is gone...his last two born children we heard about or read in the paper.  His kids barely know us.  He has a son 18 who will graduate next month. Horrible wasted years of not ever getting to know his 3 sons and a Chinese girl they adopted.  This is a horrible tragedy.  Unfixable. 
   Today I got a text 'happy mothers day hope you have a wonderful day, love you.'  That is it most years.  Sometimes nothing. 
   
   Our daughter loves me so much. 
   
   Let me tell you the guilt, despair, and SILENCE has been so loud in my heart and soul.  What digs in my gut the most is that he DID love me...Now Dates set to meet for lunch are always cancelled or the invite never acknowledged.  NEVER a thank you for the cards, gifts and notes I have sent to him, his wife or kids. 
   
   To all grown kids who are estranged from their parents here is my message: 
   
   You may be the most wonderful parents in the world and raised terrific adult children.  But you are TERRIBLE children to your parents to break their hearts like this, especially on Mother's Day and Father's day.  To be loved by so many but ignored by a grown child is the worst hell in the world.  That one soul I gave birth to and loved...I have no words.  Thank you for this question so that I could vent  Sparklea

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      fpherj48posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Spark...My heart breaks 4 U. Just want to say, "NOTHING is irreparable when it comes to our own blood."  Pls. stay hopeful. A text is not much but it IS acknowledgement.  Stay strong. Where's my magic wand? 

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      Sparkleaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      THANK YOU PAULA, NOT LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY JUST VENTING.
      You are so very kind.  I have that Red Sea Prayer list and he is on it...YOU are also on my prayer list per your request...every single day.  Blessings, Sparklea

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   lisavollrathposted 10 years ago

   My mother was not a nice person, so I feel uncomfortable seeing so much "all moms are great" propaganda on Mother's Day. Yes, some moms are great, but mine wasn't. There are a lot of folks in my boat, including two of my best friends: they may be good moms themselves, but their own mothers were bad enough to warrant exclusion from their daughters' adult lives.

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