Each year I attempt to get into the holiday spirit by inviting Hubbers to publish a Christmas story. No prizes, but the enjoyment of spinning a good tale is often just what is needed to appreciate what this special time is really all about.
Even though it is frowned upon to normally post a link to our own work on the forums I think we may get by with doing so here. No one wants to be called a Scrooge by raising a fuss about Christmas tales being linked so I think we may get by with it again this year.
If you would like to write a tale, or have already done so, than feel free to post a link here. I will try to read them all if I have the time. Here's my 3rd tale in as many Christmases here. Staff may move this thread if they so choose. But Bah Hub bug!
http://randygodwin.hubpages.com/hub/A-C … istmas-Eve
SantaSnake--Hiss Hiss Hiss!
Come on now, are you guys all chicken? Bok Bok Bok! Get into the spirit of things. Don't make me have to come out there amongst you!
Rudolf, The Red
An America couple was being shown around Moscow one day, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.
"I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing.
"Let's not fight about it!" the man said. "Let's ask our guide, Rudolph, whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As their tour guide approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he replied officiously.
But the woman insisted, "I know that it felt like snow!"
The man quietly replied, "Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear!"
Santa Claus was making his annual rounds delivering gifts on Christmas Eve. The first house he entered an elderly lady was waiting with milk and cookies for him and said "Oh please Santa, why don't you stay a bit and keep me company?"
Santa replied "Ho ho ho, gotta go, got a lot of toys to deliver you know!"
The second house he delivered gifts to another desperate spinster waited, also with milk and cookies. "Surely you can stay awhile, Santa?" Once again, Santa replied. "Ho ho ho, gotta go, got a lot of toys to deliver you know!"
At the third house he visited, a beautiful young lady was standing there by the Christmas tree wearing nothing but a smile. "Oh Santa, can't you stay for awhile? I'm so lonesome tonight!"
Santa thought for barely a second before answering the luscious young miss.
"Hey hey hey, gotta stay, can't go up the chimney this way!"
Sure is slow around here... One would think it's the week before Christmas or something...
Dead as hell, you mean! I wonder where everyone else is? We seem to be the only brilliant people here tonight.
A Christmas Story for people having a bad day:
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Too funny, Izzy! Welcome to the Hubber Humor thread!
That might be the stupidest post I ever made, stress is way over the top but wanted to say thank you for responding without malice. I'm a turd and apologize to the thread
You're not a turd. You're a lovely person and everyone who knows anything about you knows that - though it was a stupid post, your finger slipping on your keyboard like that...
I hope your stress eases, Kimberly and that you have a wonderful Christmas
Whispering: (have you tried deleting it...???)
You are being way too hard on yourself!!! I thought it was funny.
Naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty.
Brandon is nice.
Get with the program, Brandon!
No big deal, Kim! I hope your stress disappears quickly!
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