ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Dedicated Gumshoe

Updated on November 13, 2011
Dedicated Gumshoe
Dedicated Gumshoe | Source

It is a damp, foggy pre-dawn on the Embarcadero. One can hear the faint and rhythmic slapping of turbid current against the approaching hull of the overdue Vallejo Ferry as it sidles past Pier 1 for its first foray of the day. On the clouds of wisp rolling in off the bay, comes the occasional pungent tinge of burning oil emanating from the first batch of hashed potatoes at Gott’s Roadside Grill just down the block. Well beyond the cone of tepid light cast by the last remaining streetlight, against the dank old brick of a vacant shipper’s warehouse, leans our dedicated gumshoe. The first fag of the morning hangs from his immobile lips, now and again overriding the scent of burnt oil with that of cheap tobacco burning ever so slowly.

You can call him the shambling shamus. Or the intrepid investigator. The steady shadow. The determined detective. How about the persistent plainclothesman? The aggressive agent. The sedulous sleuth. The diligent dick. The unstoppable constant copper.

Well, no matter what you might call him, this resolute and unremitting and sure-footed slewfoot will stick with a case longer and harder and more in-your-face and on-your-tail than just about any other gun for hire working the speakeasies and juke gin joints throughout the seamier quarters of America’s dark and nasty urban underbelly. (And it’s not just because, as a true gumshoe, he happens to have stood his ground on this particular all-night stakeout with one of his beat-up and broken-down black broughams positioned directly atop a heaping fresh dirty-pink wad of Joe Bazooka’s gooey best.)

No, this guy’s got stick-to-it-iveness, in spades! (as — he would only too readily remind you — in Sam Spade, his lifelong novelistic and cinematic hero.) Once he’s on a case, there’s no calling him off until some rough characters are on (or in) the ground, the swag is back in rightful hands, and the hot-looking dame with the loose habits is blowing kisses at our guy from across a banquette and two martinis at Sergio’s.

At this moment, the DG is up to his trenchcoat collar in a web of intrigue that could make or break his flatfooted fame. Seems a Sir Caspar Von Diemen, scion of a dissolute Central European duchy, was — believe it or not — actually Shanghaied in Shanghai. Put to harsh labor aboard a Singaporean sloop shuttling a stock of black ceramic falcons to Malta, Sir CVD was stripped to his BVDs to hinder any attempt at escape. The meager slops tossed his way by his Moluccan pirate captors barely sustained life. On the long route around the (to Caspar’s sense, rather ironically named) Cape of Good Hope, the unfortunate Sir Von Diemen was reduced to an exceedingly thin man, wiry and wasted. After more tortuous months bouncing northward along the western coast of Africa and through the Straits of Gibraltar, the now-delirious Caspar somehow found himself floating facedown in the seas off Marseilles, two pirate pellets embedded in his back, and no memory of his former self residing any longer anywhere within his addled cranium.

Our peripatetic private eye has pieced together much of this malevolent tale, but still isn’t quite sure of the role Mr. E. S. Blofeld, owner of the warehouse outside of which our guy now so nonchalantly waits, plays in the intrigue.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • rickzimmerman profile imageAUTHOR

      Rick Zimmerman 

      7 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Right you are, Ralph. And you'll never see him exchange his ciggie for some lame Kojak lollipop, either . . .

    • rickzimmerman profile imageAUTHOR

      Rick Zimmerman 

      7 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Thanks, Linda! Hope you enjoy more of mine.

    • Ralph Deeds profile image

      Ralph Deeds 

      7 years ago from Birmingham, Michigan

      Ha!Ha! Not exactly a Dirty Harry!

    • profile image

      Linda Myshrall 

      7 years ago

      It appears that there is nothing you can't do well. Charming, charming, charming.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)