Funny Pun about Brad and Lorraine and ClaraLee
Funny Pun about Brad and Lorraine and ClaraLee
Love Triangle
Brad lived with Lorraine
In a condo – tenth floor.
For two years they were lovers
But Brad wanted more.
Lorraine was pretty,
Witty, nice, and curvy.
But Brad’s heart was cold,
No longer topsy-turvy.
True, they made love,
But it was sporadic.
The problem you see,
Brad was nomadic.
He often fantasized
Being with other gals.
He believed that Lorraine
And he were no more than pals.
Now the plot thickens,
You knew that it would.
Brad’s poor heart quickens,
He feels misunderstood.
That’s often a reason
Both tried and true.
Why men commit treason
Against the love they knew.
The cause of his ardor,
A lass named ClaraLee.
Made his heart beat harder
So beautiful was she.
But she had scruples,
Many more than Brad.
She would not date him
While another girl he had.
She told him she liked him
Much more than a brother.
But she could not love him
While he was with another.
Brad really did try
To break up with Lorraine.
Once on an airplane
And twice on a train.
Yes, Brad had a roving eye
But inside – still a nice guy.
He would take Lorraine out
For one final date.
Break the news to her
They weren’t destined to mate.
As they strolled by the river
Brad began confessing.
He was in love with ClaraLee
And sought Lorraine’s blessing.
"I Can See Clearly Now, the Rain Has Gone." Johnny Nash 1972
It was a chilly, rainy night
Lorraine began to shiver.
Turned away too quickly
And fell into the dark river.
The current was swift
And the light very dim
Lorraine soon drowned,
She never learned to swim.
Brad was devastated
But not for very long.
He started to smile
And began singing this song:
"I can see ClaraLee now, Lorraine has gone."
- Funny Pun – Number Five
Artie worked in a grocery store but his goal was to be a 'hit man'. Like Al Capone. - Funny Pun - Number Six
Dick and Jane go to Transylvania for their honeymoon. That's their first mistake . . .
Bonus: world's worst short pun: Do you need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011. Rev. 2014. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"
More Funny Puns
- Funny Pun - Number One
Are puns the lowest form of humor? Who cares? I love them. Read about 'Stanley the Snail.' Didja know he was a hermaphrodite? - Funny Pun – Number Two
Did you know that Leo the Lion was involved in the study of immortality? So were seagulls. - Funny Pun - Number Three
John's son survived ... there was just one little problem ... - Funny Pun - Number Four
Do you remember Sir Gawain, Galahad and Lancelot? And Lance’s younger brother? Handsome Sir Dancealot? Do you like awful puns? You're in the right place!
Comments
Lovely and sweet! Voted Up
How in the world do you think of these things??? The last line just cracked me up! You must have an extremely high IQ, cause only a genius would think like this! I mean that as a highest compliment. See you..
Even though I've heard both jokes I still laughed. How clever are you to create a poem around a pun, well done drbj.
You really should be taken out and shot for that one. It was really funny though. I will be laughing till I go to bed. It even scans the same as the song. Simply genius.
I needed this laugh more than you know! Great job and thanks!
Oh this one had me singing. I just love your poetic build ups.
Found this in my mail this morning so thought I would return the laugh.
Husband: "What are you doing?"
Wife: "Nothing."
Husband: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Wife: "I was looking for the expiration date."
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Thank you, tnvrstar, for the lovely and sweet. So are you. And the up. :)
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And I will take that as the highest compliment, mary. Thank you. I'm kinda fond of that last line myself, too.
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Thank you, MPG. Creating a poem round a pun is fun, fun fun. So far, that is. Delighted I gave you a laugh.
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What a nice compliment, christopher. Not the ought to be shot but the 'simply genius.' Love it, love it.
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Nice to meet you, Poetic Fool. Funny, that's what some people have called me, too. Happy to give you a laugh. No thanks necessary.
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I think I heard you singing to this one from here, Rosemary. Loved the expiration date joke. Thank you. I'm sure I'll think of a way to use it at some point.
Clara won't last long either.
I've heard her sister, Sarah, has eyes for Brad as well.
If Brad asks Clara for a walk along the river, she'd better run the other way. She simply can't compete, cause nobody does it like Sara Lee. ;)
drbj that really made me laugh on this grey and windy morning! Poor old Lorraine! The lesson must be never try to swim and sing at the same time!
Up awesome and oh so funny. I love this!!!!
Up, Awesome and Interesting - very cute with the pictures too. Thanks for giving me a smile.
LOL - great way with rhyming you have drbj and I got it this time!
Shame, poor Lorraine. I knew a woman who got herself accidentally killed in a car crash after her husband had asked her for a divorce in order for him to marry a woman he had fallen in love with. That was such a tragedy! Drbj, I don't think Brad will ever be happy with Clara Lee, because he is deep inside a good guy with a guilt complex... Or what do you say?
What a story! Voted up and tragic.
And BTW, the Law is going to drive him nuts. He will have to prove that he did not push Lorraine in the river....
What a clever ending and what a surpise! I honestly thought somehow Sara Lee was going to enter the scene. But that's not even punny.
Dr. BJ! Another outstanding pun poem! Those of us that think we are funny can learn lots from you! Voted up, up and away!
I had to read that last line, the kicker, twice before I got it! I think I'm getting slow in the head in my old age. Or maybe I can't see clearly until the rain has gone.
Hah! LOL!
Oh, you are priceless, drbj!! :)
I agree with Feline, you are worth more than gold. Funny pun with a catchy ending. LOL..
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Oh, I do like that, femmeflashpoint. "nobody does it like Sara Lee," you say. Could be another funny pun in there somewhere. You think Clara Lee's days are numbered, eh? Mebbe so. Thanks for stopping by with your incisive wit, m'dear.
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Delighted to see you here, CM, and so happy I made you laugh on a gray, windy morning. You are spot on, m'luv, one should never try to swim and sing at the same time. Those are mutually exclusive events if one does not want to sink. Thanks for the warning!
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Thank you, bp, for the 'Up awesome and oh so funny.' You are my type of commenter. What a coincidence: you love this and I love you.
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Hi, Patty. Delighted to have given you a smile. You gave me a big one, too, with your gracious comments and up vote. Thank you, m'dear.
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Hi, psychicdog. Thank you for enjoying my rhyming and delighted you got it. I knew it was just a matter of time. Heh, heh. You are way ahead of the game. Sometimes folks never 'get it.'
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What a terribly sad story, Martie, about the woman who was killed after learning her hubby wanted a divorce. Maybe it wasn't entirely an accident. Because she was so distraught. Who knows?
You have a point, my dear, about Brad. He may just be a guy who loves 'em and leaves 'em. But I like to think that if that's the case, one day he will be on the receiving end. Whatcha think? Thanks for the visit, that tragic story, and the up.
As far as the Law is concerned, if no one saw Lorraine fall into the river, he could be convicted on circumstantial evidence, but the case would be difficult to prove. Just sayin'.
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Thank you, Hilary, I love it when the punch line of a pun is a surpise. You are the second person who mentioned Sara Lee. There's got to be another story there. Maybe not punny, but it could be funny. No?
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Thank you, Dex, for your visit and very gracious comments. It takes one to know one, you know. And thanks for the up vote - warms the cockles of my heart. There has to be a pun in there somewhere.
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Dear Paradise, don't feel badly. Many puns require a reread before they make sense. And you could be right with your insightful, clever comment: You can't see clearly until the rain is gone. Very good, m'dear. You are far, far from being old with that repartee.
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Thank you, Feline. You are priceless, too. But I do have a price. It's just that no one has ever been able to raise that much money. Heh, heh.
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Ah, Ruby, you are getting close to my price with that comment about gold. Would you like to try diamonds, m'dear?
Delighted you enjoyed this funny pun with the catchy ending. Me, too. (No humility gene here.)
That's great, never saw it coming, hahaha! Voted up and Awesome...
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Thank you for not seeing it coming, carcro. That's my greatest reward next to coin of the realm, that is. The up and Awesome is much appreciated, too.
Wow Drbj - this sounded a lot like my life with Dave until the whole falling in the river thing:) he didn't get that lucky! Haha! I didn't expect that ending either:) hilarious!
Too slow this morning. Had to to sing the song before I caught on ! LOL
Groooaaannn! I love it, drbj. It took me a few seconds, just like 'just ask susan,' but that made my slap to the forehead even harder.
Did you hear the Glasgow Herald funny:-
'I saw this cute young thing in the pub the other night' said the pub loudmouth. 'So I went up and asked her what her name was.'
'Chantelle,' she said.
So I told her, 'Come on, you can tell me.'
Well, now you did it - I will never be able to hear that song and not put your words to the tune!
Chuckling away in Central Oregon - I got it first time around and not sure why it was not crystal clear to everyone immediately - even got the tune! Of course that comes with being a smartass perhaps in all things.
Gotta love Chantelle - that is definitely a groan~
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You never know, Kelly, since I always change the names to protect the guilty. Think about this. Dave has 4 letters. Brad has 4 letter. Coincidence?
Happy I could surprise you with the ending - one of my favorite things to do you know. Thanks for the 'hilarious,' m'luv.
Hi drbj, what a cleverly constructed poem with a fantastic ending, I'm still smiling thinking about it. There's nowt wrong with corny, if it makes you laugh and brightens your day. Ten out of ten for this brilliantly sides splittingly hilarious and funny hub. Cheers
I had to hit every button on this. Very intriguing and fun but I am feeling sad for Lorraine.
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Don't give it another thought, Susan. You were not too slow. The punchline was too fast. And look at the positive. It gave you an opportunity to start the day with a song. Heh, heh.
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Please be careful, John, with those slaps to the forehead. I would not want you to knock yourself out. Devoted followers are too hard to find. Thanks for the additional groan, too.
And thanks for your Glasgow 'Chantelle' funny. I know I can find a place to use it one day.
I love it! Next time use our real names! Haha!
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Hope I did't ruin that pretty song for you, Audrey. I have the same problem. Putting the words in my pun to the tune every time I hear it.
And of course you got it first time around. That is definitely due to your superior intellect and not the fact that you and I may be familiar with the original tune - from the Dark Ages. Well, not really the Dark Ages for you, m'dear, just for me. More like the Dim Ages before they got completely Dark for you.
Loved Chantelle, eh? Anyone who loves a 'groaner' is a buddy of mine. :)
drbj: What an amusing, diverting, entertaining, hilarious poetic bit of dramatic, philosophical, punning fun! The triangular saga of Brad, Clara and Lorraine stands on its own, but the world's worse pun keeps the party going.
Each funny pun sounds like more!
Thank you for sharing your humorous creativity, voted up, etc.,
Derdriu
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Thank you so much, Keith, for your gracious comments. Still smiling? That's the greatest compliment of all. I fervently believe what you wrote: "There's nowt wrong with corny, if it makes you laugh and brightens your day." Amen!
And a ten out ten score? Who could ask for anything more?
You added to my Aussie education with 'nowt.' I like it - saves time. Unless I forget and spell it 'newt.'
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Hi, Linda - thanks for pushing all those buttons. And the lovely comments. You have a very kind heart but I have the information from a very trusted source (Zeus in my next Interview) that Lorraine is in a far, far better place. Trust me.
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Dang, Kelly, I thought those WERE your real names!
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What a treat, Derdriu. to pull you away from your fantastic, fascinating, fulsome fish tales long enough for a visit here. You are indeed a champion of laudatory loquacity. And welcome ... any time!
Delighted you found this funny pun amusing, et al. I will keep on until I run out of punny material which may be happening as I write.
Regardless, it has been my pleasure to share and I do appreciate your approbation and the up and etc.
Now that the dark clouds have drifted away...I loved the clever, dark Humor, of this "Funny Pun" Darbj...A real Fun Read!
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Anyone who loves clever, dark humor is a pal of mine, b. Thanks for loving this 'fun read.'
Thank you for a good laugh which I could do with. You are a great writer. Really I am serious.
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And you are a fantastic and amazing commenter. I'm serious, too. Thank you for the 'great writer' comment - that wins bunches of Brownie points from me. Delighted I gave you a good laugh. Funny Pun #8 coming soon.
I have no comment. Seriously, I have no comment. I am LOL'ing though. Thought you should know.
Oh okay, just one link:
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I have no comment either, Sharyn. Oh, wait a minute, Yes, I do. Thank you for LOLing and the nut definitions. I like 'original' and 'zany' is okay but I'm not too fond of the other meanings. But I do appreciate the link . . . I think. :)
I love this song and I noah guy.... nicely done.
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And I love you for your comments. Happy, Healthy, Prosperous New Year to you and yours.
I can see Clara Lee now...groan...funny punny drbj. You tell such a nice long poetic tale to get us to the river, and then you really deliver. Happy New Year! sl
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Hi, sl - I see you are making the rounds of the punny funs, I mean, funny puns. More power to you, m'dear. Delighted you enjoyed this one. Loved your line: '... poetic tale to get us to the river, and then you really deliver.' I'll find a way to use it, y'know. A very Happy New Year to you, too.
I had to come back to read this line, " I can see Clara Lee now, Lorraine has gone " Hee
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Clara Lee, Brad and I thank you, too, for coming back, Ruby. No word though from Lorraine ... yet!
Oh, and thanks for the hee!
AH HA! Shades of Johnny Nash, was it?
I loved your clever and pithy poem. Nice PUNch line. Enjoyed very much. Thank you!
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Yes, James, that was Johnny Nash singing what may have been his biggest hit. Thank you for loving my clever and pithy poem. Ith not eathy theth dayth to get pith. And you liked the PUNch line, you clever fellow, you. Thank you for that, too.
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