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How To Lose A Girl (Limerick)

Updated on August 2, 2012
Source

How To Lose A Girl: Introduction

Have you ever seen the classic comedy, "How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days?" This movie portrays actor Matthew McConaughey as he seeks to win a bet of making a woman fall in love with him in ten days. Meanwhile, journalist Kate Hudson is assigned to write an article on how to lose a guy in ten days. These two characters meet in a bar shortly after the bet has been made, and the rest of the movie is a surprise! I will not share any more information, because this is a must see movie!

Why do I mention this movie? Well, I have decided to do a cute little spin off of the movie in the form of a limerick. "How To Lose A Girl In One Week"

For all of you men out there, who for some strange reason, want to know how to get rid of a women in one week, do take a look! Maybe you want to know what not to do, take a look!

For all of you women out there who are curious of what not to look out for in a man, take a look!

How do you lose a girl in one week? Enjoy this limerick!

The guy and girl have went out on an awesome date, or at least one member of the party thought so. A week has gone by, and the next date is about to take place...(THE STAGE IS SET)


Source

How To Lose A Girl In One Week

Sorry but what was your name again

Michelle Monique Monica or Jen

Dress makes you look big

You eat like a pig

But if you'd like we can still be friends

How To Lose A Girl: Funny Disclaimer

I want to start off by saying that if you try this out(this is for all the men out there, are you LISTENING?), you will most likely not succeed. I will take it a step further, you will NOT succeed. Yes, I went there! If you want to be prideful, which us men have the tendency to be(For you women, no need for your witty response to that statement. Unless you are TToombs08, then you can leave one...), then I challenge you to try this out and let me know how it goes! But, do not say that I did not warn you ahead of time.

For you women, I would advise to stay clear from these men. Unless you find them super attractive, then it is up to you! You can make your own decisions. But, if the guy can not remember your name, it probably should be a red flag! But, like I said the choice is yours! Hey, I am good at remembering names! Just thought I would throw that out there, no reason behind it!

I hope you have enjoyed this Limerick; have a great day friends!

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    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Hattie,

      Thanks for the visit! Thanks for the additions as well! :)

    • HattieMattieMae profile image

      HattieMattieMae 5 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

      Well I would say hit on her a lot, smoke some pot, get really drunk, smoke cigars, don't take a shower and stink really bad. Don't comb your hair and wear clothes that are really dirty, maybe even make sure your really sweaty and if a girl sticks around after all that. She must be nuts. lol

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      jpcmc,

      Thanks, glad you thought it was funny!

    • jpcmc profile image

      JP Carlos 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

      Hey Josh, this hub is hilarious.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Dianna,

      Thanks, it is an awesome movie! Have a great day!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      dghbrh,

      Thanks, LOL Thanks for your positive feedback and votes!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      I will take your word for it, Josh. Watching chick flick types are my favorites and this one sounds like a winner. Thanks for the review.

    • dghbrh profile image

      deergha 5 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

      Josh.....ha ha ha....you just rock

      awesome limerick.....enjoyed thoroughly...have a nice day you too:-)

      up voting and sharing:-)

    • Mama Kim 8 profile image

      Sasha Kim 5 years ago

      haha! So if a guy's really hot they can get away with anything? yeah... that sounds about right... at least until after the 3rd date. Really funny hub Josh! voted up, funny and awesome ^_^

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Maria,

      Glad you like the pictures! LOL Thanks for being so funny and searching for the princess! :)

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Hi Jacob...(lol)

      Where the heck do you get the pictures of the chicks in your limericks? There are, in themselves, hysterical!

      I think I shall pass on my pie today, especially after the LORD "went there"... He is such a gas. Is that where you get it from?

      Now keep this limerick outta sight as bw, thang and I search for your princess... hugs, AFG

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      girishpuri,

      Glad you thought it was funny! You are welcome!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      M,

      Thanks for your compliment of this silly limerick!

    • girishpuri profile image

      Girish puri 5 years ago from NCR , INDIA

      very much hilarious and funny. happy friendship day, thanks

    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 5 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      hehehehe amazing! i've seen that movie, how to lose a guy in 10 days and it's funny and vibrant.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Gypsy,

      Haha, awesome comment Gypsy!

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      lol Good one Josh. That could get some guy beat up and even killed. Actually I love to eat good. Could stand to loose some weight but if anyone ever said that to me I'd just walk away laughing and buy an ice cream on the way. lol

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Rajan,

      Thanks buddy! Glad you liked it, and thanks for the compliment!

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 5 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Josh I love this. You have a way with limeriks and haikus.

      Voted up and funny.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Mhatter99,

      Thanks, I do know what you mean and definitely laughed out loud!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Julie,

      Thanks for your compliment and your continued support!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Suzette,

      Thanks so much for your comment! I apprecaite your loyal support of my limericks!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Ann,

      Awesome limerick, thanks for sharing! :) Thyanks for the read and votes Ann!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Keith,

      Thanks buddy! Glad you enjoyed it!

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 5 years ago from San Francisco

      Being a typical guy I cannot relate; for I have never lost a girl. Every female desires me. You're guy (with a U). You know what I'm talking about... :))

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 5 years ago from Clinton CT

      I love that movie...and your limerick too! Nice job :)

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 5 years ago from Taos, NM

      You are hysterical, josh. I can just see you saying this to a girl. LOL. I love the picture of the blond pointing the finger - what a hoot!

    • Ann1Az2 profile image

      Ann1Az2 5 years ago from Orange, Texas

      I remember my mother quoting me an old limerick - I can't remember who wrote it. I've often wished I had:

      As a beauty, I am not a star,

      There are others more handsome by far,

      But my face,

      I don't mind it,

      Because I'm behind it.

      It's the people in front whom I jar.

      Thought it was appropriate for the moment.

      Voted up and funny!

    • profile image

      KDuBarry03 5 years ago

      Very awesome, Josh! I absolutely love it! Very funny :)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      TT,

      ROFL! Haha, your comments always crack me up! Enjoy those fries! :)

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      It's Josh, right? I keep forgetting. Anywhoo, I really don't appreciate you saying that my dress could be rented out to host a circus act. And I eat like a pig? I'll have you know that it takes a LOT of cheeseburgers and milkshakes to keep me looking THIS dang good! :) Not everyone can rock the pre-surgery Roseanne Bar look as good as me! You'd be beggin' to have me cuddlin' you on cold winter nights if you knew how hot I was! I'd kick yer butt, but my bottomless fries just got here!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Audrey,

      Thanks friend for your funny limerick addition, and the compliment!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      I've lived my whole life for the men

      I've married again and again

      I can't get it right

      I give up the fight

      I'll never get married again.

      Josh...your hubs never cease to amaze me my friend.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Jamie,

      You are very welcome! :)

    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 5 years ago from Reno NV

      Way to remind me all the terrible things I shouldn't say. Thank you. Jamie

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Martie,

      Thanks for your addition, and glad you enjoyed this limerick!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Mark,

      Well, yes with tho other male roommates, so single, yes, LOL.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Jools,

      Haha, yes I am well aware Julie. This limerick inspired three limericks already! :) LOL

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Linda,

      Hahaha, LOL! You just made me laugh out loud! :) Glad you enjoyed this here silly limerick!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Shauna,

      I have never said them, I know better fairy godmother! LOL

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Nancy,

      Thanks for your feedback, I was a little worried!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Joseph,

      Haha, LOL :) You are a funny one buddy! He does read them! :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      your cousins,

      Good call! LOL Yes it would! :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Paula,

      LOL, yes they should! :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Bill,

      Thanks for your feedback, I am loving the curb comments!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Paula,

      LOL, thanks for the awesome limerick!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Frank,

      Thanks Frank, awesome compliment! It is people like you who keep me going!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      cfin,

      Thanks for your funny limerick! Have a good day!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      myownlife,

      Thanks for your feedback, glad you enjoyed it!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Vespa,

      Thanks for your feedback! Yes, this would not go over well! :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Giblin,

      Thanks Giblin!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Janine,

      Thanks for the comment on my blend, I worked hard on it! Thanks for your continual support on my hubs!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Michelle,

      Aww, thanks Michelle. That was a very encouraging compliment!

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 5 years ago from South Africa

      If he calls me a pig

      He must be oh so sick

      to be chuck and forgot

      like a slimy escargot

      He should simply hop the twig.

      :)

      Voted up and funny :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Patty,

      Glad you loved this silly limerick. Thanks for the share and vote Patty, you rock!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      LaThing,

      Thanks friend! Thanks for your awesome comment and compliment! I try to make those disclaimers funny! )

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 5 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      Josh, did you say you live alone?

      LOL love this!

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Josh, you're a man on a mission,

      To cause laughter your clear cut ambition,

      Read your commenters quick,

      With their own limerick,

      It appears you have some competition :o)

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Ya know, if by some chance the woman has a sense of humor she might be able to laugh off the rude insults and sparks could develop. Hmmm. Nah, forget it...he's kicked to the curb. He doesn't have a chance. Too funny!!! :)

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 5 years ago from Central Florida

      Mischievious limerick Fairy Godson! I wonder how many men actually think those words but (hopefully) never say them!

    • Lipnancy profile image

      Nancy Yager 5 years ago from Hamburg, New York

      I think your limerick is funny. Ladies do not take it too seriously, all in good fun.

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

      Keep the disclaimer upfront. because you might be typecasted as a single man with no luck. Yeah she looks mad!! Oh my! I wouldn't go that far.... or that fart? Your limericks are hilarious, I wonder if Jon reads them? Then you can bash Walmart together, ya know?

    • Your Cousins profile image

      Your Cousins 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      Maybe the title should have been "How To Lose A Girl In One Week...or Less!" This would certainly do it. LOL. Fun Hub.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Josh...All young men should have a wise Uncle Bill!!!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      That's a sure way to be booted to the curb...immediately.

      LOL...nice job Nephew!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Josh

      Sorry, but you can forget my name

      It matters not, I don't feel the same

      What did you say about my dress?

      Your brain is really a mess

      And you'll never have fortune or fame!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton

      how to lose a girl.. you know I come to realize how crazy funny, creative you are voted awesome..LOL :) Frank

    • cfin profile image

      cfin 5 years ago from The World we live in

      I love Limericks. You seem quite fond of them. This one is very entertaining. I know quite a few people from Limerick, where the poems originated :) Nice work.

      The was an old man from downtown,

      Who's face bore a terrible frown,

      All night and all day,

      His smile stayed away,

      Til he frowned in the ground,

      No more.

    • myownlife profile image

      myownlife 5 years ago from london

      Funny and entertaining.

      Cheers

    • vespawoolf profile image

      vespawoolf 5 years ago from Peru, South America

      I'm not sure which is worse: not remembering her name or saying her dress makes her look big! Eating like a pig is pretty insulting, as well! Yes, this is definitely a winning combination to lose a girl. You sure know women, Josh!

    • GiblinGirl profile image

      GiblinGirl 5 years ago from New Jersey

      Great take on a great movie - nice job.

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 5 years ago from New York, New York

      Ok, I love the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". I t is one of my favorites and loved how you wrote this limerick in conjunction with the movie. Very good job blending the two. Your limerick was funny and as a woman can attest that if a guy were to say these things he would definitely not succeed!! Great job here and have of course voted and shared too!!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 5 years ago from Singapore

      Great job, Josh! Keep'em coming!! You deserve the Hubpages Limerick Accolade if there is one! VUMS!

    • Patty Kenyon profile image

      Patty Kenyon 5 years ago from Ledyard, Connecticut

      Funny, Awesome, and Shared!!! ROFL

      Awesome Tips!!

      Hey Ladies do not fear

      for Josh will always be near.

      For you men whom lurk about,

      Women are ready to shut you out!! LOL

      I do love reading your hubs, because you do tend to surprise as well!!! :)

    • LaThing profile image

      LaThing 5 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      With those words you don't need a week to lose a girl there,.... Say, within an hour will probably do it. :))

      Now, married men better be careful..... That's totally a different story!!

      Josh, Josh, Josh, what can I say, you are hilarious, lol

      Love all your disclaimers, hahaha

      Voting up, friend :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      rcrumple,

      Thanks for your hilarious comment rcrumple! Awesome limerick!

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 5 years ago from Kentucky

      Okay, you've forced me to try one:

      I see how you're working this page

      Getting guys and gals in a rage

      But couples will kiss

      As words they dismiss

      And your cat puts you back in your cage.

      Just joking of course! My lame effort is only to make a stand against calling any female a pig. It's like I tell my wife, "You're not fat, you're slim. You just have a lot of extra flesh making you look that way"

      Great Job! Loved It!