How To Lose A Girl (Limerick)

Well I would say hit on her a lot, smoke some pot, get really drunk, smoke cigars, don't take a shower and stink really bad. Don't comb your hair and wear clothes that are really dirty, maybe even make sure your really sweaty and if a girl sticks around after all that. She must be nuts. lol

Hey Josh, this hub is hilarious.

I will take your word for it, Josh. Watching chick flick types are my favorites and this one sounds like a winner. Thanks for the review.

Josh.....ha ha ha....you just rock

awesome limerick.....enjoyed thoroughly...have a nice day you too:-)

up voting and sharing:-)

haha! So if a guy's really hot they can get away with anything? yeah... that sounds about right... at least until after the 3rd date. Really funny hub Josh! voted up, funny and awesome ^_^

Hi Jacob...(lol)

Where the heck do you get the pictures of the chicks in your limericks? There are, in themselves, hysterical!

I think I shall pass on my pie today, especially after the LORD "went there"... He is such a gas. Is that where you get it from?

Now keep this limerick outta sight as bw, thang and I search for your princess... hugs, AFG

very much hilarious and funny. happy friendship day, thanks

hehehehe amazing! i've seen that movie, how to lose a guy in 10 days and it's funny and vibrant.

lol Good one Josh. That could get some guy beat up and even killed. Actually I love to eat good. Could stand to loose some weight but if anyone ever said that to me I'd just walk away laughing and buy an ice cream on the way. lol

Josh I love this. You have a way with limeriks and haikus.

Voted up and funny.

Being a typical guy I cannot relate; for I have never lost a girl. Every female desires me. You're guy (with a U). You know what I'm talking about... :))

I love that movie...and your limerick too! Nice job :)

You are hysterical, josh. I can just see you saying this to a girl. LOL. I love the picture of the blond pointing the finger - what a hoot!

I remember my mother quoting me an old limerick - I can't remember who wrote it. I've often wished I had:

As a beauty, I am not a star,

There are others more handsome by far,

But my face,

I don't mind it,

Because I'm behind it.

It's the people in front whom I jar.

Thought it was appropriate for the moment.

Voted up and funny!

Very awesome, Josh! I absolutely love it! Very funny :)

It's Josh, right? I keep forgetting. Anywhoo, I really don't appreciate you saying that my dress could be rented out to host a circus act. And I eat like a pig? I'll have you know that it takes a LOT of cheeseburgers and milkshakes to keep me looking THIS dang good! :) Not everyone can rock the pre-surgery Roseanne Bar look as good as me! You'd be beggin' to have me cuddlin' you on cold winter nights if you knew how hot I was! I'd kick yer butt, but my bottomless fries just got here!

I've lived my whole life for the men

I've married again and again

I can't get it right

I give up the fight

I'll never get married again.

Josh...your hubs never cease to amaze me my friend.

Way to remind me all the terrible things I shouldn't say. Thank you. Jamie

If he calls me a pig

He must be oh so sick

to be chuck and forgot

like a slimy escargot

He should simply hop the twig.

:)

Voted up and funny :)

Josh, did you say you live alone?

LOL love this!

Josh, you're a man on a mission,

To cause laughter your clear cut ambition,

Read your commenters quick,

With their own limerick,

It appears you have some competition :o)

Ya know, if by some chance the woman has a sense of humor she might be able to laugh off the rude insults and sparks could develop. Hmmm. Nah, forget it...he's kicked to the curb. He doesn't have a chance. Too funny!!! :)

Mischievious limerick Fairy Godson! I wonder how many men actually think those words but (hopefully) never say them!

I think your limerick is funny. Ladies do not take it too seriously, all in good fun.

Keep the disclaimer upfront. because you might be typecasted as a single man with no luck. Yeah she looks mad!! Oh my! I wouldn't go that far.... or that fart? Your limericks are hilarious, I wonder if Jon reads them? Then you can bash Walmart together, ya know?

Maybe the title should have been "How To Lose A Girl In One Week...or Less!" This would certainly do it. LOL. Fun Hub.

Josh...All young men should have a wise Uncle Bill!!!

That's a sure way to be booted to the curb...immediately.

LOL...nice job Nephew!

Josh

Sorry, but you can forget my name

It matters not, I don't feel the same

What did you say about my dress?

Your brain is really a mess

And you'll never have fortune or fame!

how to lose a girl.. you know I come to realize how crazy funny, creative you are voted awesome..LOL :) Frank

I love Limericks. You seem quite fond of them. This one is very entertaining. I know quite a few people from Limerick, where the poems originated :) Nice work.

The was an old man from downtown,

Who's face bore a terrible frown,

All night and all day,

His smile stayed away,

Til he frowned in the ground,

No more.

Funny and entertaining.

Cheers

I'm not sure which is worse: not remembering her name or saying her dress makes her look big! Eating like a pig is pretty insulting, as well! Yes, this is definitely a winning combination to lose a girl. You sure know women, Josh!

Great take on a great movie - nice job.

Ok, I love the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". I t is one of my favorites and loved how you wrote this limerick in conjunction with the movie. Very good job blending the two. Your limerick was funny and as a woman can attest that if a guy were to say these things he would definitely not succeed!! Great job here and have of course voted and shared too!!

Great job, Josh! Keep'em coming!! You deserve the Hubpages Limerick Accolade if there is one! VUMS!

Funny, Awesome, and Shared!!! ROFL

Awesome Tips!!

Hey Ladies do not fear

for Josh will always be near.

For you men whom lurk about,

Women are ready to shut you out!! LOL

I do love reading your hubs, because you do tend to surprise as well!!! :)

With those words you don't need a week to lose a girl there,.... Say, within an hour will probably do it. :))

Now, married men better be careful..... That's totally a different story!!

Josh, Josh, Josh, what can I say, you are hilarious, lol

Love all your disclaimers, hahaha

Voting up, friend :)