How To Lose A Girl (Limerick)
How To Lose A Girl: Introduction
Have you ever seen the classic comedy, "How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days?" This movie portrays actor Matthew McConaughey as he seeks to win a bet of making a woman fall in love with him in ten days. Meanwhile, journalist Kate Hudson is assigned to write an article on how to lose a guy in ten days. These two characters meet in a bar shortly after the bet has been made, and the rest of the movie is a surprise! I will not share any more information, because this is a must see movie!
Why do I mention this movie? Well, I have decided to do a cute little spin off of the movie in the form of a limerick. "How To Lose A Girl In One Week"
For all of you men out there, who for some strange reason, want to know how to get rid of a women in one week, do take a look! Maybe you want to know what not to do, take a look!
For all of you women out there who are curious of what not to look out for in a man, take a look!
How do you lose a girl in one week? Enjoy this limerick!
The guy and girl have went out on an awesome date, or at least one member of the party thought so. A week has gone by, and the next date is about to take place...(THE STAGE IS SET)
How To Lose A Girl In One Week
Sorry but what was your name again
Michelle Monique Monica or Jen
Dress makes you look big
You eat like a pig
But if you'd like we can still be friends
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How To Lose A Girl: Funny Disclaimer
I want to start off by saying that if you try this out(this is for all the men out there, are you LISTENING?), you will most likely not succeed. I will take it a step further, you will NOT succeed. Yes, I went there! If you want to be prideful, which us men have the tendency to be(For you women, no need for your witty response to that statement. Unless you are TToombs08, then you can leave one...), then I challenge you to try this out and let me know how it goes! But, do not say that I did not warn you ahead of time.
For you women, I would advise to stay clear from these men. Unless you find them super attractive, then it is up to you! You can make your own decisions. But, if the guy can not remember your name, it probably should be a red flag! But, like I said the choice is yours! Hey, I am good at remembering names! Just thought I would throw that out there, no reason behind it!
I hope you have enjoyed this Limerick; have a great day friends!
Comments
Well I would say hit on her a lot, smoke some pot, get really drunk, smoke cigars, don't take a shower and stink really bad. Don't comb your hair and wear clothes that are really dirty, maybe even make sure your really sweaty and if a girl sticks around after all that. She must be nuts. lol
Hey Josh, this hub is hilarious.
I will take your word for it, Josh. Watching chick flick types are my favorites and this one sounds like a winner. Thanks for the review.
Josh.....ha ha ha....you just rock
awesome limerick.....enjoyed thoroughly...have a nice day you too:-)
up voting and sharing:-)
haha! So if a guy's really hot they can get away with anything? yeah... that sounds about right... at least until after the 3rd date. Really funny hub Josh! voted up, funny and awesome ^_^
Hi Jacob...(lol)
Where the heck do you get the pictures of the chicks in your limericks? There are, in themselves, hysterical!
I think I shall pass on my pie today, especially after the LORD "went there"... He is such a gas. Is that where you get it from?
Now keep this limerick outta sight as bw, thang and I search for your princess... hugs, AFG
very much hilarious and funny. happy friendship day, thanks
hehehehe amazing! i've seen that movie, how to lose a guy in 10 days and it's funny and vibrant.
lol Good one Josh. That could get some guy beat up and even killed. Actually I love to eat good. Could stand to loose some weight but if anyone ever said that to me I'd just walk away laughing and buy an ice cream on the way. lol
Josh I love this. You have a way with limeriks and haikus.
Voted up and funny.
Being a typical guy I cannot relate; for I have never lost a girl. Every female desires me. You're guy (with a U). You know what I'm talking about... :))
I love that movie...and your limerick too! Nice job :)
You are hysterical, josh. I can just see you saying this to a girl. LOL. I love the picture of the blond pointing the finger - what a hoot!
I remember my mother quoting me an old limerick - I can't remember who wrote it. I've often wished I had:
As a beauty, I am not a star,
There are others more handsome by far,
But my face,
I don't mind it,
Because I'm behind it.
It's the people in front whom I jar.
Thought it was appropriate for the moment.
Voted up and funny!
Very awesome, Josh! I absolutely love it! Very funny :)
It's Josh, right? I keep forgetting. Anywhoo, I really don't appreciate you saying that my dress could be rented out to host a circus act. And I eat like a pig? I'll have you know that it takes a LOT of cheeseburgers and milkshakes to keep me looking THIS dang good! :) Not everyone can rock the pre-surgery Roseanne Bar look as good as me! You'd be beggin' to have me cuddlin' you on cold winter nights if you knew how hot I was! I'd kick yer butt, but my bottomless fries just got here!
I've lived my whole life for the men
I've married again and again
I can't get it right
I give up the fight
I'll never get married again.
Josh...your hubs never cease to amaze me my friend.
Way to remind me all the terrible things I shouldn't say. Thank you. Jamie
If he calls me a pig
He must be oh so sick
to be chuck and forgot
like a slimy escargot
He should simply hop the twig.
:)
Voted up and funny :)
Josh, did you say you live alone?
LOL love this!
Josh, you're a man on a mission,
To cause laughter your clear cut ambition,
Read your commenters quick,
With their own limerick,
It appears you have some competition :o)
Ya know, if by some chance the woman has a sense of humor she might be able to laugh off the rude insults and sparks could develop. Hmmm. Nah, forget it...he's kicked to the curb. He doesn't have a chance. Too funny!!! :)
Mischievious limerick Fairy Godson! I wonder how many men actually think those words but (hopefully) never say them!
I think your limerick is funny. Ladies do not take it too seriously, all in good fun.
Keep the disclaimer upfront. because you might be typecasted as a single man with no luck. Yeah she looks mad!! Oh my! I wouldn't go that far.... or that fart? Your limericks are hilarious, I wonder if Jon reads them? Then you can bash Walmart together, ya know?
Maybe the title should have been "How To Lose A Girl In One Week...or Less!" This would certainly do it. LOL. Fun Hub.
Josh...All young men should have a wise Uncle Bill!!!
That's a sure way to be booted to the curb...immediately.
LOL...nice job Nephew!
Josh
Sorry, but you can forget my name
It matters not, I don't feel the same
What did you say about my dress?
Your brain is really a mess
And you'll never have fortune or fame!
how to lose a girl.. you know I come to realize how crazy funny, creative you are voted awesome..LOL :) Frank
I love Limericks. You seem quite fond of them. This one is very entertaining. I know quite a few people from Limerick, where the poems originated :) Nice work.
The was an old man from downtown,
Who's face bore a terrible frown,
All night and all day,
His smile stayed away,
Til he frowned in the ground,
No more.
Funny and entertaining.
Cheers
I'm not sure which is worse: not remembering her name or saying her dress makes her look big! Eating like a pig is pretty insulting, as well! Yes, this is definitely a winning combination to lose a girl. You sure know women, Josh!
Great take on a great movie - nice job.
Ok, I love the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". I t is one of my favorites and loved how you wrote this limerick in conjunction with the movie. Very good job blending the two. Your limerick was funny and as a woman can attest that if a guy were to say these things he would definitely not succeed!! Great job here and have of course voted and shared too!!
Great job, Josh! Keep'em coming!! You deserve the Hubpages Limerick Accolade if there is one! VUMS!
Funny, Awesome, and Shared!!! ROFL
Awesome Tips!!
Hey Ladies do not fear
for Josh will always be near.
For you men whom lurk about,
Women are ready to shut you out!! LOL
I do love reading your hubs, because you do tend to surprise as well!!! :)
With those words you don't need a week to lose a girl there,.... Say, within an hour will probably do it. :))
Now, married men better be careful..... That's totally a different story!!
Josh, Josh, Josh, what can I say, you are hilarious, lol
Love all your disclaimers, hahaha
Voting up, friend :)
Okay, you've forced me to try one:
I see how you're working this page
Getting guys and gals in a rage
But couples will kiss
As words they dismiss
And your cat puts you back in your cage.
Just joking of course! My lame effort is only to make a stand against calling any female a pig. It's like I tell my wife, "You're not fat, you're slim. You just have a lot of extra flesh making you look that way"
Great Job! Loved It!
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