My Love Loves A Man Who Snores! An Ode To A Snore

(You might try reading this with all the videos going at once!)

My Love loves a man who snores.

Of course she is the girl this man adores.

Other women have run away in great fright,

When they awoke to horrible sounds in the night.

When others might scramble for clothes in the dark,

She might try to rekindle a flame with a spark.

She seems to roll with all my faults- like a champ!

No stumbling into furniture or knocking over a lamp.

Oh sure she’s disappeared a few times before.

I once found her sleeping on the kitchen floor.

She may wake, slip out of bed, but she won’t go far.

She’s never gone further than to sleep out in the car.

I remember some times not very long ago,

When I was awakened and asked to take my snoring and go.

I’ve often had a lack of sleep caused by people next door.

They can’t sleep a wink because of my continuous snore.

Sometimes I’ve had to drink from a cold and bitter cup.

There’s a banging on the door and a “Shut the hell up!”

I try to atone and make amends- tell my story,

It’s sleep apnea, my larynx, airflow, my respiratory.

I started seeing looser women, the ones who “slept around”.

Surely they’ve heard a lot of snores and wouldn’t “put me down”.

But every whore like the one before had never heard “my” snore!

They woke with fright in the middle of the night and often away they tore.

I’ve finally met my mate. She can deal with my affliction.

She’s very patient and knows all about airways constriction.

She has a beautiful smile and her rear is so endearing.

She has so many qualities- and I think she’s hard of hearing!

What light through yonder window breaks?

What is the noise? What tremor shakes!

What is that clap and roaring thunder?

What god hath joined let none put asunder!

Surely there are limits, to what love can endure.

But seeking should be, for the heart that is pure!

My Lady doth love a man that snores.

It is certainly me, whom she adores!

“Darling, did my snoring bother you Dear?”

I hesitate, but I ask as I tremble with fear.

She’s charming and answers my question with shrugs.

And with all the grace of a queen, she removes her ear-plugs!

by Micky Dee

PS:I do apologize for using that "w__e" word. It just rhymed with snore.

Almost everyone snores- some! babies and pets snore. Does your mate sleep in another room - or another house - or in the car? You may snore too loudly. Do people in hotels bang on your door or the walls and ask you to, "shut the hell up"? You may be a loud snorer.

Males have narrower air passages than women and thus- will snore more!

If you snore only on your back your snoring is probably mild.

If you snore with your mouth closed the tongue may be the problem.

If you snore with your mouth open it may be the tissues in the throat to be the problem.

Try:

Sleeping on your side.

Use a triangular pillow.

Elevate the head of the bed.

Limit alcohol and medications as possible.

Clear the nasal passages.

Lose weight.

Snoring can be a symptom of sleep apnea which is a potentially life threatening condition. Snoring is caused by narrow airways. Sleep apnea is an obstruction to breathing. The sleeper may awaken many times during the night due to the loss of breathing. The sleeper may not remember anything at all about the awakenings.

• Sleep Apnea Increases Risk of Stroke
• by kimh039

Please enjoy these hubs below by Micky Dee!