Love Is Complex~Afterthoughts from the Mystified Affection Poem by lifesparadox

We know it’s a given to be happy in love just as being unhappy without love. The questions I have however are, can we never fall in love and still be happy? Can we be in love and not be happy. I strongly believe that loving someone and being “in love” are two totally different things. I know that we can love. I’m not just talking about family and friends. I’m talking about someone of the opposite sex too. I also know that we can be in love, with someone of the opposite or same sex. The issue is how to figure out whether you’re, loving someone or in love with someone. Most people know the difference but there are some who don’t. I have seen that it’s easy sometimes to get the two confused.

There are those who we love unconditionally such as our children, parents and other family members. Perhaps that friend you grew up with who is always just a phone call away. Sure there are ups and downs in any relationship but unconditionally means no matter what, the love will forever remain. Is there really such a thing?

Of course when you get along great with someone, can talk to them about anything, feel that they are there for you no matter what and they seem to make your life better just by being in it, you develop strong feelings for them. When you add to that things like, they make you see your own beauty inside and out, teach you stuff you could never learn before and are emotionally and physically attracted to them, you may just fall in love. Love is complex and so it makes us wonder why it’s easy to fall in and out so quickly. Could it be that the majority of us are in love with being in love?

We all want to be loved and we all will have love in our hearts at some point in our lives. Those who have never been in love or had and then reluctantly lost it, tend to make that their number one priority. They unknowingly refuse to be happy living for themselves and accepting those who are a part of their love within life, until they find it. Pushing so hard to get there that it actually makes them some of the most miserable people in the world. Also, such a challenge amongst them makes for poor decisions and more heart ache in the long run. Opening up to love is incredibly daunting for most, particularly the ones who have loved then lost. Sadly at one point or another we will all suffer from this despair and feel hopeless as to ever letting someone in again.

The hardest and most difficult situation to understand is the love that develops between two people and then one day just starts slipping away due to the changing feelings of one of them. The other is, well, left second guessing the whole relationship. Broken hearted, confused and questioning their once other half without receiving or accepting any kind of answers. Trying to provide answers to yourself can make it even worse and harder to ever imagine finding that safe place in your life again. Generally the healing process will take much longer due to the denial and uncertainty. Sadly the majority never put the pieces of their own heart back together.

In my mind and heart the only answer is to find, know and love you first and foremost. This obstacle for most is vastly intricate. Whether we have yet to ever find love, love and are in love right now or have been in love but lost it in one way or another, it is essential. I think that if we don’t know who we are and learn to accept and love ourselves than it’s seemingly impossible to not only feel a complete love for another but also be capable of giving it to them.

©COPYRIGHT April 2012 by lifesparadox