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Not-So-Gladiator

Updated on February 6, 2011
Not-So-Gladiator
Not-So-Gladiator | Source

Yeah. I’ll bet this was your typical not-so-gladiator of early Roman times, seeing his first slavering lion or hulking brown bear or well-armed Nubian on rapid approach.

Forget everything you’ve ever seen of a cool and calm and determined unhelmeted Russell Crowe charging a racing chariot of sword- and lance-bearing soldiers, or of a grimly yet serenely jut-jawed Charlton Heston shrugging off a whiplash or three. Simply sensationalized cinema for the sake of box-office receipts, I say!

Here we see a much more realistic portrayal, as gladiator Exterritor Muris — loosely translated from the Latin as ‘terrified mouse’ — happens to reflexively and uncontrollably dampen his pleated leather kilt upon first spying his fierce opponent across the dusty oval of the Coliseum.

This gladiator gig ain’t so glamorous now, is it Exterritor?    

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