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Obama as Othello ; A Shakespeare Parody. Act 1 Scene 4 - Bill Clinton Advises the President.
For the opening scene of our tale click on this link
Obama as Othello ; A Shakespeare Parody. Act 1 Scene 4 -
Bill Clinton Advises the President.
Act 1 Scene 4 : Chicago, Illinois
A meeting in the Democrat campaign headquarters in Chicago. Othell'Obama and his wife Michelle are in discussion with Senator Harold Brabantio.
Brabantio: This is it Othello, your final head-to-head tomorrow with McCain before election day,
Obama: Everything cool with me Bro,
Brabantio: Yeah! But we don't want any last minute screw ups. It could still be a little bit tricky,
Obama: Hell! Not that Joe the Plumber again?
Brabantio: I’m afraid so. They'll use him for sure since Richard Iago is chairing the debate,
Obama: He hates my guts,
Brabantio: Sure he does, he works for Fox,
Obama: Jeez! Gimme Glenn Beck or even Bill O'Reilly anyday,
Brabantio: That's sure saying something.
Obama: Amen to that! Iago is a pain in the ass
Brabantio: Well! He's gotta be more even-handed at this gig so we should be OK,
Obama: Were it my cue to fight I should have known it, without a prompter,
Brabantio: Yep! No autocue tomorrow but no sweat. We've got you well briefed and prepared for anything Iago can throw at you,
Michelle: Sure honey, you can handle him,
Brabantio: That's right, subdue him at his peril, you can deal with him. What's important is that you don't come across as a Socialist,
Obama: I ain't no Socialist,
Brabantio: I know that Othello and it's a judgement maimed and most imperfect or else you wouldn't be sitting here. Destruction on me if my bad blame causes worry, but both you and Michelle have been caught out, you know, just a little bit kinda ... talking about spreading the wealth around and all,
Obama: Your still talking about that friggin plumber ain't you?
Brabantio: Look! You gotta get him outa your mind. We need to concentrate on the big issues. We need to be clear on our position on the fiscal deficit and foreign.....
Obama: Bank managers!
Obama: Bank managers and plumbers, all pains in the asses,
Michelle: ...and Talk Show hosts,
Obama: Them too,
Brabantio: Stay off the plumbers will ya! The blue-collar vote won't like that one little bit and forget about tangling with Iago as well.
If you try and take on the networks head-on they'll skin you alive and hang your butt out to dry. And they'll do it on prime-time too. But the bankers are fair game. If you stick it to them the public will love you for it.
Obama: Willdo! And next time we meet up I'll sure tell them straight to their faces,
Brabantio: What? Are you crazy? You mess with those guys and you're out of a job dude!
Michelle: But you just said he should stick it to them,
Brabantio: Yeah! But only on TV, not in real life, not in the real world. These guys got you here so far Othello so you gotta be real nice to them,
Obama: But they ain't gonna like it hearing me bustin their balls on camera,
Brabantio: Dontcha worry Othello, they ain't so sensitive. Just play the game,
Michelle: It's kinda two-faced though isn't it?
Brabantio: Absolutely! It's a gift. And if you can pull it off you're laughing all the way to the White House for sure. Your special mandate for the state affairs will be right in your lap.
Michelle: That's crazy!
Brabantio: That's politics,
Michelle: But it's kind of cynical,
Brabantio: Hey! That's cute coming from a lawyer, you guys do it every day,
Obama: Yeah, guilty on that one your honour,
Michelle: Well all I can say is he better play it straight with me or there’ll be hell to pay, I tell ya,
Obama: No problem honey, you're ma squeeze. I ain't never gonna stray from your lovin arms. I ain't that kinda guy.
There is then a knock on the door and a tall, white-haired gentlemen enters the room.
Brabantio: Speak of the Devil. Come hither Bill, glad you could make it,
Clinton: No problem Harold, how is our guy doing?
Brabantio: Just swell. You forgiven him for seeing off your old lady,
Clinton: Ha Ha! You're a real kidder Hal. But yeah, I'm glad I still got the Presidential veto around ma household,
Brabantio: For sure
Clinton: Nah! Don't you believe it bud!
Obama: Thanks for coming along Bill,
Clinton: You got it kid. Anything to help.
Obama: No really ma man. It gives me wonder great as my content to see you here before me,
Clinton: Thanks but I hear you're up against that scumbag Iago,
Brabantio: Ah....well...erm...we ain't too concerned about him,
Obama: Nah, I'm cool about that, I ain't worrying on that score,
Clinton: Well I sure would, you better watch him tomorrow cos he's a devious son of a bitch,
Brabantio: Are we talking fiscal here?
Clinton: Nope! We're talking plumbers here,
Obama: See! What did I tell ya!
Clinton: Yeah! And if you take my advice, after tomorrow, stay away from the building trade in front of the camera,
Obama: I hear you Bro,
Clinton: Damn right! Plumbers, bricklayers, carpenters, plasterers, in fact the whole damn lotta them self-righteous assholes, they think they're something special cos they get their hands dirty. Even worse is them self-employed types. If they're running their own operation and you mention raising taxes or imposing any kinda regulatory framework, then they're coming at ya tooled up to the
Brabantio: No problem, we'll stay away from any traps this time,
Clinton: That's showing some good horse-sense people, don't mess with them. I still got leaking windows back at ma place. I knew that guy must've been a hard-line Republican, ripped me off on the estimate an' all,
Obama: I really dig your input Bill,
Clinton: You got it Othello! Just don't tell them you're a Socialist,
Obama: But I ain't a Socialist,
Clinton: I know but just don't tell them that,
Obama: That I ain't a Socialist?
Clinton: Don't even mention the word,
Obama: But what if Iago comes right out and asks me?
Clinton: Asks what?
Obama: Asks if I'm a Socialist,
Clinton: I said don't mention that word,
Obama: Yeah I know, but you said don't say it on TV
Clinton: Anywhere! Don't say it anywhere. Get used to not saying it anywhere, not in public, not in private, not on TV, in the shower, on the john, off-air, on-air. Don't even think it! Don't even think about thinking it. Practice not saying it every day, get used to it not being around. Make sure you know when not to say it and when you shouldn't say it cos whatever you do, don't say it,
Obama: Right! So what do I say then?
Clinton: Always tell 'em you're a true American, they love hearing that on TV. Wrap yourself in the flag and forget what Roderigo said the other day. He's just a jerk,
Brabantio: He was stirring up trouble again
Clinton: You said it! But you took him on Hal. Damn right you did! He gotta nerve saying he's Kenyan,
Obama: I ain't Kenyan!
Clinton: OK! But don't tell them that you're not a Kenyan,
Obama: But I ain't a friggin Kenyan
Clinton: I know! But just don't tell them that,
Obama: Don't tell them something I'm not?
Clinton: You got it! Don't tell them that you're not and don't tell them that you're not a Socialist,
Obama: I ain't a goddamn Socialist for Chrissake!
Clinton: I didn't say you were. I said you weren't and I told you not to mention that word. Didn't I tell you not to mention that word? And don’t blaspheme, you’re a God-fearing Christian not a goddam Socialist. C’mon Hal! What you teaching this kid?
Brabantio: I told him,
Clinton: You told him what?
Brabantio: I told him not to tell them that he's anything that he's not,
Clinton: Which he isn't?
Brabantio: Of course not,
Clinton: What is he then?
Brabantio: A true American.
Clinton: Fine! Then we're settled. You see Othello? That's how it's done. It's pretty simple when you get down to it. Like I said keep practising not telling them what you ain't because if you start admitting that you ain't what they think you are then they're gonna think you're exactly what you're saying you ain't, but saying what you really are,
Obama: You've lost me dude,
Brabantio: Put it this way Othello, you've heard the expression "I am not a crook" haven't you?
Obama: Of course,
Brabantio: Same scenario,
Obama: Aaahh! ..... I gotcha
Clinton: You're not a crook are you?
Obama: I'm a true American
Clinton: Now you're learning.
Obama: What can I say Bill? You're a tremendous inspiration and by your gracious presence I’ll deliver a round, unvarnished tale. More than pertains to feats of broil and battle my friend.
Clinton: Do me a favour kiddo. Leave that kinda shit to the East-Coast Ivy Leaguers will ya? We need some plain talkin tomorrow, shoot from the hip and don’t take no lip. Now I gotta go, gonna watch me some tennis over at the McFetridge. It’s female doubles you know and front row seats. I sure do love sports at the court. But I'll be tuning into the show tomorrow. So I'll take ma leave and say bye to y'all now. Good luck folks,
They say farewell and ex-President Clinton departs the scene.
Brabantio: Invaluable advice there Othello
Obama: Mmm, yeah, I guess so,
Michelle: You don't seem so sure honey,
Obama: Mmm ... well.... I was just thinking about something he said,
Brabantio: Like what exactly?
Obama: You know, like when he said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" does that mean that.......
Brabantio: Othello! Let's not go there
Obama: I'm a true American
Act 2 : Scene 1
- Obama as Othello ; A Shakespeare Parody. Act 2 Scene 1 - The Head to Head Debate with McCain.
In the town of Hempstead, New York State, it is the scene of the televised debate at Hofstra University for the third and final head-to-head of the Presidential candidates.
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