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20 Signs the Blind Date is Not Going Well

Updated on June 21, 2011
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing for HubPages for over 5 years. She covers a wide variety of topics - anything from hamsters to office work.

Is it too late to run away?

Dating can be such a stressful chore at times. Some people act as if dating is always a blast, but quite frankly, those people must not be dating the dudes I've met. Aside from the awkward first date, probably the most stressful date is the blind date.

Have you ever dated a person and within minutes you start to wonder if your friends secretly hate you? You begin to wonder if they really know you at all? Occasionally you have friends that just simply set you up with someone because you are single and their male friend is single. Often, you have nothing in common with this person at all. By the end of the date, you determine you need to find new friends.

I also consider online dating similar to the blind date. Let's face it, you are going out with someone you do not know whatsoever. You might both like the same movies, puppies, and long walks on the beach, but within mnutes, you know none of that makes a difference. This dude is not for you and you need to get out!

Let's go through a list of 20 signs the blind date is not going well. After all, it is funny now in hindsight. If not, I hope therapy is working out for you.

20 Signs the Blind Date is Not Going Well:

  1. Your date lets you know at 10 o'clock that it is past his curfew and mother will be upset.
  2. Your date lets you know how much you remind him of his mother.
  3. He brings his dog along on the date, feeds her from his plate, and tells you how she is the only woman for him.
  4. You are riding in the car with him and he mentions you are going on a long journey into the woods.
  5. Your date tells you he would like to show you where he hides the bodies.
  6. The waitress asks, "What would you and your dad like for dinner?"
  7. He brings his children along on the date.
  8. Even worse, he brings his ex-wife along on the date.
  9. He has conveniently "forgotten" his wallet. He then asks if you can run really fast.
  10. His cell phone sits on the table all night and he constantly answers it. Often, he argues into the phone with phrases like, "I told you I will have your money tomorrow! No! Wait... no!"
  11. He starts to argue in the same manner, but not into his phone. He is having a lively argument with the empty chair at the table.
  12. He refers to the waitress as "Hot Stuff" every time she comes to the table.
  13. Your date mentions he is a former porn star.
  14. Your date mentions he is a current porn star.
  15. He starts to shake and twitch at the table, and says something about the full moon.
  16. Not only does he refuse to open doors for you, he seems to be amused by slamming the doors in your face.
  17. He challenges you to a burping contest.
  18. He gets really angry when you win the burping contest.
  19. Your date starts crying when describing his ex-girlfriend. He also has pictures to show you. He even has some old Valentine's Day cards. Then he shows you the restraining order.
  20. The date ends when he announces he is late for his appointment with his parole officer.

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Submit a Comment

  • MicahI profile image

    Micah 6 years ago from Central Florida

    Did you come up with these or find them somewhere else? They are quite funny!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Oh, these are all mine. I've had some crazy dating experiences. Luckily, I have not experienced all of these though. Thanks for the comment!

  • QudsiaP1 profile image

    QudsiaP1 6 years ago

    Lol, funny as hell!

    This is exactly why I would NEVER go on a blind date. :p

  • Cogerson profile image

    Cogerson 6 years ago from Virginia

    Funny stuff Jeannieinabottle.....luckily I do not have to go through those experiences favorite lines from this hub....#5 and #6......voted up and funny....keep up the great hubs.

  • CASE1WORKER profile image

    CASE1WORKER 6 years ago from UNITED KINGDOM

    excellent reasons- just hope i dont meet him

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks everyone for the comments! I am glad all of you enjoyed the hub. Blind dates are never a good experience.

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 6 years ago from Orlando, FL

    Entertaining and informative hub! I've never been on a blind date and after reading this probably never will be! Haha!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks for the comment. Yes, I have found it is best not to go out on blind dates. At the very least, you must question your friends to determine why they think you should date this person. "He is single and you are single" is not a good reason. I've learned that the hard way.

  • nycgrl profile image

    nycgrl 6 years ago from New York

    I had to restrain myself from not laughing loudly at my office while reading this, too hilarious! I would hope that you have not experienced all of these. I have never been on a blind date set up by friends because I have always refused and all my friends and family know better. However, I have done tons of online dating and I know what you mean. Though I rather go on 10 online dates then ever be set up. At least through online you can see their profile and chat with them beforehand.

    I've always seen dating as job interviews but with cocktails. Its the same premise really but at least with a job interview you might actually get something out of it half the time where as with dating most of the time you are just being forced through hours of torture only to never see the person again.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    I have not experienced everything on this list, but I have certainly experienced a few. I really did have to tell a guy once, "No, I would prefer that your 11 year old son not go out on our first date." How creepy is that? He told me his son was used to going along on his dates. Oh, yeah, like that is normal. It did not work out. I also went out with someone that looked old enough to be my dad. That was not so pleasant either.

    Dates really are just as stressful, if not more stressful, than a job interview. Somehow I usually manage to find better jobs than ever getting a second date. Thanks for the comment!

  • Kalux profile image

    Kalux 6 years ago from Canada

    So funny and not completely unrealistic! :)

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks for the comment. Yes, there are some creepy guys out there and, for some reason, they want to date me.

  • Tawna profile image

    Tawna 6 years ago from Dayton, Ohio

    I have been on a few blind dates and ALL work horrible! I met my husband online though. I had very strict rules when online dating. The first date was always a coffee shop or a quick drink and NEVER a long dinner etc. That way either of us to bolt if needed. Oh and I never let him pick me up unless we hit passed date 3! It took alittle while but did find the hubby on yahoo singles!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    That is great that you met your husband though Yahoo singles. I tried that a long time ago, but I had no luck. I actually met a normal guy one time on Myspace (yes, Myspace!), but he was too lazy and it didn't last. I have very similar rules to your rules for online dating. I also like to search online to look for criminal records once I get a last name. I actually dated a guy one time and looked him up online and found he had a record for domestic violence! I dropped him really fast. You just never know! Thanks for the comment!

  • VioletSun profile image

    VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

    Thanks for the chuckles! Twitching and shaking at the table on a full moon would worry me. LOL! I thank God I am not dating, met my mate online in a spiritual forum. When we met offline after jabbering for over a year by email, we were exactly offline as we were online, and it's the best relationship I have experienced (it's been 8 years) as my past relationships weren't good.

    Voted up and funny!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    I am glad you enjoyed the hub. You are lucky to find someone online. Every now and then, I give it a try, but it is usually a disaster. Thanks for the comment and the vote up!

  • Der Meister profile image

    Der Meister 5 years ago from Virgo Supercluster

    4.You are riding in the car with him and he mentions you are going on a long journey into the woods.

    lol...sounds like the beginning of a horror movie.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Yes, sometimes I believe my dates are part of a horror movie... either that, or one of those prank shows. Sometimes I just sit there waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump around the corner and tell me I am punked.

    Thanks for reading and for the comment!

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