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Part 5 of The Family Sarnath: Nothing Says 'America' like an Underground Cthulhu Cult

Updated on May 31, 2011

Chapter 10: What have We Learned so Far?

Let's review: Mr. and Mrs. Keane are now in league with the Deep ones, an amphibious and immortal race of ancient beings residing at the bottom of the ocean who require human sacrifice for some odd reason, and Billy has been feverishly studying occult literature in hopes of harnessing strange powers and of perhaps raising Great Cthulu from his tomb under the Pacific (a tentacled, god-like alien entity). Jeffy, due to his own rebellion against the Deep Ones, has been abducted and possibly murdered by them, and in his place the slimy entity known only as The P.J. has emerged. The P.J. (Priest of Jog-Sothoth-it's a soft J) is an 8000 years old Deep One who has taken little Billy under his wing, finding his excitement for human sacrifice and Cthulu resurrection quite endearing. Unfortunately, little Billy has become too big for his britches, and has developed a demeanor and blood-thirst which are quite unsettling to the Keane family. While Mr. and Mrs. Keane had hoped to maintain low-profiles in midst of their sacrificial aspirations, Billy has evidently lost all desire to retain any semblance of subtly. Under The P.J's domineering influence, Billy has not only begun to usurp his parents own authority, but has begun recruiting fellow classmates in his sick desire to offer countless human bodies to his ultimate master, Dagon (a fish-like alien entity who commands worship and who is under the authority of Cthulu).

And Dolly? She's losing it.

Thank you Mr. Lovecraft, for captions that Bil Keane would never dream of.

Chapter 11: Yog-Sothoth is Wasted on the Young

Rebellion can be a stressful thing for a parent. The constant challenging of authority and the questioning of the most menial of requests are things which every parent expects, yet dreads. Billy took rebellion to a whole new level. In fact, "rebellion" may be a quite inadequate description for the actions of Billy. Among his peers, Billy was a domineering terror. Opposing teams in football eventually forfeited as soon as Billy arrived on the field- the fear of having their skulls crushed was far too persuasive. Close friends of Billy were often stuck in a conundrum. While the pure innocence of their childhood felt fully opposed to assisting Billy's so-called "human harvest," the threat of having their limbs removed was too severe to ignore. Billy's terror invaded the home as well, as the once loved visits by Grandma were now seen by Billy as intrusive and invasive, and Grandma feared for her life.  Billy was clearly out of control, and Mr. and Mrs. Keane knew that something had to be done. 


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