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The Morning Conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama #11

Updated on October 24, 2011

April 9, 2011 - No Government Shutdown

A fictional account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Eleventh in a series.

Michelle: Good Morning! I see you have a big smile on your face.

Barack: Yes! Avoided a government shutdown! I might be smiling but I am tired.

Michelle: So tell me, what did you have to give up?

Barack: We gave up 38.5 billion dollars, which is really nothing since our deficit is already in the trillions. But other things survived. It was a tough fight.

Michelle: You know, if most Americans ran their households the way the US government runs we would have big problems.

Barack: Well, most Americans do run their households like the government, which explains why we are in the mess we are in.

Michelle: Barack, cut the crap! Americans are in trouble because we trust big corporations - you know the ones that pay zero taxes - and because of the banks, politicians, government...need I continue?

Barack: Man, Michelle. What's got you so upset today? Just the other day you were telling me not to worry and now you seem upset. We just had a victory.

Michelle: Who is 'we,' Barack? The politicians got a victory. Once again, 'the people' were pawns in a political game. Sorry, it just bothers me.

Barack: I hate that we had to cancel our weekend getaway to Colonial Williamsburg because of this budget stuff. What are our plans for the day?

Michelle: I'm going to hang around the White House with the girls and Momma today.

Barack: Remember that time when I was feeling down and you were able to cheer me up?

Michelle: Which of those 5456 times are you talking about?

Barack: Funny! No. I mean you are always able to get me out of a funk, so now I am going to get you out of one.

Michelle: I doubt it.

Barack: Here we go - If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Michelle: Not funny.

Barack: Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist? What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Michelle: Barack...

Barack: OK, here's another - I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?!

Michelle: (smiling)

Barack: Hey! I got a smile! - If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Michelle: (smiling)

Barack: If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Michelle: Ha ha ha!!

Barack: 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

Michelle: Uh, what are you tryin' to say?

Barack: It's a joke! - Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Michelle: (yawning)

Barack: Oh, so you can do better?

Michelle: Of course! Make sure the Secret Service can't hear me!

Barack: OK. Go ahead.

Michelle: The teacher asked Leroy to use the following words in a sentence: DISMAY - I went for a blood test, the doctor pulled out a big needle. He said,"DISMAY hurt a little."

Barack: Michelle!!

Michelle: COPULATE - I called 911 and an hour later when they show up, I said,"COPULATE!"

Barack: Ha ha ha!!!

Michelle: BEWARE - I asked the man at the unemployment office, "Is this BEWARE I get a job?"

Barack: (crying from laughter)

Michelle: COATROOM - The judge said, "One more outburst like that, and you'll be thrown out the COATROOM."

Barack: Oh, God!! (laughing hard)

Michelle: DEFENSE - I ran from the cops, and hopped DEFENSE and got away.

Barack: (laughing hysterically)

Michelle: HONOR ROLL - We was playin' poker on the stoop the other day, man I was HONOR ROLL.

Barack: OK OK!! Stop! Stop! (laughing uncontrollably) You are Honor Roll!!

Michelle: Had enough? (smiling)

Barack: Yes! Yes!

Michelle: Thanks for getting me in a better mood.

Barack: I love you. Gotta go meet with some of the staff.

Michelle: Oh and by the way. I hope that 38.5 billion dollars that "we gave up" was not in government spending towards education. 'Leroy' is a joke to us. But he is real in many urban areas.

Barack: I get the message, Michelle. See you later.

Michelle: Good bye.

Stay Tuned for More 'Morning Conversations...' with Barack & Michelle Obama, next time!

Copyright 2011 - Dexter Yarbrough

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    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      They should get better as you move along! Thanks, Lisa!

    • Lisas-thoughts101 profile image

      Lisas-thoughts101 6 years ago from Northeast Texas

      Dexter, I love the jokes barack told michele. chopsticks and toothpicks was too cute!

      Lisa

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Thanks! I love a good laugh!

    • profile image

      Lesleysherwood 6 years ago

      Dexter... these jokes are brilliant. "DISMAY hurt a little." love it. ha ha ha

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Great idea, Mr. RJ! I will incorporate it into my next one. Thanks so much! I really appreciate it!

    • Reynold Jay profile image

      Reynold Jay 6 years ago from Saginaw, Michigan

      I thought I would check out one of the older HUBS and see what you were up to a few months back. Looks good to me. I'm going to mention "The Monkey Wrench." Imagine that something upexpected occured in each conversation. A maid enters and has an outspoken opnion, one of the children enters and has a problem at school, a fire alarm goes off....

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 7 years ago from United States

      Thanks, Ashantina!

    • Ashantina profile image

      Ashantina 7 years ago

      Up/awesome and too funny!!!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 7 years ago from United States

      Great, Ghost! Thanks for reading!

    • profile image

      Ghost32 7 years ago

      COPULATE: Man, with all the activity I've been seeing lately around a S.W.A.T. shooting in Tucson, I could name one guy's widow who'd really have appreciated it if the cops WERE late. Like, 100 years or so late...

      Michelle got ME laughing. I needed that.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 7 years ago from United States

      Hi Rkhyclak! I am so glad you enjoyed the series. Thank you so much!

    • rkhyclak profile image

      rkhyclak 7 years ago from Ohio

      I just finished reading the entire series...WillStar linked you on Pop's hub this morning! Great reads. Keep it up!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 7 years ago from United States

      Thank you, Breakfastpop! I am glad you enjoyed it!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 7 years ago

      Fabulous! Voted up funny, useful and awesome too!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 7 years ago from United States

      Thank you, sir! Will certainly reciprocate!

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      It's hilarious stuff, Dex!

      I'm going to try to send some people your way.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 7 years ago from United States

      WillStarr - Glad I discovered YOU! I was just commenting on your hub 'The Upside-down Wedding Cake.' Thanks for checking out my fiction on Barack and Michelle.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Hey Dexter!

      Glad I discovered you...great stuff!

    • N.E. Wright profile image

      N.E. Wright 7 years ago from Bronx, NY

      Dexter,

      I am thinking you are better and braver, but that is just my opinion. LOL.

      Keep it coming. People are loving it.

      Take Care,

      N.E.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 7 years ago from United States

      I hope to be as good a writer someday as you are, N.E. Thanks so much for the support and kind words!

    • N.E. Wright profile image

      N.E. Wright 7 years ago from Bronx, NY

      Thank you for this new one Dexter.

      Love it.

      Take Care,

      N.E.

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