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The adventures of Jim Naive

Updated on March 24, 2011

 This is a tale of a naive man who has problems dealing with the world and hasn't heard of a lot of things. This story takes him to the world of shopping.

 

The Adventures Of Jim Naive

This is a story about a man who is a bit innocent and hasn't heard of a lot of words and phrases that we take for granted. I don't want to mention his real name to avoid any embarrassment for him incase anyone recognizes him by his antics. For the purpose of this tale i am going to call him Jim Naive. Can i just point out out that this is definitely not his real name, in fact half of it isn't real. Yes his real name is Dave Naive. Well that's it. I've told you his real name now, or i would have done if he was real, but as i am sure you have guessed he is just a figmet of my imagination.

Anyway, this is a tale of Jim Naive going shopping and the upset and confusion it causes him. Jim usually shopped in his small local store but he hadn't been out shopping in a big city in years and heard there were a lot of new fangled devices to help you manage. He had heard of something called paying by credit card. There was also places where you could do 24 hour shopping. He wondered if that was 24 hours in a week or a month because it certainly couldn't be in a day. That would just be too crazy! There were also something called a bar code which would be put on items. He wondered if it was just for alcohol and other things you could get in a bar or would anything else have this.

Firstly Jim passed by an outdoor market and a lot of traders were shouting out, advertising their products. One man he heard saying "over here, Eddie's stall" . How odd, Jim thought, i'm quite tall myself, but i don't go about boasting about it. Jim had heard about businesses having contacts with the criminal underworld and so entered a large shopping mall with a heavy heart. How obvious can you be, he thought. It's obviously called that because of the gangsters moll. It's not even very original. He ventured into the mall, and he was looking for a jacket but when he seen some jackets in the window they always seemed to be beside a sign that said Menswear. He thought i know they swear but it's as if they are really trying to encourage it here. He thought of giving up and going home but he knew he had to get a jacket and would venture into one of the swearing shops. He had heard of ordering stuff from home but wondered if he was being tricked . Someone told him you can order goods from Amazon and on a lot of occasions you can get it cheaper and quite quickly. But Jim thought How daft do you think i am. How could ordering items from a tropical jungle be cheap and quick! Eventually Jim was in a shop and decided on a jacket to buy. He took it to the cash desk and the young shop assistant asked him if he would like it wrapped. Jim knew some of the words that the youth of today used so he joined in with his own rapping .

You know i like this jacket

Even though it's costing me a packet

Yes i really do like it

And it's a very good fit.

 

Jim thought he had bonded with his rapping. The shop assistant was embarrassed for her and for him and could barely look at him.

Jim left the shop, smiling to himself content that he was fitting in very well. He thought to himself It really is amazing that people used to think i was a bit naive or even stupid. Jim smiled to himself all the way home.

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    • michael ely profile image
      Author

      michael ely 6 years ago from Scotland

      Ha Ha, attemptedhumour, I like your comments here, and i am glad that you liked this one.

      Cheers. Michael.

    • attemptedhumour profile image

      attemptedhumour 6 years ago from Australia

      You silly sod. William Shakespeare started like this, or was it William Tell? Anyway what a daft really enjoyable hub. I loved it and all the puns worked a treat. Cheers

    • michael ely profile image
      Author

      michael ely 6 years ago from Scotland

      Hi bcatgray, Thanks a lot for your lovely words.

      This is probably going to sound insincere when written down but it is true. The big thing for me is when i get a reaction like yours. If just one person liked each Hub and it brought a smile or a laugh that feels great. So, Betty, once again, Thankyou. Much appreciated.

    • bcatgray profile image

      bcatgray 6 years ago from United States of America

      Michael, I love your stories! That's why I nominated you for 2010's Top 100 Hubbers!!! I hope you get it because your sense of humor and the stories you write along with it are so good!