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Now, wait just a doggone minute! — Before you go leaping to conclusions and accusing me of being condescending, or of making some sort of impolitic or pejorative or perhaps even misogynistic comment: I’m not talking about this woman’s mental state!
I am simply saying that she’s unbalanced. I mean, look at her, already! She’s lucky she doesn’t topple over backward in a slight breeze!
Good thing that teeny little change purse she happens to be clutching to her breast is loaded with nickels. And also lucky for her that she remembered to brush all of her frothy ginger curls far forward before leaving the house. Thank goodness she’s got that hefty string bow out right out front.
I suggest that before a headwind picks up, she might want to cut those cute little puffy balls off the backs of her cottony snuggy socks. Or maybe walk around, zombie-like, with her arms thrust forward as far as she can stretch. Or perhaps straighten up just a wee tad.
(Maybe hang a clothes iron around her neck? Try some shoes with really big heels? Sack of marbles in each front pants pocket? Grab onto a counterweighted stroller? Don a really really large sun visor?)
- Three-Stripe Polo
Three-Stripe Polo Our friend here was sold this polo shirt by the very persuasive young saleslady at Rondoâs House for The Very Big, The Quite Tall, and The Visually Stunning. The lass contended that our pal could circumvent the fattening illusion.
Ever have that feeling sneaking up on you that something just isn't right? Here's a cartoon that captures that awful mouse-trap feeling.
- Dog Not to Be Fooled With
Dog Not to Be Fooled With, rickzimmerman 2010 Monday, July 6th, 4:10 p.m., 8579 Peachtree Dunwoody Rd NE, Sandy Springs, GA â Outgoing Peewee Girl Sprout Pixie Pinderpest rings the doorbell, hoping to finalize the sale of the last two boxes of...
- Hector Himalayahead, Heavyweight Contender
Hector Himalayahead, Heavyweight Contender A phrenologistâs fever-dream! Hector Himalayahead has taken his share of lumps. (As well as my share, your share, and apparently the shares of just about all the citizens of Mound Bayou, Mississippi!) I...
- Barrister Reginald Rakestache
Barrister Reginald Rakestache Distinguished British barrister Sir Reginald Rakestache, slumped blinkered and bedraggled over his hobnail boots, has just completed a frustratingly long and arduous argument of a not-so-brief client brief before Her...
- Rude Moose
Can you believe this boisterously obnoxious bovine?
Surprised Rather than simply 'surprised', I suppose we must say that âshockedâ is definitely more like it. For here we can clearly see that poor Peteyâs pince-nez glasses are no longer pincing his nez, but are in fact airborne, as are his...
- Test-Tube Tinto Shreds a Gnarly Half-Pipe
Test-Tube Tinto Shreds a Gnarly Half-Pipe Citizens of the Global Village: prepare to meet your future! For 12-year-old Tinto has been born and raised in the modern American southwest, the locale of much of the urban, business and economic growth...