Unbalanced Woman

Now, wait just a doggone minute! — Before you go leaping to conclusions and accusing me of being condescending, or of making some sort of impolitic or pejorative or perhaps even misogynistic comment: I’m not talking about this woman’s mental state!

I am simply saying that she’s unbalanced. I mean, look at her, already! She’s lucky she doesn’t topple over backward in a slight breeze!

Good thing that teeny little change purse she happens to be clutching to her breast is loaded with nickels. And also lucky for her that she remembered to brush all of her frothy ginger curls far forward before leaving the house. Thank goodness she’s got that hefty string bow out right out front.

I suggest that before a headwind picks up, she might want to cut those cute little puffy balls off the backs of her cottony snuggy socks. Or maybe walk around, zombie-like, with her arms thrust forward as far as she can stretch. Or perhaps straighten up just a wee tad.

(Maybe hang a clothes iron around her neck? Try some shoes with really big heels? Sack of marbles in each front pants pocket? Grab onto a counterweighted stroller? Don a really really large sun visor?)