Do alpha males - Mr. perfects of romantic novels give rise to unrealistic expect

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   anusha15posted 11 years ago

   Do alpha males - Mr. perfects of romantic novels give rise to unrealistic expectations from men?
   
   Many say that reading romance sometimes is the saviour of romantic dreams. But the imaginary man that features in these dreams is not just filthy rich - he is caring (might not seem nice in the beginning though, but finally it is revealed he is caring), considerate, possessive (only enough to make the woman feel too special), and sexy and loving etc etc. So what do you think? Does this list makes dating difficult? Do unrealistic expectations have a significant role in demise or not a high fly of many relationships?

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   lou2212posted 11 years ago

   i think that it does give unrealistic expectations because in the books the guy is considdered perfect but in reality no human being is perfect, everyone has there flawes so this dream guy does not exist. others may say that they do exist bbut thats only because they have found the person who is the equal, there soul mate, therefore giving them the illusion that person is perfect.`

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      anusha15posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      The dream guy isn't perfect - in fact sometimes he is so pathetic, it really becomes annoying to see the heroine bearing with him. Problem is some people would just see one side of the equation - just the green patch of the grass in the whole lot

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   M. T. Dremerposted 11 years ago

   I do think, to a certain extent, it can be damaging to some relationships, but ultimately it all lies in the person reading it. This is a question that is frequently asked of men and pornography, as it provides unrealistic depictions of women that can potentially hurt real life relationships. But a lot of it depends on the individuals ability to differentiate fiction from non-fiction. Most of us read a book or watch a movie and we walk away from it knowing it isn't real. But if someone is getting stuck in these worlds and is using them as the standard for their own lives, then it's a deeper problem than just trashy fiction. Their significant others' opinion also has an influence on that sense or realism, depending on which they encourage. It's a lengthy debate, but I think that the blame for any damage caused lies with the person, not the inanimate product.

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   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   Yes, they do. When I feel mistreated by my partner twice a year, I read up some of my favorite romance novels and they make me feel better. Yes, the list makes dating difficult. However, I don't use those to compare my partner to. The perfect man is not what I desire in a relationship. If he is perfect, then it is boring, there will be nothing new. I would know every move he would make in the relationship. It's happened before and it irritates me. In my favorite romances, the man isn't perfect, because no man ever is.

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      anusha15posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      True, no one is perfect, and I'm surprised I didn't get a completely different answer to this question - the imperfect stories/situation/mistakes can also make you feel better/think better of your partner

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   Renee Collinsposted 11 years ago

   I believe that it can make things difficult if the reader starts expecting potential partners to behave the way the men in the novels do. Instead of weeding people out because they arent like Edward Cullen or Christian Grey, they need to accept that most people imperfect and look beyond that.

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      anusha15posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      But Edward Cullen wasn't a man and I don't know if he was perfect... but yes you're right, some people tend to make unrealistic comparisons - that too just with the good things of fictional characters - ignoring their imperfections

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      Renee Collinsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      True, neither characters are really perfect, they're just the first two that come to mind when I think of women going crazy over a fictional character. I've read so many "looking for Christian Grey" comments it's nauseating.

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