Do you believe (most) men in their (20s) are looking to "settle down"? or "play the field"?
I read numerous posts from women in their 20s who are very unhappy with men in their age group when it comes to dating & having a serious relationship/marriage mindset. I suspect gender differences especially during our formative years play a large part. Very few men "pretended" to be fathers and husbands the way a lot of women did as little girls with being mothers to their dolls or imagining fairytale happily ever endings with a prince/knight. Are these women being "unrealistic" when they expect men in their 20s to have the same dating and marriage goals? Are men in their 30s more likely?
I think it really depends on the guy, but I don't think anyone in their 20's should settle down - male or female. It might be a tougher pill for girls to swallow because it is hard-wired in us to find "the one", but it's just not plausible. These days there are more options open to us, and even though I myself took it for granted during my 20's I wish I would have explored those options more thoroughly when I had the chance. Your 20's should be for finding yourself...not someone else.
"Your 20's should be for finding yourself...not someone else." - Sounds like excellent advice to me. Also having unrealistic expectations can lead to heartache. Naturally there will always be "exceptions" but exceptions are not the rule. :-)
The 20s are a time to test the relationship waters. To settle down in one's 20s is quaint and old fashioned. In the past, people settle down in their 20s because of societal expectations.
Men in their 30's are usually ready to settle down. Guys in their 20's have barely stepped into the world. They like to drink, smoke, just enjoy. By their 30's, they've done it all and have gotten a little tired of the party scene. That's what I understand from experience.
Makes a lot of sense to me. Unfortunately young women in their late teens and 20s continue to (expect guys their own age) to be "ready" to become "serious/settle down". If they knew it's not true maybe they could avoid having their hearts broken.
Some women figure it out and date older men. They have their lives the way they like it, understand what they want and how to get it, know plenty about being on their own and just want someone else to share life with. It's how I have an older hubby.
Definitely, women also. Smart women AREN'T about to settle down in their 20s either. They want to know who THEY are before settling down. That is wise.
There are no "men" in their 20's, they are boys who haven't even started maturing much less be in a healthy, meaningful relationship. It's common knowledge that women are are normally smarter and mature a lot faster than a man. Men develop faster physically. The majority of men don't even start to mature until they reach age 30.
Ironically when discussed this is commonsense and yet women in their late teens and 20s continue to be unrealistic in their expectations and allow themselves to become emotionally invested with immature guys and then later claim "men" are no good.
They are MEN; however, they see their 20s as an opportunity to explore options and these options include relationships as well as studies and careers. Only OLD-FASHIONED people settle down in their 20s.
Smart men as well as smart women see their 20s as a time for experimentation in relationships. The 20s are way too young to settle down. People who often rush to settle down in their 20s oftentimes regret years later.
People married or settled down in their 20s in the 1950s and 1960s because of strong societal prohibitions against sexual experimentation until marriage. Then when they hit their late 30s and early 40s, they experienced a change of life crisis so they recaptured their youth, often having affairs and dalliances which they should have had while they were in their 20s. They saw this change of life crisis as their last chance to sow their oats before becoming old.
From the late 1960s on, those who have sowed their wild oats and played the field in their 20s when they later marry in their 30s are less likely to be unfaithful and live and act with regrets because their attitude and outlook are "been there, done that." When they settle down, they SETTLE DOWN with no regrets for what could and might have been.
gmwilliams, As always you make some valid points. Just as mollymcphillips stated: "Your 20's should be for finding yourself...not someone else." I think the big problem is most young people don't think about their potential future options!
Men in 20s seems very busy as they have to complete their study and after that they search jobs.So, this process of completing study and getting job consumed his 20s to 30s time and hence after 30s he become able to stand on his feet. So most of the men get married after 30s.
by dashingscorpio 3 years ago
Is there a real difference between “fear of commitment” and “refusing to settle”?When a man is hesitant to enter into an exclusive relationship or marriage it’s often said he has a "fear of commitment" and when a woman is hesitant to enter into an exclusive relationship or turns...
by ngureco 7 years ago
How Can a Girl Tell from a Man’s Eyes If He’s The Type That Can Settle Down in Relationship?Settle Down In A Relationship And Raise A Family without Wasting Her Precious Time In Small Talk With The Guy?
by Keneisha 4 years ago
What is marriage material?Im only 21 right now but I would like to understand if it me or are guys my age just not ready to settle down into having serious relationships?
by thirdmillenium 8 years ago
Given a choice and funds, where would you like to live (migrate, if necessary) and die?Or, do you want to stay put where you are?Me, first flight to South Pacific Islands
by JOELL1206 8 years ago
MY SON FATHER IS NOT READY TO SETTLE DOWN SO HE ISNT ONLY MINE WOULD I B HAPPIER WITHOUT HIM?WE HAVE A SON TOGETHER BUT HE ISNT READY TO SETTLE DOWN, SO HE IS WITH MANY WOMEN I JUST FEEL I CANT TAKE IT ANY MORE. DO I STAY OR GO
by threekeys 21 months ago
Do you think married couples in their 20's or early 30's are suffering from role confusion;and is this acting as a detrimental stressor to their marriage?
Copyright © 2019 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|