Do you believe (most) men in their (20s) are looking to "settle down"? or "play

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   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   Do you believe (most) men in their (20s) are looking to "settle down"? or "play the field"?
   
   I read numerous posts from women in their 20s who are very unhappy with men in their age group when it comes to dating & having a serious relationship/marriage mindset. I suspect gender differences especially during our formative years play a large part. Very few men "pretended" to be fathers and husbands the way a lot of women did as little girls with being mothers to their dolls or imagining fairytale happily ever endings with a prince/knight. Are these women being "unrealistic" when they expect men in their 20s to have the same dating and marriage goals? Are men in their 30s more likely?
   
   

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   mollymcphillipsposted 11 years ago

   I think it really depends on the guy, but I don't think anyone in their 20's should settle down - male or female. It might be a tougher pill for girls to swallow because it is hard-wired in us to find "the one", but it's just not plausible. These days there are more options open to us, and even though I myself took it for granted during my 20's I wish I would have explored those options more thoroughly when I had the chance. Your 20's should be for finding yourself...not someone else.

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      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      "Your 20's should be for finding yourself...not someone else." - Sounds like excellent advice to me. Also having unrealistic expectations can lead to heartache. Naturally there will always be "exceptions" but exceptions are not the rule. :-)

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      gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      The 20s are a time to test the relationship waters.  To settle down in one's 20s is quaint and old fashioned. In the past, people settle down in their 20s because of societal expectations.

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   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   Men in their 30's are usually ready to settle down. Guys in their 20's have barely stepped into the world. They like to drink, smoke, just enjoy. By their 30's, they've done it all and have gotten a little tired of the party scene. That's what I understand from experience.

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      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Makes a lot of sense to me. Unfortunately young women in their late teens and 20s continue to (expect guys their own age) to be "ready" to become "serious/settle down". If they knew it's not true maybe they could avoid having their hearts broken.

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      lburmasterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Some women figure it out and date older men. They have their lives the way they like it, understand what they want and how to get it, know plenty about being on their own and just want someone else to share life with. It's how I have an older hubby.

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      gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Definitely, women also.  Smart women AREN'T about to settle down in their 20s either.  They want to know who THEY are before settling down.  That is wise.

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   Alphadogg16posted 11 years ago

   There are no "men" in their 20's, they are boys who haven't even started maturing much less be in a healthy, meaningful relationship. It's common knowledge that women are are normally smarter and mature a lot faster than a man. Men develop faster physically. The majority of men don't even start to mature until they reach age 30.

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      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Ironically when discussed this is commonsense and yet women in their late teens and 20s continue to be unrealistic in their expectations and allow themselves to become emotionally invested with immature guys and then later claim "men" are no good.

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      gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      They are MEN; however, they see their 20s as an opportunity to explore options and these options include relationships as well as studies and careers. Only OLD-FASHIONED people settle down in their 20s.

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   gmwilliamsposted 11 years ago

   
   
   Smart men as well as smart women see their 20s as a time for experimentation in relationships.  The 20s are way too young to settle down.  People who often rush to settle down in their 20s oftentimes regret years later. 
   
   People married or settled down in their 20s in the 1950s and 1960s because of strong societal prohibitions against sexual experimentation until marriage.  Then when they hit their late 30s and early 40s, they experienced a change of life crisis so they recaptured their youth, often having affairs and dalliances which they should have had while they were in their 20s.  They saw this change of life crisis as their last chance to sow their oats before becoming old.   
   
   From the late 1960s on, those who have sowed their wild oats and played the field in their 20s when they later marry in their 30s are less likely to be unfaithful and live and act with regrets because their attitude and outlook are "been there, done that."  When they settle down, they SETTLE DOWN with no regrets for what could and might have been.

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      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      gmwilliams, As always you make some valid points. Just as mollymcphillips  stated: "Your 20's should be for finding yourself...not someone else." I think the big problem is most young people don't think about their potential future options!

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   SatendraSainiposted 11 years ago

   Men in 20s seems very busy as they have to complete their study and after that they search jobs.So, this process of completing study and getting job consumed his 20s to 30s time and hence after 30s he become able to stand on his feet. So most of the men get married after 30s.

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      gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      This is correct, at least among middle, upper middle, & upper class  men.They're pursuing their studies & careers. It's POOR men who MARRY YOUNG which explains why they're uneducated and poor, they  NEITHER pursue further studies nor careers!

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