I wonder where's the best place to live?

1. 60

   Chris Batterbeeposted 4 years ago via iphone

   So, where's the best place to live? I suppose it depends on your age first of all; below 17 it's with your Dad and Mum at home, or Dad or Mum, or the equivalent; if they've separated.  After that episode of living at home you move out and you can't bloody wait, freedom and no orders.
   But then you've got to eat, you've got to actually go food shopping and buy things like peas, ketchup, milk. Milk? Good god do I have to actually carry that heavy plastic MOTHER home?
   Then between 20-35 you meet a girl and fall in love, you spend a lot of your cash on meals out, hotels, days out and eventually go back to your shitty flat. She 'loves it' of course - "It's so you darling"
   This means politeness, we're talking CDs piled up like that tower in Piza, pants on the bath taps and porn hidden under the bed. She leaves you alone with your pants.
   Later on, after a few years you grow up as a man and it dawns upon you 'I must grow up'
   You buy a flat, bloody mortgage the lot - responsible, you're mature now. A geezer. Is this the best place to live?
   Something's missing because it is a flat, you keep going, trying hard, loving your lovely wife and then there's a bump, a lump in her tummy. A bump of pure loveliness and greatness and oh god we need a garden, best sell up move out a bit and buy a house, gonna miss the pubs and restaurants but I can have a shed and hang my gardening tools up on nails. Oh shit I've reached 40 years old, but you know what? I love it - it's the best place to live.

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