Please help send a message about abuse in Fifty Shades of Grey.
- JG Hemlockposted 8 years ago
0 Thanks for the run into the ground opinion without reading - again. This obviously is not a topic you are interested in; and this befuddling, confusing information being up here doesn't hurt you. Back to the main topic:
The hate-hype changing idea that also has the potential to keep niave FSoG fans safer:
Fans spread the message about the abuse in Fifty Shades and pass it around. This could be done in a concerted, humorous way (imagine a few smart but funny memes randomly being tossed around). Its just information as ‘harmless’ as these books & movies - that also happens to have the potential to help protect fans and STOP the misogyinistic bullying across the globe (and possibly bring good publicity into the mix).
There are lots of articles on the subject out there - it shouldn't be too hard for you to find the things that need to be said and heard. I have an example in my spotlight article and there are other resources.
The only tip I have - is make sure that every graphic has a clear indicator that it is a fan-generated thing; and not more hater-hype. A website (or page like on a fansite) could be enough of an indicator - plus give the information a source so that fans get credit for it.
__________
For instance, imagine a 'meme' - a scene from the 1st movie that perhaps demonstrates a splash of text in an 'overexaggerated' way.
I'm not familiar enough with 50 Shades to think of a SPECIFIC one - but, for example: Perhaps there is a scene where Mr. Grey is coming at Ana with a pain-inflicting implement and she has a funny, 'extra-terrifed' look on her face.
The caption could read, "If you're not turned on by your lover walking towards you with a bull whip - he might be an abuser."
That could even be 'the theme' for this meme campaign "he might be an abuser" - along the same lines of 'you might be a redneck if..."
A new one could come out every week or month - heck, a fansite could have a contest and choose the winners.
The entire world would breathe a sigh of relief over this issue.
Are these people making money off of us and de sensitizing us to true love…
or making it (true love) more clear?
I hear that these two main characters actually end up getting married and having two kids!!!!! and that's how it all ends!
Ana in the first movie, was willing because she loved Gray. But, when she discovered he did not have the ability to love her, she left. Obviously he did have the ability to love her on some level and probably changed his desires. In other words love transformed the beast in him it is probably a story similar to the beauty and the beast???? throw in a little sex and you got it!
Its too much to discuss on a forum. it really is. So much of human sexuality is hidden kept private and secret… it is the darkness within us that seems to emanate from a place which is not even ours. and we know that.
PS Fans are obviouslky not around here. so this is as good as it gets.Send a complaint to HP - I'd like to have this issue fixed, too. This forum topic isn't going away anytime soon since it is often on the front page of the site - because people keep responding to it. Expect it to continue, since I refuse to let it get turned into a protestor-bashing post.
I recommend figuring out how to ignore it. That's what I've basically been doing with all of mine that keep continuing - except this one for reasons I have previously stated, as you know.
One last thing (hopefully). I know that it looks like I don't have much support on this issue in here - thank you to the few who have at least been open to this idea. I do receive responses from this post, just like I do from the spotlight article and my blogs about this subject...
The normal type of feedback I receive is through email - because most people want to say things in private. Especially in a place like hubpages where you could be labeled as being 'anti-free speech' or whatever as I have. It isn't a reputation you want people to project onto you, and I don't blame them at all. I am happy to sit here and take hit after hit - I've been doing it for so long, that I already have responses for most everything - so, its easy.
However, almost all - in fact, ALL of the email responses (almost two dozen, maybe) that I have received from people who have read this post - apparently, not just people who write on hubpages - have been just a simple, "Thank you for writing that." A few elaborated a little as to why - but mostly, it just gives most people a relief to know that someone is staying on top of this issue and not letting it go. Yeah, it IS usually people who have previously been abused - bad us, huh?
Out of all of the responses I've received about this subject since I started writing about it (blogs, etc.) - one of the most specific things that frequently gets mentioned by survivors is my point about 'romantic rape' being a common way for abusers to initiate sexual violence. Its scary - people 'just turn' on you.
There is a great divide between 'survivors' about this issue - which is why many people don't want to talk out loud about it. Many FSoG fans are survivors and are just fine with the books; but many others are not - simply because of triggers that make us very afraid for all you happy-go-lucky kids who are so sure that you'll never have to worry about something like this.
I know this isn't going to matter to some of you - it's not like any reasoning or validation I've attempted to provide does a bit of good.
But, this is also how most (not all) Twilight Fans (of all ages, literally) start out writing me, too... Because they usually actually read what I have to say instead of assuming I'm just another anti-twilight monster. And, many of them still need help with their obsessions. You all have no idea how incredibly hard they can be to control. Because of the irresponsible way these books were written (and the movies were produced); these obsessions are not 'normal' Hollywood teenage obsessions - they're POTENT because they sort of sink into whatever cracks there may be in your personal psyche.
We 'sink into' these obsessions instead of 'going along for the ride' as one of my email TwiMoms put it. The world overestimates or underestimates these series - but, no one wants to tell the truth about them. Especially women.
"I'm also trying to discern if there is an acceptance that some people do use pain as a means to get to pleasure." Most definitely there is a HUGE difference - and that is one of the main problems with Fifty Shades of Grey. It is supposed to be a book about the subject of BDSM; but it is accidentally about abuse because of EL James' ignorance about the subject - on top of her intense, irresponsible and accidental twilight over-obsession that caused her to think/write in this way. For instance, if Ms. Steele were enjoying the parts of the story where Mr. Grey is hurting her - THAT is 'appropriate' BDSM practice. Most fans of this series can't comprehend that. What do you MEAN - enjoy it?!! Why would she ever enjoy being hit? LoL!
What I'm saying is... relationships shouldn't start out that way. I know that Ana is written conveniently to 'not really be interested in Christian' - just like Bella wasn't supposed to have her knickers in a knot over Edward Cullen. There is absolutely no reason for Ana to be attracted to Mr. Grey - unless she was 'into his lifestyle' from the beginning. Which, she wasn't. It's all just a cover so that Erika could share her naughty sexual fantasies - one after another - about her infatuation with all the hardcore, kinky stuff that she had 'accidentally' going on in her mind with Bella Swan and Edward Cullen within twilight way back then...
1) Christian confesses to Ana that he is into this kind of lifestyle (that she is not into - BDSM is very 'mutual') because he was emotionally disturbed as a child. Later, Ana apparently ‘cures’ him by somehow saving his soul from the grasp of it’s own dark evil. That RARELY happens in real life (even with therapy); and in fact, some women are killed trying to save their sick Mr. Grey’s - and sometimes those guys die in the process of women defending themselves.
I really hate using this story as an example - really. But if it helps to clarify things at all, this story about a Seattle mom of 3 going on a date with someone she met online is a harsh reality. The reason why this sad story applies is because 1) it points out what I just said, above - although this lady didn't have time to 'try and change him'. You know someone did, including his parents and possibly even his ex-girlfriend; and 2) 'romantic rape' that Mr. Grey is so fond of using was probably involved. It is one of the main manipulative things used by sexual predators.
She had supposedly been 'dating' this guy for a month - she probably thought that going to a public place was a good idea in order to 'size him up'. He probably said and did 'all the right things' for a while. If it is this difficult for people to see abuse like this coming at them in real life; how much HARDER would it be - when you've been shown how 'beautiful' things can turn out? This is an update on that story: http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-new … ime-scene/
It is highly-unlikely that a dom and sub would have this kind of conversation due to the 'mutual' aspects of a BDSM relationship:
“So you are punishing me?” He swallows, then closes his eyes. He doesn’t have to answer, and I know that punishing me was his exact intention. “You have to stop doing this,” I murmur. His brow furrows. “For a start, you only end up feeling shittier about yourself.” He snorts. “That’s true,” he mutters. “I don’t like to see you like this.” “And I don’t like feeling like this."
______________
There is plenty of data to support this stuff - the trouble is, people actually have to read it if they don't 'just already know' - like everything else. Here is that image again for those of you who keep insisting that what I have to say is incorrect.
If you (and so many others like you) can't see the harm in the related Chicago lawsuit regarding how Fifty Shades affected that situation - and possibly many others that we can't know about, then that is something your conscious can live peacefully with. More power to you. My mission continues.
“People are saying that this franchise does right by women because it was written and directed by women (no longer) and produced for women, but that only makes it worse,” she said. “That means that romanticized abuse is so internalized that it can be mass-marketed to women, and only demonstrates female-produced content as of lower quality, which isn’t the truth.” (Usually) Source
I am NOT 'anti-free speech'; and I AM a celebrator of the creative process - which is why I have said, I do not blame either amateur author OR the fans for what has happened. I AM on the side of fans whether anyone wants to believe that or not.
The difference between a book like Lolita and a book like FSoG is that Lolita is an accurate portrayal of abusive behavior. It is 'in your face' blatant and obvious. You can read the book or watch the movie - knowing that, your choice. Does it help proliferate abuse? Maybe.
But, FSoG deceives fans by portraying an obviously-abusive character that has been forced into a BDSM storyline (in order to make it seem like he isn't really being abusive) that includes one hardcore setting after another - scenes that didn't even need to actually be in the story in order to tell the story - using a serious problem that is already WAY TOO NORMALIZED in our world.
"I will, certainly, agree that no one should be spreading joking material or memes that promote or excuse abuse against women. So if there was something pertaining to a specific scene in Fifty Shades that was clearly abuse and not foreplay, it should not be meme-ified."
I'm not talking about joking about abuse - I'm talking about informing niave fans in a harmless way that is relatively obvious to them. Humor can work wonders for things like that.
_____________
Now back to the beginning!!
The hate-hype changing idea that also has the potential to keep niave FSoG fans safer:
Fans spread the message about the abuse in Fifty Shades and pass it around. This could be done in a concerted, humorous way (imagine a few smart but funny memes randomly being tossed around). Its just information as ‘harmless’ as these books & movies - that also happens to have the potential to help protect fans and STOP the misogyinistic bullying across the globe (and possibly bring good publicity into the mix).
There are lots of articles on the subject out there - it shouldn't be too hard for you to find the things that need to be said and heard. I have an example in my spotlight article and there are other resources.
The only tip I have - is make sure that every graphic has a clear indicator that it is a fan-generated thing; and not more hater-hype. A website (or page like on a fansite) could be enough of an indicator - plus give the information a source so that fans get credit for it.
__________
For instance, imagine a 'meme' - a scene from the 1st movie that perhaps demonstrates a splash of text in an 'overexaggerated' way.
I'm not familiar enough with 50 Shades to think of a SPECIFIC one - but, for example: Perhaps there is a scene where Mr. Grey is coming at Ana with a pain-inflicting implement and she has a funny, 'extra-terrifed' look on her face.
The caption could read, "If you're not turned on by your lover walking towards you with a bull whip - he might be an abuser."
That could even be 'the theme' for this meme campaign "he might be an abuser" - along the same lines of 'you might be a redneck if..."
A new one could come out every week or month - heck, a fansite could have a contest and choose the winners.
The entire world would breathe a sigh of relief over this issue.
The blog as opposed to the newsletter:
http://50-shades-of-abuse.blogspot.com. … -than.html
Back to the beginning to we don't lose track of the goal. This is the hate-hype changing idea that also has the potential to keep niave FSoG fans safer:
Fans spread the message about the abuse in Fifty Shades and pass it around. This could be done in a concerted, humorous way (even using various memes). Its just information as ‘harmless’ as these books & movies - that also happens to have the potential to help protect niave fans and STOP the misogyinistic bullying across the globe (and possibly bring good publicity into the mix).
There are lots of articles on the subject - it shouldn't be too hard to find the things that need to be said and heard. I have an example in my spotlight article and I've got other links collected in here.
The only tip I have - is make sure that every graphic has a clear indicator that it is a fan-generated thing; and not more hater-hype. A website (or page like on a fansite) could be enough of an indicator - plus give the information a source so that fans get credit for it.
If fans were to take this issue seriously, the entire world would breathe a sigh of relief and drop it.
Here are some examples:
It turns out that there are many memes and a bunch of other stuff already out there. Silly me, I just wrote about the subject from what *I* knew about it. I love validation.
i'm happy you found some intellectual equals to share your pictures with. the situation can best be summed up as
They will come when hype starts ramping up for these movies to come out. If Fifty Shades production company was smart - they would just send both of these movies straight to video. (Most people would appreciate them better not in a crowd anyway, ha!)
These images I have been posting are not new; and there are so many more I could grab... I was sincerely (despite what anyone thinks) hoping to diminish the coming waves of misogyny and hater-hype; but that is apparently not an option. Oh well. That doesn't mean I'll stop - why should I, when I've got all this stuff done? Curious people can inform themselves, or not. The hard part for me is over.
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