What are some of your favorite comedy one-liners?

  1. Gerg profile image78
    Gergposted 5 years ago

    What are some of your favorite comedy one-liners?

    For example, "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." - Steven Wright

  2. Mr Nice profile image80
    Mr Niceposted 5 years ago


    Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. -- Billy Crystal

    "I drink to forget but never forget to drink."

    "He who laugh last doesn't get the joke."

    "Success is relative - More the success more the relatives."

    "Change is inevitable.......except from vending machines."

    "Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks."

    ~I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep. ~George

    I think that should be enough to make your day.smile

  3. Jackwms profile image60
    Jackwmsposted 5 years ago

    Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

    If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

    Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

    Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.