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Critiques of Jenny's Life

  1. Dobson profile image82
    Dobsonposted 8 years ago

    I would appreciate any critiques of my serial called Jenny's Life.

    1. kaltopsyd profile image79
      kaltopsydposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      As you know, Dobson. I absolutely love your serial and I look forward to every new installment. I like the surprise (or the turn in events) in every additional "episode".

      I also like Jenny's character development and the tension that's building between her and the other characters.

  2. Dobson profile image82
    Dobsonposted 8 years ago

    So is this working or is no one reading the hub?

    1. gbranson profile image56
      gbransonposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I read the first part and noticed some spelling errors.  Other than that it was pretty good, not really my type of story but i definately could see a following with females

  3. daisyf1305 profile image77
    daisyf1305posted 8 years ago

    Hey all I to am writing my head off and would love support any critique is welcome.
    http://hubpages.com/hub/Stephenie-Meyer … y-part-one

  4. profile image0
    Website Examinerposted 7 years ago

    I will be happy to individually critique each installment of this story. All I ask is that you, Dobson, respond to each of my postings before I make the next one. I can do one each day...

    1. Dobson profile image82
      Dobsonposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      WE - I always respond to every comment. I feel if anyone is willing to comment I owe them a response. Thanks for you kindness!

  5. profile image0
    Website Examinerposted 7 years ago

    The story starts appealingly with a good blend of metaphor and reality. We immediately come to feel for Jenny, whom Dobson cleverly introduces in thought and sensual stimulation in the opening paragraph.

    Seems the household is a settled and somewhat prosperous affair, with Jenny and her teenage brother Bobby having no greater immediate worries than contesting for a limited supply of hot water for the morning shower. Teasingly, they get along.

    Enter their mother Kyla, which allows us to quickly learn about a new side of Jenny: Pretty and used to getting her way.

    A somewhat dramatic movement follows, as mother and daughter take delight in Bobby's self-imposed predicament. Subtle threats and snappy comebacks are exchanged between the siblings with their mother as moderator - yet have no fear...

    1. Dobson profile image82
      Dobsonposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      WE - Thanks for reviewing this first chapter with such an open mind. I was trying to find my way in this first installment. As the story continues a plot emerges and tension begins to build as all the suppositions of the first chapter are wiped away with the realities of how Jenny's Life really plays on a daily basis.