...yah come home and find a whole quail in your trashed fridge!!!
You know you are married to a redneck when he thinks "going out to dinner" is take out.
You know you're married to a redneck when he opens a bag of Cheetos and dumps them into his soup because there are no crackers.
When you ask him if all the Christmas lights are up and he says:
Yep Hunny ...all the ones I put up last year still look fine.
When romance to him is offering to take you hunting.
When he fixes your dryer with a guitar part, and his truck brakes with a lamp part...
And they both work great afterwards...(honest!)
...when he wears a baseball cap (or one of those square caps that say 'john deere or something) all of the time...even when you're out for a nice evening.....
when he thinks your camo underwear is the sexiest.
Or a date is going to a bar (it's fancy) instead of Burger King.
or you might be married to a redneck when you figure out YOU are a redneck!
You ask what’s on TV and he says “Dust”
The weed-wacker has more horsepower than your car
Hair-cuts are either a #2 or a bigger hat
The dog run is bigger than your mobile home
Rust is considered patina
There are more tools in the shed than you have hair
When he comments on “nice shoes” and though they come in pairs, he is not talking about footwear, and they usually are not yours
He considers beer the best aphrodisiac, his
Foreplay begins with “Load up” (which in redneck vernacular is translated as “Get in the truck honey”)
....he's content to sit & watch old reruns of Bonanza night after night after night.....
I must be a redneck. Here is one of the photos of the remodeling I did on our bathroom.
The guy at the family reunion who has all his fingers & toes is known as a "showoff".
She goes to a garage sale, and returns with a Betamax.
He has the NASCAR schedule memorized, but can't remember your birthday.
Non-working toasters aren't thrown out...they're used as doorstops.
When you tell him you're pregnant and he tells you he's your long lost brother
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