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jump to last post 1-6 of 6 discussions (20 posts)

Do beliefs matter in a marriage? IJN Jas(author)

  1. Janice Daniel profile image59
    Janice Danielposted 2 years ago

    Do beliefs matter in a marriage?
    IJN
    Jas(author)

    A married couple were having marital problems because she changed her life for the better and he doesn't want to change his. He doesn't read the bible or go to church. Her religion teaches her to do those things so she thinks he should do the same, but her beliefs also teach her that she is bound to him by the holy law of marriage. If he cheats/fornicate, she can get a divorce. If he dies, Jehovah forbid, then she can marry another.
    IJN
    Jas(author)




    https://usercontent1.hubstatic.com/12918548_f260.jpg

  2. bradmasterOCcal profile image31
    bradmasterOCcalposted 2 years ago

    Marriage shouldn't be about beliefs, or changing the people in the marriage. Marriage should be the personification of Opposites Attract, and I know all your flaws, but I still love you.

    If one partner makes a good change, the other partner should enjoy it.
    Basically, a couple can be one, but it is more like adding ingredients to a food dish. Having two pieces of steak, and no potatoes, or two potatoes and no streak, is not as good a one steak with a potato.

    1. Annsalo profile image85
      Annsaloposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      "Basically, a couple can be one, but it is more like adding ingredients to a food dish." I love that sentence. So true!

    2. bradmasterOCcal profile image31
      bradmasterOCcalposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks

  3. Annsalo profile image85
    Annsaloposted 2 years ago

    If she decides to change, she can not expect him to change. Do we expect everyone in our lives to believe exactly the same thing? I don't, and quite honestly I would have to wonder about the mentality of someone who did.
    What I find interesting is your entire question.
    My hubby works with a wonderful guy who happens to be an atheist. After having 2 kids with his lady she started getting forceful about her Jehovah beliefs. They are now split up over it, with her keeping the kids away from him for the most part because she thinks the children should believe exactly as she does. When they do see each other she criticizes him because of his lack of belief. He thinks she is delusional and she thinks he is insane for not believing what she thinks. It's chaos with children thrown in the middle.
    Honestly if I were the husband in this situation I would leave. When you marry someone you are not implying in any way they have to make every change you do. Example: I quit bacon, I still cook it so my hubby can devour it though!
    I'm atheist married to a Christian. Our beliefs have nothing to do with our love for each other. No one gets to force their spouse to change or guilt them into it. You accept the person for what they are or you divorce them and move on so they can find someone who will love them the way they are!

  4. fpherj48 profile image76
    fpherj48posted 2 years ago

    Janice.....You joined Hubpages 5 (FIVE) years ago, have never written even one Hub, are following ONE person who is the only person following you.

    I see you're a Jehovah's Witness.  You might want to introduce yourself to our resident non-stop Scripture-quoting Jehovah's Witness, Noreen Williams.
    The 2 of you would get along beautifully and she could sure use a friend.

    You JW ladies can have a wonderful Bible-based relationship.  I know she would love to meet you and you will like her.  Good luck.

    1. LoisRyan13903 profile image81
      LoisRyan13903posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      She does have a book published, maybe that's why there are no hubs.  Plus you didn't answer the question.

    2. fpherj48 profile image76
      fpherj48posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Lois..Unless U R An Attorney 4 Janice or get paid to monitor threads, I'll bet Janice can answer herself if she so chooses. I CHOSE not to answer her Q. I said what I had to say. And I was not talking to you.  Thank you.

    3. LoisRyan13903 profile image81
      LoisRyan13903posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Well don't talk to me.  I just unfollowed you

    4. profile image60
      Leon1345posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Paula she has every right to reply to one of your comments. Seems like you one  are hateful person. Take a look in the mirror and see it for yourself.

    5. fpherj48 profile image76
      fpherj48posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I wasn't even aware you WERE following.  LOL...How silly!
      really....stop your trolling....you AND Mr. Leon with his 3 big fat zeros!

    6. Janice Daniel profile image59
      Janice Danielposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Please forgive me if you are offended by my questions. 
      I'm just the messenger.
      I am a witness of Jehovah n not a Jehovah witness.
      You can not serve two masters because you will love one and hate the other.
      Blessed are the one's that can hear.
      IJN

    7. LoisRyan13903 profile image81
      LoisRyan13903posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I only followed you because you have interesting hubs.  Not a troll.  I myself had about two hundred but were unpublished because of people stealing my work and copying it elsewhere.  I agree what Leon said was uncalled for.  have a nice day

    8. profile image60
      Leon1345posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Well Paula you did Troll as well with your answer, but that is done and over.  I'm sorry but was in bad mood yesterday since wife has been in hospital.  You too are entitled to your op.  Have to agree N. W. is annoying and maybe Jas may have irked u

    9. fpherj48 profile image76
      fpherj48posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Leon..It is sad that UR wife is ill. Even sadder that rather than focusing on HER, U attack others! Take care of UR WIFE. Noreen and ALL JW's are BEYOND annoying & everyone here knows it & is Damned sick of it!!
      My comment was TRUTH, not trol

    10. LoisRyan13903 profile image81
      LoisRyan13903posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I can see where you are coming from.  I get tired of non-believers bashing Christians and I see you weren't.  Following your hubs again-they are too good not to follow.  Upstate NY?  I live in Binghamton

    11. fpherj48 profile image76
      fpherj48posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I would never bash a Christian, nor a believer of their Faith.I do however, & always WILL, point out when individuals go over the line of sanity & respect 4 others!  Pushing, forcing, damning, incessant QUOTING & Bible banging is WRONG!!

    12. LoisRyan13903 profile image81
      LoisRyan13903posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I totally agree especially if the quote does not apply to the answer or the response.  Have a good day, I have to get to sleep after working last night.

  5. LoisRyan13903 profile image81
    LoisRyan13903posted 2 years ago

    I would say in this situation, she shouldn't force the issue because she changed after she got married.  If two people decide to get married they should talk with each other about their beliefs so they can get an understanding of where they stand.  For example one may be a believer and the other not, they have to have the understanding to respect each other's belief and be willing not to convert each other.  If one person try to be controlling over the other in regard to belief or non belief, this marriage will not work.

  6. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 2 years ago

    https://usercontent1.hubstatic.com/12958514_f260.jpg

    "A married couple were having marital problems because she changed.." Nothing more needs to be said after "she changed".
    It could be religion, wanting children, or any other major thing.
    She is no longer the same woman he fell in love with!
    " she thinks he should do the same..." (Not content changing alone?)
    So now she wants or expects him to change because she did.
    Very few people are walking around with one hand raised in the air screaming: "I'm looking for someone to change me!"
    The majority of people want to be loved and accepted for who they are. When we change our circumstances change.
    If one person insists upon their mate changing there is a good chance they could end up divorced.
    We're either "growing together" or "growing apart".
    Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys.
    Ideally the goal is to marry or date someone who (already is) the kind of person you want to be with. Never take on a "project".
    Whenever we attempt to "change" someone we experience frustration on our part and our mate experiences resentment.
    Essentially (she) upended their marriage with this change and if it's truly that important to her  she needs to divorce him and find a man who shares (her) beliefs. Otherwise live and let live.
    They don't give out "whoopee cookies" for staying unhappily married.
    Just because you teach a fox not to eat the hen doesn't mean they are an ideal couple. If your or your mate has to "change" your core being in order to make a relationship work it generally means you have chosen the wrong mate. Expecting someone to become who they are not is equivalent to expecting a cat to bark.

 
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