Hey everyone these are two sad pieces of dramatic poems which one is far more dramatic and sad?
Sorrow Came In Droves
The angels were shocked,
the spirits would glow,
right before them was an elaborate show,
on one counter,
small broken teeth on a silver tray,
and a little girlâ��s bloodied clothes,
laid out carefully in a graphic display,
the angels with horrified looks,
stared at the other table,
that had the girlâ��s book bag and school books,
sorrow came in droves,
as ghosts were hovering
over the dead girlâ��s clothes.
A Great Divine
On the outside you could hear the pouring rain,
then it came to a complete halt,
as the steamy air rose
in damp waves from the asphalt,
society in general,
must be totally insane,
there was little else to explain,
the detective staring, eyes glaring,
at the semi-nude body
of an elderly woman,
a twisted sheet wrapped her head,
rigored in bed,
with no apparent trauma,
socks half off her feet,
a window left opened,
and a stray pubic hair on the sheet,
it’s a tragedy that blows the mind,
and rape-murder was a clear sign,
that we desperately need intervention
from a great divine.
to me the first poem sounds more dramatic, though the poem is short with respect to the second one. I believe the first sinks into the heart more.We can identify with both victims in the poems but i feel the first seems more appealing although the message delivered in the end of the second poem is a great asset
Glad to have you here on hubpages ~
uriel a fellow poet and hubber friend
I liked them both, the second just a little more than the first.
So... what inspired you to write about the rape/murder victims?
The first poem had more shock value because the victim was a child. The repetition of "the dead girl's clothes, the dead girl's school bag, the dead girls' clothes" focused the image and evoked a strong response to the picture you painted. The second poem was far more graphic and shocking in its details.
The first relied more on cuing our visceral response through high-emotion key-words, where the second shocked in its explicit images.
They both evoke feelings of sadness, and would be more or less dramatic depending on which death you find more moving - that of the child or that of the old woman.
I love the rhythm and flow of both. Very moving. It is amazing how a complete story can be told with so few words. Excellent. More dramatic? For me both really hit me, but perhaps the first was a little more dramatic for me--almost more so because of what wasn't said. Great work.
The first poem I thought was more sad and dramatic. It described a child's tragedy with such imagery. I felt the sadness through the ache of those words.
However both are written very well.
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